So grateful for you D.A. Always contacting me when I need it.

Youll be a really good mom and wife to someone.

Love you bud. Blessed by you.


"You're going to find a time when you think you cant pull through but you will be able too and you wont need anything outside of yourself to do it."

And you wont need to give up on love either

Ever

You might want to at times cuz its "easier" but you wont

“All negativity is caused by an accumulation of psychological time and denial of the present. Unease, anxiety, tension, stress, worry - all forms of fear - are caused by too much future, and not enough presence. Guilt, regret, resentment, grievances, sadness, bitterness, and all forms of non-forgiveness are caused by too much past, and not enough presence.”



Eckhart Tolle

12/27/13

Shanell called me today. Sweetie <3

Criticism kills contentment.

Act confident and you will build confidence.

"So then, anyone who knows the right thing to do and fails to do it is committing a sin."

~James 4:17

Why Pursuing Pleasure Is The Emotional Equivalent Of Eating Empty Calories

The Greek word for happiness is eudaimonia. “Eu” means good, or well-being, and “daimon” refers to the spirit. For Aristotle, eudaimonia was the ultimate good, obtained by virtue and insight.


Connectedness and purpose are what it’s all about, really. When we're virtuous, we have or demonstrate integrity to some greater purpose. When we have insight, we inevitably experience the interconnectedness of all things. We have a sense of ourselves as part of something bigger. That big thing could be the astounding pulsing rhythm of this biological planet, or something out there in the stratosphere. That part doesn't matter. What matters is the sense of well-being we humans derive from meaning, purpose, belief, and connection.

So, I’ve invited myself to play with words and create a new narrative that reflects my understanding (informed by science, philosophy and contemplative traditions) of the purpose of life and the ultimate of aspirations. Like Aristotle (and my cells) I’m pointing my compass toward eudaimonia, toward living with insight, virtue and purpose and to “flourish” alongside those I share this planet with.

And how do I conclude my morning meditation practice? “May all beings be well in spirit.”

:-)

9 Ways To Become A Better, More Positive You

1. Say affirmations every day until they sink in and resonate within every cell of your being.

Sure, they may sound ridiculous initially, but overcome this and keep saying them until you absolutely believe them to be true! Every day I tell myself that “I am healthy, happy and energized; my mind is peaceful; my heart is full of love. I attract positivity, success, and abundance into my life.” This is a habit worth keeping!

2. Use visualizations to get clear on what you want.

Become a productive daydreamer — let your imagination become your best friend. When you add feeling to your visualizations (really believe it and feel it), you create positive energy, which helps produce positive changes in your life.

3. Create a vision board and place it where you can see it regularly.

In BIG writing, put the words "Thank You, Thank You, Thank You" on it to show the universe that you're thankful for everything you have, and for everything that's coming your way!

4. Practice expressing an attitude of gratitude for all that you have in your life.

Gratitude allows us to participate more in life; it allows us to reshape the meaning of any situation. You notice and appreciate the positives more than the negatives, and that magnifies the pleasures you get from life.

5. Listen to joyful music.

Music can energize or relax you, and experiencing inspiring audio can encourage you to be the best you can be.

6. Read motivational books.

These make you feel empowered and excited about your personal growth journey.

7. Put inspiring quotes around everywhere for you to see.

It's the same as above — if you surround yourself with inspiration, you're bound to be inspired!

8. Surround yourself with people who lift you up.

Finding the right people to share your life with is one of the most difficult areas of life, but if you make an effort to surround yourself with positive, uplifting people, you'll begin to feel the effects quite quickly.

9. Practice meditation.

Meditation will bring you peace in daily life and make you more conscious, aware and mindful — a huge relief in the midst of our chaotic, multitasking lives.

Do as much as you can every day to become a better and more positive you. Take notice of all the beautiful things around you, as opposed to being blinded by the chaos in your life. You'll be amazed at the positive feelings you will experience in your mind and body. The more intentional you are about thinking positively, despite the negativity you face, the more you will experience life in its true light. And thanks to you, the world will also be a better place because of your positive attitude and energy.

Personal growth journey.

"God's plan for your life
is not something you develop,
it's something you discover."

Judgey Judgerson.
"If you have time to judge other people, you have way too much time on your hands. Get off your *** and do something meaningful."
~ Shane Gibson

What a great concept to keep in mind during the chaos of the holiday season! It's so easy to decide who the person in front of you in line is, making assumptions and conclusions... or voting on your family and why they are totally psycho... focusing all your energy on why these "others" may be "less-than" in some way. Totally natural. We all do it. But it never really helps. With anything. So, what if you were to switch your focus to self-care? What do you need to do to take care of you? Politely excuse yourself from a convo? Focus on what you're thankful for when you're waiting in a god-awful line at the store. Bottom line: Taking care of yourself always feels better than standing in a place of judgment. So, catch yourself, switch it up, and see how much better it feels. I dare you.

In the midst of movement & chaos,
keep stillness inside of you.
- Deepak Chopra


I know how to know...


His name is JESUS

Don't let [junk] bump you off your grind. Keep your balance of course.

12-21-13 poetic justice box braids

Represent 5 things for me:

1. God's faithfulness to pull me out of troubles to a place of being whole again and providing for me financially
2. Transformation - change takes time
3. Identity - just is ... me
4. Thriving/Best ME - expressing myself, ending hair struggles, increasing happiness, love, creativity, beauty, and confidence in my life.
5. Anti-racism - black is beautiful, provokes thought of norm/beauty/ownership. No point for prejudice



Answers to prayer found in braided hair.

Thank you, Yah.

<3 Jeskah

“Serenity comes when you trade expectations for acceptance.”


~Unknown

"You are not IN the Universe, you ARE the Universe, an intrinsic part of it. Ultimately you are not a person, but a focal point where the Universe is becoming conscious of itself. What an amazing miracle."

Eckhart Tolle

The moment you feel stuck
And feel life is about just learning those lessons
You just want....

change.

"Wherever you are, be there totally. If you find your here and now intolerable and it makes you unhappy, you have three options: remove yourself from the situation, change it, or accept it totally."

Eckhart Tolle

http://www.secretsofthefed.com/wont-believe-happens-black-man-brings-white-girlfriend-harlem-barbershop-watch/

An odd by-product of giving freely out of compassion and love is how it makes the giver feel. The more you give from a place of unconditional generosity, the more joy you feel. Giving makes you realize how much power you have to make others feel better about themselves and their lives.

Go out and give whatever you have to whoever needs it. Seek ordinary moments and make them extraordinary. Life truly is a special occasion.

http://tinybuddha.com/blog/why-giving-to-others-is-also-giving-to-ourselves/

" When truth slaps you in the face, listen. "

Gluttony

The gluttony stops today. Lord, help me.

HOLY HIP-HOP

JahWord, Prime Minister, Scribe, Easop, Cross Movement, Pettidee, T-Bone, Chejah, Mark J, D-Hunter, Nolly Williams, BB-Jay, Jaz, Nuwine, Amani, Corey Red, Elle Roc, Urban D, G.R.I.T.S., Precise, Tragedy, Son of Jesse, Godsunz, Lil Raskull, Obadiah-1, Bishop Eddie Long, Tre-9, Lady Kross, Tunnel Rats, Street Sweeperz, G.O.G.'z, Sup The Chemist, Lisa McClendon, Ricardo Flo, Frankie Cutlass, Ambassador, Knowdaverbs, Set-Free, Breeve Eazy, KJ52, Ty Scott, The Priesthood, Mr. Del, HanSoul & Tribe of Judah, I.D.O.L. Kings, STIKK, Carriers of the Cross, Kingsta, Ricky B. & 4Given, Shekinah, Christopher Martin, Sean Slaughter, Todd Bangz, Enock, New Breed, Fros-T, Lil Short/e, DJ Lace, Dynamic Twins, Lee Jerkins, Fiti Futuristic, Canton Jones, J.Silas, Bert Bocachica, Phanatik, L.A. Symphony, Minister Zion, Ritchie Righteous, DJ Maj, Shai Linne, Light, TooBiz, Mars Ill, John The Baptist, Ason, Rawsrvnt, Curtis Jermany, Emc, God's Army, Japhia Life, Tony Stone, Shei Atkins, Bobby Bishop, Lecrae, Knine, J.Kwest, Dynamite X, Kennie Randall, MVP, Floyd Cray, Ephrem Smith, Kay Bizzy, DJ Rapzilla, Da Truth, Tha GIM, Rev.Rap, K-Drama, Mike Mike, Da Minista, Flame, Braille, Sean Blu, 116 Clique, Stephen Wiley, Vic Padilla, LG Wise, Young Prayzr, IROCC, S.O.M., D-M.A.U.B., Gospel Gangstaz, The Great Commission, Danny "D-Boy" Rodriguez (posthumous), Legacy, XROSS, Dice Gamble, Christafari, Kurtis Blow Walker, Josh Niemyjski, Cy, Nova 4 Jehova,DJ I Rock Jesus, Lil Prophet, Rapid Fire, Infamous, DJ D-Lite,The Clergy, Kuntrey Wyte & Pyro, M.A.J.O.R.S, BLAK,Anonymous and J-Blaze, Eternal Soldier: Enock, Che Che Da Supastar, Chris Chicago, Mariaha Markel, ApaulSoul, Mobsters of Light, big Al, Mali Music, Ace Infiniti, C. Micah, Shamel Shiloh, Lil La La, Sho Baraka, MoBigga, Doulos, A-1 S.W.I.F.T., Mr. D-Note, Zion, G-Quinn, Rob Hodge, Messenjah, Halo & Reign, D-Class, SLAVE (posthumous), Jason Hollis, Matt Maddex, Dr. Jonathan Bixby, Alan Riggs, Brinson, Wingy Danejah, DJ Edub, DJ Will, DJ Network, Double, Trip Lee, Eastwood, Dre Murray, Big Prophet, Fedel, Kambino, Scott Free, Derrick Woods (MTM), Alex Pagani (Holla-Fest), Trig (HolyCulture); Tedashaii, True, THI’SL, Theory Hazit, B The Messenger, Sincere Israel, T-Haddy, Fro, Breathe Eazy, Colcutz, JD Eyebrows, Damion Orlando. Ambassador/DJ Lace Award: Pastor Pete 'DJ one3' Walker (HeadzUp FM)

"You are the one you've been waiting for, indeed. All the power and courage you need to transform your life to one of heart centered truth is already within! Be brave enough to set it free and rise up."

-Heather Day Wellness

Raw

"Struggle is resistance to change. You only struggle because you're ready to grow but aren't willing to let go."

"I pray that from the treasures of his glory he will empower you with inner strength by His Spirit, so that the Messiah may live in your hearts through your trusting. Also I pray that you will be rooted and founded in love, so that you, with all God's people, will be given strength to grasp the breadth, length, height and depth of the Messiah's love, yes, to know it, even though it is beyond all knowing, so that you will be filled with all the fullness of God.

Now to him who by his power working in us is able to do far beyond anything we can ask or imagine, to him be glory in the Messianic Community and in the Messiah Yeshua from generation to generation forever. Amen."

~ Ephesians 3:16-21 ~

One of those days ...

“You must love in such a way that the person you love feels free.”

~Thich Nhat Hahn

"glorious interplay of energies when you’re actually in the same room with people"

His servant.

His child.

Are You a Highly Sensitive Person?

What is sensitivity?

Sensitivity is your ability to pick up on sensory information with your nervous system. It is neutral. It’s like a sensitive microphone; it picks up on subtle sounds. Not good or bad.

What kinds of sensory things can you pick up on?

Your sensitive nervous system can pick up on other people’s emotions, the weather, lighting, sounds, smells, and more. I think of the human body like a vessel for receiving information, and your nervous system is your antennae bringing in that information. You can then process it in your body with your thoughts, feelings, emotions, and actions.

Why do we so often think of sensitivity as weakness?

We often think of sensitivity as weakness for three main reasons: it is out of our logical control, it makes us vulnerable, and we don’t know what to do with it, which means that we suppress and judge it—so it has manifested in weakness.

What can I do now to start to experience my sensitivity with greater strength?

1. Understand the difference between a sensation and an emotion.

A sensation is neutral sensory information in your body (butterflies in stomach, tension in shoulders, pit in stomach). An emotion is a personal response to a sensation (I personally feel scared about this).

2. Allow yourself to feel your sensations neutrally and engage with them.

For example, “I feel my body shaking right now, and that is okay. I can shake.” Rather than judging it by saying, “Why am I shaky right now? What’s wrong with me? I shouldn’t be nervous now!”

3. Remind your self that you are a participant in life, not just an observer.

I liken this to being on the chessboard of life rather than just looking at it from above. Allow yourself to notice what you feel in response to the position you are in. There are actual energetic dynamics that you will feel based on where you are physically in your life. Ask yourself “What would feel better right now?” and then just let that come to you.

You really can trust yourself; your body knows more than you think. Your nervous system is getting a lot. Trust it. Trust is a practice. It’s a work out. Start where you are and take a step in the direction of trusting your body and what it is telling you.

That is how you strengthen the connection with your body. The present is here for you to unwrap in each surprising moment.



http://tinybuddha.com/blog/are-you-a-highly-sensitive-person/

The current focus my God has provided for me directionally

Thankful people are happy.

Always give thanks for everything to God the Father in the name of our Lord Yeshua the Messiah. ~Ephesians 5:20

Morning Part I

Happy Monday all Here is [Part 1] to sharing my mornings with Yah:

“Always give thanks for everything to God the Father in the name of our Lord Yeshua the Messiah. ~Ephesians 5:20

There is so much to be thankful for regardless of if we feel thankful or not. God deserves the glory!! http://www.lwf.org/site/News2?abbr=for_&id=10049

12 Dear friends, do not be surprised at the fiery ordeal that has come on you to test you, as though something strange were happening to you. 13 But rejoice inasmuch as you participate in the sufferings of Christ, so that you may be overjoyed when his glory is revealed.

-1 Peter 4:12-13

"Yoga is the art of getting out of your own way." Eoin Finn

Self-compassion

Guilt may have its place in courtrooms, but my verdict is the real answer lies in compassion and gentleness—starting with yourself.

“While the motivational power of self-criticism comes from fear of self-punishment, the motivational power of self-compassion comes from the desire to be healthy, to reduce our suffering.”

3 Ideas to Create Compassion for Yourself

Throughout the last ten years of her research, Kristin Neff has found three main ways to generate more compassion for yourself.

1. Be kind to yourself

The best way to think about being kind to yourself is to think about a friend.

Go ahead. Do it now. Visualize your best friend.

Now imagine she comes to you and says she is hurting because she was passed over for that promotion at work that she’s wanted for so long.

Would you say to her, “Well, it’s probably because you didn’t work hard enough. And you’re too mousy. You should have spoken up about wanting a promotion a long time ago.”

What? You wouldn’t say that to a friend? Would you say it to yourself?

It’s more likely that you would hug your friend and say, “Oh no! That’s terrible. I know how long you’ve been hoping to get that promotion. Come on, let’s go get some coffee and talk about it?”

You can be kind to yourself in this way, too. Treat yourself as you would treat a friend who is suffering.

Just as you would hug your friend, soothe yourself as well. Put your hands over your heart or locate the spot in your body where your hurt is hiding and gently place both hands there.

Speak kindly to yourself. Call yourself by an endearing name.

“Oh, honey. I’m hurting because I wanted that promotion so badly. This is a really hard place to be in right now.”

2. Embrace your common humanity

Many times when you criticize or judge yourself, you feel isolated. It seems as though you are the only one in the world who has that particular flaw.

And yet, we are all imperfect. We all suffer. And so we are all connected by our shared humanity.

One of the wonderful outcomes of self-compassion is our enhanced sense of belonging, the feeling that we are all in this together.

The next time you are looking in the mirror and not liking what you see, remember that you are an integral part of a flawed, wonderful, wounded, miraculous human tribe.

3. Be mindful

How will you know that you are suffering if you are repressing your pain, rationalizing it, or busy with problem-solving?

You must allow awareness of your pain to enter in. Being mindful is about noticing what is happening in the moment and having no judgment about it.

Notice your hurt and just be with it, compassionately and with kindness.

And note that trying to make pain go away with self-compassion is just another way to repress pain and hurt. Self-compassion is about being with your suffering in a kind, loving way, not about making suffering disappear.

We will always have pain. But as Shinzen Young has noted: Suffering = Pain x Resistance. The more you resist your pain, perhaps by trying to make it go away, the more suffering you will experience.

Mindfulness allows you to stay with the pain without the resistance.

Near the end of the workshop, Kristin led us through one last exercise called “Soften, soothe, allow.” It combines all three of the components listed above to help generate self-compassion.

After thinking about a difficulty we have, Kristin directed us to find the place in our bodies that held our problem and then place our hands on it.

I placed both of my hands gently over my heart.

Then, we were encouraged just to be with our pain—not try to rid ourselves of it—and allow kindness and compassion to surround it.

As I sat meditating on something I have always considered to be a character flaw, tears arose under my closed eyelids and soon splashed down my face.

It was the first time I had ever felt kindness for myself about this very raw area rather than listening to my inner critic. The pain I felt was actually okay when held in this compassionate space, I didn’t need to be ashamed any longer.

The soft waves of compassion surrounding my heart had healed me of my shame.

I now choose self-compassion in my life, especially when that inner voice starts up.


http://tinybuddha.com/blog/self-compassion-learning-to-be-nicer-to-ourselves/

“He who knows that enough is enough will always have enough.” ~Lao Tzu

Buy experiences. Not material things.

11/11/13

Pain can push you to blossom.

“The most beautiful people we have known are those who have known defeat, known suffering, known struggle, known loss, and have found their way out of the depths. These persons have an appreciation, a sensitivity, and an understanding of life that fills them with compassion, gentleness, and a deep loving concern. Beautiful people do not just happen.”

- Elisabeth Kübler-Ross

Yoga Shelter Lecture 11/10/13

Get Outta Your Mind! In these two lectures Amitji will analyze the devastating nature of an ungoverned mind and offer solutions of developing the intellect. Learn how to live a more peaceful, happy and connected life. ~~




So amazing helpful and practical. Just a few simple takeaways: : :

-read less. Think more.

-we are infested with desires and we must get rid of them.

-do not get attached. Attachment is mental bondage.

-we are all on the spectrum between sane and insane. Those who are more sane are those who operate out of intellect, not impulse.

-perfection in the present moment will lead to success in the future. Perfection in the present is success in itself.

-read The Fall of the Human Intellect.

-do an assessment at my school for what it is like and what students need.


Outside research.

The fall of Human Intellect from Parshwadeep Lahane

The stillness, beauty, and peace that arise in this very moment.

The big question:

What do I need right now?

"Needs are personal prerequisites to happiness."

~Beautifully spoken~


But I’ll bet that, on a soul level, you don’t need a cooler car, a bigger ring, whiter teeth, or more parties.

What do you need then? Answering this question can be one of the most powerful transformations of your life.

It was for me. After that class, I started paying attention to my needs; and very slowly, I began attending to them.

I needed to embrace my introverted nature instead of ignoring it or boozing it out at parties every weekend. I needed alone time—space to dream, think, and be. I needed peace and quiet. Deep conversation. The freedom to spend a Friday night in without guilt.

Being aware of my needs was making room for me to actually start taking care of them.

The way I treat myself sets the standards for others.

The way you treat yourself sets the standards for how you treat others.

" You see my skin color
I see your skin color
And it's beautiful "

-Propaganda

Real recognize real.

These are the steps I followed in learning to love myself:

1. Get to know your inner critic, its voice, and its intentions.

Activate your observer self and listen to what it is saying as if you are hearing it on the radio. Recognize that this is an old tape repeating the criticism of society and the people who raised you to ensure your emotional and physical safety. It is running on autopilot.

2. Take some time to yourself; go deep inside.

Explore what you could have done to deserve this much self-hate/criticism. Look for an example of a person or situation where you can’t hate someone who’s made a mistake, even if you wanted to.

Let your brain help you find proof that you don’t deserve your self-criticism. When you find it, you will create a crack in that thought pattern. But that alone is not enough to break it open and get it to release.

3. Make a realistic plan.

List three things you can do to raise your self-esteem. These can be as simple as: “I will say ‘I love you’ to myself ten times a day,” or “I will look at myself in the mirror and identify things I like about myself every morning before leaving the house.”

The trick is that they need to feel doable to you. This is your plan. You are in charge of what you want to do. Make it a joyful and fun one.

4. Stick with the program.

I find that I get the best results when I keep track of it. Seeing a day or two of missing my exercises or meditation bothers me and motivates me to get back into it.

5. Start hanging out with people who make you feel good.

These are the people who see and experience you as who you really are. Let people who love you reflect the real you back to you. Start hanging out with people who could use cheering up. Reflect back to them how you see them. Practice the balance of receiving and giving.

6. Know that you have the power to take the reins from this inner critic.

It has been doing a great job, but it doesn’t need to drive the car anymore. Once you decide this, the rest is pretty much practice and patience.

My inner critic was so harsh that it was hard for friends to watch me hurt myself that way, but I’ve learned to love myself. You can do it too.

Treading the water of it to truly understand it.

Jesse Jackson said it perfectly, “Both tears and sweat are salty, but they render a different result. Tears will get you sympathy; sweat will get you change.” Detroit is proof that sweat and tears play a significant roll, but to elicit change, there must be a balance between connection and conviction, community and individuality.

Hit a low, but it’s up from here!
So much maintenance. Constant attention. Very few breaks. The “break” is outside of work.
The break is away from responsibility.
To find peace in the classroom.
To be calm inside.
To radiate inner strength and confidence.
To radiate energy.
Life energy.
To be alive.
To have rooted confidence.
To be so proud of every day.
To know where I stand, and be proud in that.


Reconnect to the roots that connect me to myself.
Hip-hop.
Poetry.
Nature.
Gardening.
Like-minded souls.
Love.
Expression.
Knowledge.

Wisdom of the ages:

“Be true to yourself.
BE YOURSELF.
Be authentic.
Don’t let anyone change you.”

Easier said than done
because look who I’ve been come
A person oscillating
Tossed to and fro in the wind
By the prevalence of this culture
By the strength of that mindset
By the inculturation of that worldview
The force of evil is strong
Who will prevail?

Conformity screams
It’s so much easier
It’s so much easier.
Well who conforms to the idea that the easier path is the way to go?

Those kids need ME
The FULL me
I am their teacher
They are mine and I am theirs
They deserve the best me
That is the one that will push them to their full potential

Higher vibration
Lower vibrations surround me all the time,
pulling me down to a minimal function

Higher vibration
Imma seek out that higher vibration


Resilience.
This human life is all about connection, resilience, and coping to me.

Connection.
Resilience.
Coping.

"Work for a cause, not for applause. Live life to express, not impress. Don't strive to make your presence noticed, just make your absence felt."
~Unknown

The fear of failure or failure itself is nothing compared to the bleak future of not growing, not stretching, and not going after my dreams.

One of the loves of my life.

“The things you own end up owning you. It’s only after you lose everything that you’re free to do anything.” ~Chuck Palahniuk

On a self-love journey. We have that moment we wake up.

Emmons also strongly recommends a variety of stress management techniques, such as learning meditation to self-regulate thoughts, called mindfulness.

“People with recurring depression tend to get triggered very quickly -- almost like a track is laid down, a slippery slope,” he says. “It pays to put some real effort into learning to recognize this immediately and to learn ways to steady yourself.”

I love my friends neither with
my heart nor with my mind.
Just in case heart might stop, Mind can forget.
I love them with my soul.
Soul never stops or forgets.

3 Ways We Sabotage Ourselves + How To Stop

Most of us feel stuck at one time or another. Life isn't looking like the picture we had in our head, things aren't flowing, and frustration and despair set in.

Of course, this only compounds the problem, because when you're feeling listless, discouraged and depressed, it's very hard to get motivated. Feeling paralyzed is awful, and doubting your ability to live a life that feels good can be a very isolating experience.

Here are three ways people tend to block themselves, along with three ways to drop-kick those blocks across your path so you can get moving again.

1. We compare ourselves to others.

Many people look around and feel "less than." They see a peer who somehow seems to be living a life where things come easily, and they wonder why they aren't getting the breaks. Or they elevate other people and think, I could never do that because I'm not as outgoing, or attractive, or [fill-in-the-blank].

We live in interesting times where much of our interaction takes place over the internet. It's easy to feel like everyone else has this glossy, perfect life when you base it on status updates, pithy tweets or hazy Instagram pictures. Everyone suffers and everyone struggles. Most people just don't post about it. I'm questioning my ability to have an impact on the world around me. or I'm wondering what I'm doing here. or I feel alone in a world that doesn't make sense to me.

Most people are not going to post that.

The more we focus on what other people are doing or having or being, the less energy we have to shine. And I'm not suggesting you should feel better because everyone else feels confused, too. I'm saying life is so much about what we do with what we're given. Your power lies in your response. And you can respond with fear and tell yourself you don't measure up, or you can respond with love and direct your energy toward uncovering and sharing your own particular gifts.

If you're having a rough day, that isn't the time to troll Facebook, because you'll probably end up feeling worse. Think about what you're feeding yourself, and I don't just mean your body. Think about what you're feeding your mind and your heart, too. Everything we take in is food, it's fuel, it's energy. Feed yourself the stuff that strengthens you.

2. We live with a harsh inner dialogue.

I know many people who quit before they try. They ask themselves, Who am I to...? But the real question is, Who are you NOT to...?

It's important to remember there are roughly seven billion people on the planet at this point, and only one YOU. You're made up of about 100 trillion cells that have never come together in exactly the same way before, and won't again. You have a particular song to sing, and if you don't belt it out, that's a song the world never gets to hear.

If you're doubting whether or not you have something meaningful to offer, consider that no one but you has had your experiences, your memories, your ideas, your fears or your dreams. You have a unique perspective, although the themes of your life are likely to be universal. You never know how you might shine a light for someone else simply by sharing what's in your heart. And the joy in this life comes through connection, through giving and opening and accepting. Feed a loving voice. Feed a voice you want to hang out with, and starve the voice that asks you "who you are" to do anything.

3. We procrastinate.

Many people have dreams and ideas and the pull to follow their hearts, but the effort to follow through on this can feel so daunting. The idea that things will have to change can also create a lot of fear. If you're trying to make a huge shift in your life, small steps get the job done. If you look at the whole task, you're likely to feel defeated before you begin.

You have an inner "yes" that you can trust. If that yes is pulling on you, it's pointless to resist, because what you're opposing is a life that's going to feel good to you. Just do one small thing, take one positive step.

And keep putting one foot in front of the other. You don't have to make it all happen today. But try to make something happen. That's how you start to trust yourself and build the confidence required to make those big changes when you must. You watch yourself following that inner GPS, and you realize you can act on your own behalf, and that it feels right and good.

"Stand up to your obstacles and do something about them. You will find that they haven't half the strength you think they have." ~Norman Vincent Peale

4 Ways to Fulfill Your Needs While Helping Others

“We can never obtain peace in the outer world until we make peace with ourselves.” ~Dalai Lama

These are four methods I use to address and fulfill my own needs on a daily basis.

1. Admit when you need a break.

So often we push ourselves far beyond our mental and physical limits. This is often for a worthy cause, an important goal, or a valued relationship. Unfortunately, when we sacrifice our needs to keep working or giving and “push through,” we frequently sacrifice the quality of what we are doing as well.

If I have a week full of deadlines or commitments, I will often award myself a timeout. That might mean taking an evening off and just watching TV, curling up with a book, taking a leisurely walk with the dog, or maybe even taking a much-needed nap.

Taking a break can renew your energy and allows you to tackle projects with improved productivity and new perspectives.

2. Commit to yourself.

Smartphones and other technologies have made it even easier to over-commit our time and resources. Without even trying, I used to fill my week with coffee dates, book clubs, volunteering, and other appointments. With my life planned out by the hour, time with my family and to myself became things I had to “fit in.”

Recently, I made a commitment to reduce social outings and plan “me time” into my schedule. Now I am shocked at all the things I have time to do that I was missing before! Make two or three commitments to yourself throughout the week that help fulfill your own needs; take a yoga class, make time to read for fun, or cook a special, healthy meal.

Don’t just pencil in me time, write it in permanent marker! Be sure to honor commitments to yourself the same way you would keep plans with a friend. When we respect our own time and our own needs, it allows us the capacity to do the same for others.

3. Reevaluate your external commitments.

Make sure you are committed to something or someone because of genuine compassion or interest rather than a sense of obligation.

After reevaluating all your commitments to causes, events, or relationships, you might find that some of them do not align with your values. Continuing to give your time and energy when your heart isn’t truly engaged does you and the person or cause you are involved with a disservice.

My instinct whenever someone invites me to an event or asks for my participation is to say “yes” before evaluating how that request fits with my own values and needs. Now I try to take a moment, maybe even a few days, to consider whether I have the physical and mental capacity to truly commit to something.

Spending my time with people whose company I value, or doing work that I believe makes a difference allows me to fulfill my own needs while also connecting with and helping others.

4. Communicate your needs to others.

If a friend told you she couldn’t participate in your fundraiser because she was overwhelmed with other commitments, would you make her feel bad? Chances are you would tell her, “No worries! I understand.” Allow yourself the same courtesy and understanding.

Address your needs with others respectfully, but directly. If someone asks you to commit to something that conflicts with your needs, explain honestly why you can’t: “I’ve been tired all week so tonight I need to stay home and go to bed early,” or “I spent a lot last week so I need to save money; could we have coffee instead of dinner?”

–

I often hear people say “I just don’t have the time…” to exercise, take a day off from work, or explore something they’re genuinely interested in. The truth is, without making a commitment to acknowledge and acquire what you need, you will never have the time.

When you feel too overwhelmed to make time for yourself, remember that the help you can offer others will be limited if you neglect to fulfill your own needs as well.

Seek understanding.

“When you plant lettuce, if it does not grow well, you don't blame the lettuce. You look for reasons it is not doing well. It may need fertilizer, or more water, or less sun. You never blame the lettuce. Yet if we have problems with our friends or family, we blame the other person. But if we know how to take care of them, they will grow well, like the lettuce. Blaming has no positive effect at all, nor does trying to persuade using reason and argument. That is my experience. No blame, no reasoning, no argument, just understanding. If you understand, and you show that you understand, you can love, and the situation will change”

― Thích Nhất Hạnh

Our emotions should serve not hinder us.

"In this sense, there are no unwholesome or negative emotions — only unwholesome or negative things we do with them."

"Without emotional intimacy, relationships founder on the reefs of emotional discord or flatness—no matter how heated the sex, no matter how much we hold in common — leaving us marooned from the interpersonal closeness for which we yearn.

All too easily, we may simply act out our unresolved wounds and mishandled needs through our emotional expression or lack thereof, while remaining unaware of what we are doing! Such re-acting keeps our relationships in the shallows, cut off from the emotional depth and resonance needed for genuine intimacy.

When we wake up to this and begin doing what it takes to develop and deepen emotional intimacy, our relationships start to become less of a battlefield or flatland and more of a sacred sanctuary, providing an optimal environment for deep healing and transformation."

http://www.mindbodygreen.com/0-10918/what-is-emotional-intimacy-why-should-we-care.html

Developing non-problematic orientations with ________________.

"Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus."

~Philippians 4:6-7

Big Mistake.
"Mistakes are the portals of discovery."
~James Joyce

So, this past week I made a mess. I made a pretty big mistake. And, initially I started beating myself up. Berating myself... Yes, I'm human too. And, after I allowed myself to sit in the muck and really feel shitty for a bit, I brushed myself off and looked at all the amazing lessons I learned. In fact, if I hadn't made such a mess NOW, there's a chance I would have made an even bigger mess down the road... So, I'm choosing to be grateful. To be thankful for the learning, the discovery. It's a refreshing shift... and feels a hell-of-a lot better than beating myself up. Afterall, pencils have erasers for a reason. We all make a mess from time to time. You clean it up. Handle yourself with grace. And, learn your lessons.

Soul tribe

Get real.
"As we grow up, we realize it is less important to have lots of friends, and more important to have real ones."
~Amanda McRae

So, no shit, right? I think that many of us "get" this cognitively, but just take a sec to survey your friendship landscape How REAL is the tribe around you? Do your best buds call your ass out, defend your best life, and give to you the same way you give to them? It's more than just years of history or having a good time together... it's about having peeps in your corner. No matter what. That get you. That support you. And your biggest life. So... if you are thinking of someone right now who IS that constant positive force in your life, take the time to TELL them today. And if you don't, start thinking about the soul sisters and brothers you want to attract into your orbit. Be conscious and you will create whatever support you need. Go get 'em.

13 days passed

Wow, I haven't written in that long! And it's not because I did it all intentionally. I have also been limited by no internet at my apartment and busyness at work! It's been great to just let things happen and settle on their own, without much need for writing. It's like seeing something a new light. Like a leaf is turning.

Here I am. At my classroom in Detroit, sittin with one foot kicked up at my desk at 8:30 pm. Gots things to get done. Gotta get this place together.

Anyway, here is what I wanted to post today. Many hugs!


"If what you are doing is NOT moving you towards your goals, then it's moving you AWAY from them ."
~Brian Tracy

We don't usually think about our goals on terms like this, do we? So, take a minute... Look around you... that "thing" you are dying for: the career shift, the relationship, the kids, whatever... what are you DOING and BEING in order to call that into your existence? And, more importantly, is there anything you are hanging on to that is actually repelling those things from happening? Sometimes, its not about our action toward a goal, it's about all the clutter we keep in our lives that messes up our vibration. (Or... f* with our frequency, as I like to irreverently put it.) So, check yourself and make sure BOTH are happening: action toward your greatest goal/desire AND elimination (even if gradual) of anything NOT moving you towards that goal. Why not set yourself up for success? Clean up the stuff that doesn't serve you and CREATE what does. You got this.

Consciously choose your soul tribe.

The moment I realized he never really loved me.

Just an experience with my mind, body, and soul.

Thank you for visiting Planet JB. I hope you enjoyed the ride.

5 Simple Ways to Respond to Negative People

Many of the most valuable lessons I have learned have come from people I most definitely do not want to be like. You know the type.

For example, I have a family member who is the embodiment of cynicism, doom and gloom. He rarely has anything positive to say and his dark jokes revolve around someone else’s misfortune.

Whenever asked, "How’s it going?" he details his latest job woes in a manner that reflects his view that the world is out to get him. He can also talk for hours about his dark conspiracy theories.

Being around him can be draining, to say the least. Most family members suffer in silent resignation, head for another room, or step out into the garden for some fresh air to get away.

I often do the same. At other times, I feel compassion and attempt to share the benefits of seeing life from a more elevated perspective while also hinting at the importance of taking ownership of one's shadow.

There are also times when, if I am not careful, I find myself getting drawn into the gravitational pull of his dark energy. When this happens, he unloads his grievances and walks away with a light spring in his step while I am left feeling like I need a shower.

In other words: this man is a fantastic ally. He has taught me incredible lessons about where and why I allow myself to be pulled off center and out of my heart. Through him, I have woken up to when this happens.

As a form of protection, I have created an internal checklist to respond to people both at work and at home who are negative or stuck in a dark mood. The checklist goes like this:

1. What does this person need?

Is there a chance that a positive input is being sought? If the answer is yes, then share something to lift the mood. If the answer is no, keep the interaction brief and walk away.

2. Are they acting as a mirror?

The answer is yes if we are being sucked in. When there is a pull, there is a resonance. Someone or something "out there" shows us where we are resisting the flow of life. When this is the case, we can breathe in deeply and accept what is.

3. This too will pass.

While we can offer compassion and point to other alternatives, we are not responsible. Suffering is a choice. When we maintain our state, we are part of the solution rather than adding to the illusion. In this way, we create space for an opening of awareness to happen, which is more than enough.

4. Avoidance is O.K.

We can protect and safeguard the sanctity of our internal state by making sure we are with people who nurture us. On other occasions, when we have no alternative as a consequence of work or family obligations, we can remain upbeat and keep turning every negative comment into a positive. Do it for long enough and it works wonders. If the other person cannot get you on his or her negative side, they will eventually give up.

5. Love really is the answer.

Everything always comes down to love. If we love and respect ourselves, we do not give ourselves away so cheaply. We do not come down from our state. We do not concede who we are for the sake of someone’s need to off-load. We can listen with love. We only get dumped on when we allow ourselves to become part of the drama.

**

The next time that person comes your way, be grateful. No matter how mean, dark-spirited or negative they may be, they are here to teach us how to love, honor and respect who we are and what we have to offer the world.

I would say that is an invaluable gift wouldn’t you?

http://www.mindbodygreen.com/0-6472/5-Simple-Ways-to-Respond-to-Negative-People.html

5 Tips to Stay Inspired

1. Carry A Journal. No matter where I am or what I am doing I will have a little journal with me. It's in my purse, it's beside my bed... It's everywhere. Just carrying the journal is my constant reminder to write down ideas. Now, I don't use all the ideas I write down. For me, the act of jotting down ideas helps keep me in a creative mindset. The more ideas I write down, the more I have... and the better they become!

2. Find A New Muse. Oh my... the concept of a muse is so silly to me, but it really works! My current muse(s) can be anything from a band I'm loving to a movie that stuck with me or a vintage trend I want to re-create. A muse can be absolutely anything, but it's fun to find one with enough history to keep you studying for a while. The more you learn about your muse, the more inspiration you'll receive.

3. Develop A Creative Playlist. Several years ago I started painting on a daily basis. I had a favorite album at the time that I would play when I was working. Pretty soon I could only listen to that band when working... if it came on while I was driving it felt weird. I learned the value in having some comfort music to get me into work mode. This is especially valuable for people who work from home. Sometimes you need something to mentally put you into a creative state of mind and a playlist can most definiately do that for you! I like to have a different playlist (or favorite album) for every major creative season or project that I work on. These songs will bring back wonderful memories later on... trust me.

4. Refresh Your Workspace. This next one works wonders for me! One day I'm painting, the next day designing dresses and then working on a new art journal course the next... All of these different projects can make a studio VERY messy and that can cause stress.

My favorite thing to do when I need a pick me up is to rearrange just one little part of my studio. You don't have to clean or reorganize the entire space, but clear a table and arrange your supplies so that you have a fresh spot to work. If you need some extra happiness in your space grab a pretty bouquet of flowers from the grocery store or take a few hours to create a new inspiration wall. Refreshing your workspace can work wonders!

5. Prove Yourself Wrong! We've all been guilty of saying things like "I would love to, but I don't have time" or "I could never do that". These attitudes are so common, but they probably aren't even true. I know it sounds a little cliché, but if you believe you can do something... you can! It's a magical feeling to set a goal that feels a little bit impossible and then achieve it. I've marked quite a few things off my list that I used to believe I couldn't do. Proving yourself wrong is a great way to stay inspired because you'll be more motivated than ever when you meet your goal.

I hope these 5 Tips resonate with you. I love being inspired and want you to share the joy! Hope you have a wonderful weekend! elsie

http://abeautifulmess.typepad.com/my_weblog/2011/09/5-tips-for-staying-inspired.html

With the blood of my parents in me, I will overcome all adversity.

Love you mom and pop.

Be Social About Your Gratitude Practice

Our relationships with others are the greatest determinant of our happiness. So it makes sense to think of other people as we build our gratitude. Robert Emmons suggests that focusing our gratitude on people for whom we’re thankful rather than circumstances or material items will enhance the benefits we experience. And while you’re at it, why not include others directly into your expression of gratitude? One Happify activity involves writing a gratitude letter to someone who had an impact on you whom you’ve never properly thanked. You could also share the day’s grateful moments around the dinner table. The conversations that follow may give you even more reasons to give thanks.

http://www.happify.com/public-site/articles/the-science-behind-gratitude

Love.Healing.Hope.

Explore. Dream. Discover.
"Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things you didn't do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade wind in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover."
~Mark Twain

Ok, so I'm diggin' Marky Mark here. We spend so much time wallowing in fear, which in turn, keeps us paralyzed. So what if you fall on your face? So what if you make a mess? At least you'll know that you tried. You won't ever look back and say, "Yep. Fear won." How liberating, right? So, what are the things you need to really go after? In twenty years time, what do you want to say about the life you lived? How you showed up? How you addressed your fear? Yeah. So, act like it. Today.

horoscope

ARIES: March 21 – April 20

Lots of things are converging all at once. You feel good enough about it to be there for it, in a much different way than you've gone about things in the past. If you could look down on your life from a bird's eye view you would see this as a period of change where all of the issues and problems from the past finally came to be resolved and understood. As intense as this feels you need to know that it goes with the territory any time we begin to get to the crux of the issue. Hang in there my friend; this is one huge test and it ain't over. You haven't seen anything yet.

"As we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same"

"You are beautiful because you had the courage to get out of bed and face all your day brought, even the challenges."

"Pain is one of life’s greatest catalysts. It can make you or can break you.
Although pain is not lessened by others feeling and sharing yours, there is a measure of comfort in being wrapped up in others’ concern. It can help you find strength and it can provide guidance and support as you try to get through each day."


http://www.newdaynewlesson.com/feeling-for-others-is-what-makes-humanity-great/

"Every adversity is the impetus for growth and for learning things about yourself. Things that you would never have dreamed possible."

Self-esteem made simple

"By listing the values that are most important in my life at any given time, I am choosing to focus on them and work on them."

The more important our values, the more they will affect our self-esteem.

Sometimes we have values that clash, not because they’re opposites of each other, but because we can’t honor both at once.

For example, family and work are two of my values, and I find myself working more and having less time for my family. My family wants my attention and pulls at me. I want to feel fulfilled through work and career and that pulls at me.

The more my work value is being fulfilled, the more integrity I have with regard to that value. On the other hand, I am not living my family value with as much integrity as I would like to. When there’s a rift between how you’d like to honor a value, it leads to a loss of integrity.

That loss of integrity is the cause of lowered self-esteem.

If you have low self-esteem, that means you need to go back to your values and reassess how you can rearrange your life to feel like you are living with integrity based on what matters to you.

Integrity is built from a pattern of small and consistent actions. Little changes can indeed build into big changes. One step at a time, a little bit each time, really does work magic.

How Can I Work On Living My Values With Integrity?

Know your values.
Keep your values at the center of your awareness. Know when you have an internal conflict between values.
Walk the talk. Try to make sure you have integration between your values and actions.
Learn how to give things up. Ask yourself, “What am I really willing to sacrifice?” If you want to start a new career, maybe you need to learn to let other things go. And if you do decide to give things up, do it without feeling bad about it or feeling guilty. It is a decision.
See yourself as a unique person who has many resources.
Use the words: “I choose to_______” instead of helpless phrases like “I can’t because_________” or “I am like this because of_________”. You have a choice. You decide the circumstances.
Listen to the voices in your head which give you a litany of excuses why you can’t do something. Those voices don’t want change. They want to keep the status quo. Evict them.
Be authentic and be assertive. If you don’t want to do something, say you don’t want to do it.
Don’t beat around the bush. If something is important, go for it.
Visualize and plan. Know what you want and plan for it.
Self esteem is like a bank account. When you live your values with integrity, you are making deposits into the bank of self esteem. We can be rich or poor. We are the ones who decide how many deposits we make.

my friend

Change only comes with demand
Hope, tension, resistance and struggle are key

Steve Honeyman

How often have you found changing something in your life to be difficult or impossible?
And before you can even want personal change, there must be some level of admission
that you are responsible for your present reality. You then need to have hope for something
better and be willing to demand change in yourself. To accept that tension and resistance and
struggle are essential components of change.

I experienced all of these stages when I stopped smoking some 13 years ago or in my never-
ending battle to live a healthier life, and still have fun. These stages of change are true for our
personal lives and also true in communities and our country and the world. It is all a part of the
physical laws of the universe. You try to move a heavy object and you feel the resistance in your
body. You try to change a way of doing or being in your life and you feel resistance, sometimes
in the form of fear, in your head and your heart. You try to change government to care about
children or treat people with disabilities with support and respect and you encounter resistance.

The key is an understanding, an appreciation of power in your personal life as well as in the
public and private sectors of our communities. Frederick Douglass, Abolitionist and Leader,
says it best..

“Power concedes nothing without demand. It never did and it never will…The limits of tyrants
are prescribed by the endurance of those who they oppress.” In our personal lives, we are
often our own tyrants. In our communities, the tyrants can be government or business
or those who promote only ego or greed.

In a recent campaign for early childhood education in Philadelphia, the resistance came in
the form of a claim that there were no resources available. The Philadelphia School District
chose to save money on the backs of our youngest children. The resistance came from city
government recognizing the importance of quality, early childhood education and but not being
willing to put their actions behind their words. The resistance came from the egos of those who
were more worried about who would get credit. But, once the community group promoting this
change made their demands known, the process of shifting power began. It was not easy; it never
is. People wanted to give up. At first, city government said no. But, as the demand grew, change
was on the horizon.

And so it is in fighting for better housing, in pushing for immigration reform, in trying to win
more resources for public education, in making sure we eliminate hunger, in really bridging the
digital divide. Past, present and future struggles always, are one in the same. Again, Frederick
Douglass is most eloquent…

“If there is no struggle, there is no progress. Those who profess to favor freedom, and yet depreciate
agitation, are men who want crops without plowing up the ground. They want rain without thunder
and lightning. They want the ocean without the awful roar of its many waters. This struggle may be a
moral one; or it may be a physical one; or it may be both moral and physical; but it must be a
struggle.”

Struggle for personal change and public change begins with hope and demand.

A place for negativity.
"Life is like photography. We develop from the negatives."
~Unknown

Ah, man. I just fell in love with this one, the moment I saw it. How's this for a perspective shift: What if that horrible thing you are going through right now or that awful person you can't stand... what if all that negativity is meant for your DEVELOPMENT. Meant to really teach you something? Make you stronger? You may not know what it is yet. It may take some time. But, if you find yourself stuck in a murky place, start toying with the idea that you WILL be a stronger person because of it. What if you start looking for the lesson instead of focusing on how shitty it is? Or better yet, what if you start CHOOSING that this will not define you. Not destroy you. And CHOOSING that you WILL overcome. You're move, ace.

"You can meditate on a person, and if you have enough mindfulness and concentration, you can make a breakthrough and understand the nature of that person."

Sometimes you give all you can give to a person and you get very little directly in return. But you got a mirror to the beauty of yourself, the strength of your love, and the light of your soul. And that is really one of the greatest gifts anyone can give to another. Be grateful for how the past has made you you and move forward.

The primary cause of unhappiness is never the situation but thought about it. Be aware of the thoughts you are thinking.

-Eckhart Tolle

What Matters Is the Choice You Make Right Now

Those changes are the result of changing my inner monologue from, “Why did I make such bad choices?” to “What’s the best choice I can make now?”

The biggest difference between me now and me then is that I no longer sit alone in shame, compounding negative feelings with self-judgment, which only keeps me feeling stuck.

I accept that I am human, and that a part of that is going through highs and lows. I know I will go through tough times, and I know I can bounce back when I do, even if it takes a while.

I have learned that we are not powerless. It may not always seem like it, but we have a say in what happens—and when events seem beyond our control, we have a say in how we respond to them.

That’s all we can ever control, and that’s what really matters: the choice we make right now.

Making Friends When You’re Afraid People Won’t Understand You

There are a few things I remind myself to get out of this rut.

The more I get to know myself, the more I can predict my tendencies and practice self-care.
The more honest I am with others, the more honesty I am inviting from them, and the more likely I can help set the tone for intimacy.
The more people I come to contact with, the more likely I will come across individuals who might be healthier for me and be in a place to work with me.
The more people I come across, the more practice I will have in learning understanding, self-control, and compassion.
The more I obsess about making a mistake with a new person, the more likely I will.
Therefore, despite my failed friendships and relationships, I have strong conviction that the strongest relationships are those with deep commitment—and that the first and strongest relationship should be that which is with yourself.

I have committed to not let past fears and rejection hold me back. This commitment is a type of freedom in itself, and a small model of what I can aspire to in relationships with others.

Have you ever felt limited by the fear that others won’t understand you? What’s helped you overcome it?

Opening Up to the Possibility of Love: 3 Things to Remember

1. Stay present and stay you.

During our conversation, I felt this urgent need to run and hide from the emotion building inside me. I felt like I wanted to crawl back inside my shell and disengage from the desire to open up completely to him.

We were obviously attracted to one another, but the old voices of fear of rejection and fear of not being good enough crept back into my head. I realized that I had gone through that when I was learning how to love and accept myself.

I had all of the preconceived notions of who I was or should be, and had to demystify all of that and realize that I am enough just the way I am. As is.

I had to continuously get myself back to my center, to focus on the present moment and trust in the process of being my authentic self, knowing that the person who was supposed to cross my path, would.

2. Live openly and honestly and speak from your heart.

As I learned to accept myself, I found that speaking from my heart became easier. It’s not that we deliberately try to deceive others, but we often do a good job of deceiving ourselves.

Trying to stop emotion and put up your defenses won’t do anyone any good. It may protect you in the short term, but you are the only one who will be harmed in the end. It will be you who misses out on true happiness and joy.

Things may not always turn out the way you envisioned, but there is no defeat in living with pure intention.

3. Go all in and accept that it may fail.

Part of discovering myself again was learning as I went along. But unlike times before when I was harsh and self-defeating when I made a misstep, I was kind with myself. I gave myself some encouragement, the benefit of the doubt, and got back up and continued the best I could.

When I finally trusted myself and accepted myself fully, I was able to mess up completely, yet be okay with it, because I knew I was doing my best and had set out with good intention.

In the same manner, I had to realize that I am not perfect and neither is my partner. Showing compassion when there is a misstep is what will make the bonds stronger. That is how I needed to view Rob and our budding relationship.

We had established similar core beliefs and journeys and now I had to trust in that as being the foundation for whatever was ahead of us.

If that meant faltering and deciding we were not as compatible as we first believed, then so be it. I couldn’t be disappointed if I gave it my all and at least attempted something amazing.

The phone call ended with me bumbling through my feelings pretty inefficiently. And wouldn’t you know it, he reciprocated and expressed relief about me bringing it up. He too felt like we had a connection and had great interest in pursuing it.

If there is one thing I could leave you with it would be this: Don’t harden yourself to that pure emotion. Open up and welcome it in. Let it flow through you. Let the tears well up in your eyes and say the things your heart whispers. The person who is meant to hear those words will.

5 Ways To Embrace Ending Friendships and Relationships

“Celebrate endings, for they precede new beginnings.” ~Jonathan Lockwood Huie

I believe people are brought together for each person’s maximum spiritual growth. When the growth is done, it’s time to move on.

That spiritual growth could take two minutes, two weeks, two months, two years, or a lifetime. Either way, when the time comes, the most powerful thing we can do is allow ourselves to move on and trust that everything is happening exactly as it should.

Sometimes outside circumstances seemingly force our relationships to shift and move apart; other times it’s a decision you consciously make to walk away. However it happens, below are some ways you can move through changing relationships in the most positive and powerful way possible:

1. Don’t be afraid.

As you learn and grow, so do your friendships and relationships. I really noticed this when I started committing to a spiritual practice everyday. My circle of friends completely shifted. This is nothing to fear.

It’s not a “good” or “bad’ thing, but it’s important to understand that throughout our lives, people are going to fall away. And who knows, they might be back, but all you do know now is that you’ve learned all that you can from each other at this time.

When relationships and/or friendships end or shift, there is nothing to fear. Whether or not you realize it, everything always works out the way it’s meant to.

2. Take responsibility.

If the break-up was messy, or the friendship ended in a not so positive way, take responsibility for it. When you get to the point where you no longer blame someone else for how you feel, miraculous shifts occur.

I often turn to my inner guide, the voice for love within me, and ask, “What is the spiritual lesson here?” Your power is always hidden behind the people and circumstance that disturb you the most.

As some of my recent friendships evolved and fell away, I’ve discovered areas within myself that needed to be healed. The purpose of the relationship or the friendship was to show me those areas. Relationships can be amazing tools that catapult us to another level of peace and love.

3. Trust that you always have everyone you need.

This tiny idea can bring massive amounts of peace to your day. What if you woke up every morning knowing that every person you needed that day would be brought to you?

I try and start my day with this idea because I immediately stop trying to control my reality, and instead, trust in my inner guidance a whole lot more.

There is no one missing from this moment whom you need right now. If you’re sitting in a chair with no other bodies around, that’s because in this moment, your soul does not need anyone else to learn from.

4. Get ready for new friendships and relationships.

When you create the space for friendships and relationships that are not working to fall away, get ready, because new people who are more in-line with what your soul most needs to learn are on their way! This only becomes a fearful process when you forget that you’re always guided and that everything happens for you, not to you.

5. Release your guilt.

As I got more and more committed to praying, connecting to my true self, and meditating, I felt deep in my heart it was time for me to make some shifts in my outer world. That decision involved moving across the entire country, far away from family and all my friends.

At first, a few of my close friends couldn’t understand why I was leaving, and for a brief moment I felt guilty about it. But I had to follow my path and trust that new people and experiences were on their way.

Other people may not understand why you’re making the decision to move on, but that doesn’t matter. You can’t control what other people think. Always trust your heart and never feel guilty for it.

No matter what, remember that every encounter is holy. Every person is a reflection of you. As you change, move, and grow, the reflections around you also change. Embrace them!

There is no need to fearfully cling to relationships and friendships that are not working anymore. Rather, get excited about the new ones that are surely on their way. All changes are helpful.

life purpose

“Don’t take life too seriously. You’ll never get out alive.” ~Elbert Hubbard

So I made it my mission to not take life so seriously and to learn to be present each day in order to find happiness within myself and for my new life. These were my daily mantras:

1. Give yourself some credit.

I took a big risk when I quit my job. I took an even bigger risk moving to an island. Rather than being down on myself for not having a career at the moment or not feeling like my life has a purpose, I give myself credit for the little things: learning Spanish a bit more, attempting to surf, taking pilates each week at a local studio, meeting new people.

When you are focusing on what you see as bad things, you are preventing the good from shining through.

Don’t be so hard on yourself. Take ten minutes of meditation time each day and thank yourself for it afterward. Get up early and make a healthy breakfast. Talk to someone new in line at the coffee shop. Notice the little things you are already doing each day for yourself.

2. Stop thinking so much.

Think of nothing for two whole minutes. Clear your mind. Don’t put effort into thinking about things that haven’t happened yet. It will just cause you worry. It’s too much for one little mind and it’s a waste of your time and energy.

I still catch myself in a whirlwind of thoughts each day and every time this happens, I stop, I take three deep breaths, I think about something positive, and I smile. There is always a reason to smile and less of a reason to worry.

3. It’s okay to take a break.

My family asked me why I was wasting a college degree and why I spent my 401k to move to an island. I didn’t have a straight answer for them, but I did know that I worked harder than I ever had for six years of my life, for almost twelve hours each day and put up with a lack of appreciation for what I did.

So it was okay if I took some time to do nothing. You don’t have to be achieving scientific discovery every day. It’s okay to take time to simply be and to experience life.

4. You don’t have to find your life purpose tomorrow.

I used to hate the saying “find what you love and go do it.” As if it’s so easy. But each day, don’t be afraid to attempt something new. In Puerto Rico, I have learned that I actually like oysters. I love being in the water. I am more creative than I thought I could be.

I still haven’t found what I love in life or what my “purpose” is, but trying is the only way to find it.

http://tinybuddha.com/blog/when-you-dont-have-a-clear-purpose-4-helpful-mantras/

Wherever you go in your day—to the grocery store or to a new city, to a friend’s home or a different room of the house—be grateful that you will never escape yourself.

Be grateful that you have this lifetime to learn to love and accept yourself.

In a world so full of travel and movement, it is important we take a moment to pause and reflect on the sacredness of stillness and quietude within ourselves.

It is my wish that we can all sit comfortably in a chair someday as we soften in body and in heart, full of gray hairs and wrinkles—that we may smile widely from each memory contributing to our wear and know we really have nowhere to go.

Everything we need has been inside us from the start.

17 Ways To Lose Weight Without Changing Your Schedule

The more you know about what your body really wants, the more likely you are to find a healthy alternative and feel satisfied.

http://www.buzzfeed.com/mackenziekruvant/17-ways-to-lose-weight-without-changing-your-schedule

7/16/13

Feeling absolutely amazing inside and out after a run along the lake. TFA Day meant we got off 1.5 hours early which was a surprise and is such a treat. To feel like I'm in a good place at 7:32 pm.

My kids are really being absorbed into my skin. I love those beauties. Their words and faces replay. How much progress we have made! Gosh, babies, I am going to miss you so.

Love,
Happily, steadily, confidently, vibrantly,

Heart and soul,
Jess

7/15/13

"who you are [doesn't guarantee] anything important about what you choose to mean in the context of others' lives."

7/15/13

"who you are [doesn't guarantee] anything important about what you choose to mean in the context of others' lives."

"who you are [doesn't guarantee] anything important about what you choose to mean in the context of others' lives."

"who you are [doesn't guarantee] anything important about what you choose to mean in the context of others' lives."

"Justice is not an act of wish fulfillment but the product of resistance."

Critics choice.
"If you can't be criticized for it, it's probably not remarkable. Are you devoting yourself to something devoid of criticism?"
~Unknown

We spend so much effort worrying about pleasing everyone else... making sure we don't rock the boat... Catering to everyone else's opinion. But, what is the trade off? Not following one's own heart? Intuition? Speaking/living your truth? So what if people don't "get" you... they don't "get" your choices or decisions. Oh, well. You'll live. Let them criticize. Let them scoff. Because, at the end of the day, you've been REMARKABLE. And not for them. For you.

Sometimes people will never understand you. And that's okay. They can read their own story they've created of you. You just keep being YOU. It's beautiful.

5 tips to break through creative blocks

Here are some of my tried and true ways to break through that creative block.

1. My first tip may seem counterintuitive but I can assure you it is the most important tip of all. When you hit a creative block accept it. It is part of the process. I’ve done a lot of research and have yet to find a creative person that doesn’t encounter a block here and there. You’re not only going to accept it, you’re going to lean into it. By leaning into it I mean sit back take a deep breathe and see it as a part of the whole creative process picture. By doing this you are not focusing on the block as something that is stopping you. You are focusing on the block as an integral part of the larger creative process.

2. Reread or look through what you were working on and hold some of the big ideas you were working on in your mind. Then, walk away from your desk and do something that does not require fixed thought. Take a walk, garden, mow the lawn, take a shower or just vegetate for a while. This gives your mind a chance to sort through things beneath your awareness while you are focused on the mindless task. This almost seems like a magic pill and has worked for me many times.

3. Tinker. Play around with it. And by it I mean the idea or the problem you’re having trouble connecting to the next step. Even when we are “engaged in the creative process” it can become mundane after a while and our way of approaching it can become habitual. Now this can both feed the process or block it. If you find that you are stuck in a habit when you’re creating. Try setting up or changing your work space. Add music to the scenario if you don’t normally listen to music when you create.

4. Breathe. When I’m blocked or frustrated my energy wanes. I feel like someone has let all the air out of my balloon. This is what makes encountering a block so counter productive. The depletion of energy and the feeling of being stuck is the thing that is most likely going to keep you blocked. This is why I will try to engage in an activity that restores my energy. I like Tai chi because after a few minutes I feel reconnected to my life force “chi” which will help me move past the block.

5. My last tip is for those of you who continue to struggle with tapping into creativity. Go and write anything for 5 minutes. Or grab a piece of paper and doodle for 5 minutes. Just let yourself explore and don’t judge. Creativity is a muscle like any other and it needs to be exercised. The best way to exercise it is to take action. None of our creative projects start off as masterpieces. Each time you engage in the process you’re building your creative muscle. After many years of being disconnected from creativity, I started exercising my creative muscle by painting furniture. Little did I know that would lead me on a creative journey to the rainbow framework.

So dive into the yellow realm and express your creative side and when those blocks pop up know that they are only a temporary part of the creative process.

- See more at: http://rainbowframework.com/5-tips-to-break-through-the-creative-blocks/#sthash.EsD4TKdL.dpuf

10 Ways to Enjoy More: What’s Your Guilty Pleasure?

10 Ways to Enjoy More: What’s Your Guilty Pleasure?


“Happiness consists of living each day as if it were the first day of your honeymoon and the last day of your vacation.” ~Leo Tolstoy

For as long as I can remember, I’ve had an epic list of guilty pleasures.

As a young girl, my top three guilty pleasures included dressing up and dancing in my living room to Madonna (“Annnnd…VOGUE!”), watching over-the-top nighttime dramas with my mom over bowls of Breyer’s vanilla ice cream (“Kevin…I’m pregnant! And you’re not the father!”), and penning addictive, soap-opera-worthy novellas about the kids in my fifth grade class (they’d line up and beg for the next chapter).

I found so much joy and fulfillment in those activities. And while I jokingly call them “guilty pleasures,” I never felt a single pang of remorse.

As a grown-up girl, my guilty pleasures follow a similar strain: booty-shaking hip-hop classes, binge-watching Game of Thrones, and eating anything with the words “chocolate” and “peanut butter” (or both).

Oh, and I’m penning a screenplay that’s one-part erotic paranormal romance, and one-part political thriller. (Obviously.)

Clearly, I’ve got a lifelong passion for guilty pleasures—and I’m fascinated by how our bodies respond to our favorite ones.

How our boundaries dissolve. How our curiosity ignites. How we find ourselves with an insatiable need to indulge (NOW!) before we explode with anticipation. (If you’re hopelessly addicted to any juicy TV series, you know what I’m talking about.)

Guilty pleasures are exhilarating, and there’s no denying that they bring oodles of fun to our lives.

So, why don’t we indulge in these pleasures more often?

I believe the word “guilty” may be the culprit. For some of us, it’s hard to even say the phrase “guilty pleasure” without feeling a prickle of shame.

And that semantic buzz kill needs a definition makeover.

I’ve decided to re-define the term “guilty pleasure” as something that ignites and electrifies you in a way that should be totally illegal, but isn’t. It’s something you should enjoy every day, with wild abandon. It doesn’t (necessarily) have to be unhealthy or calorie-laden, but it’s got to feel decadent.

Now that you have complete permission to pursue your most electrifying passions, here’s a peek at 10 ways you can make your whole life feel like one big guilty pleasure.

Go ahead—indulge.

1. Schedule daily guilty pleasure breaks.

No more guilt means no more excuses to avoid partaking in your favorite pleasures.

You now have full permission to take a break from work and read that enticing gossip blog, catch up on the latest season of your favorite show, or revel in a romance novel (or audio-book—who’s gonna know?) and savor it while pumping away on the elliptical machine.

2. Spice up boring to-dos.

Loathe folding laundry? Detest doing the dishes? Crying into Quicken? Crank up the music that makes you grin like a goofball (classic Justin Timberlake, anyone?) and shimmy while doing your chores. Even Gwyneth Paltrow rocks 90s hip hop while cooking her uber-healthy, organic meals.

3. Create guilty pleasure play dates.

Stuck in an “activity rut” with your significant other, family, and friends? Instead of dinner at “the usual place,” infuse your favorite guilty pleasures into your play dates. Get creative: host an at-home triathlon (video game competition, quickie card game, or a cupcake-eating contest!) or take a guided ghost tour of haunted historical buildings in your city. Spooky!

4. Just giggle.

Nothing lowers stress like a good chuckle. Create a giggle bank of hilarious YouTube videos (the boys from Saturday Night Live + T-Pain = win!), Awkward Family Photos, and hilarious blog posts (The Bloggess never fails). Get yourself in stitches, daily.

5. Try something brand new.

For an instant boost of pleasure and adrenaline, try something you’ve never done before, but always fantasized about. Channel your inner Gustav Klimt at a nude figure-drawing class (Dr. Sketchy’s Anti-Art School is always a delight!), find your local Ultimate Frisbee League, or try an aerial yoga class.

Give yourself permission, and enjoy every clumsy attempt. You may spark a new lifelong hobby!

6. Do a tedium detox.

This kind of “detox” isn’t about gulping kale-infused liquids. It’s about clearing out everything that’s tired, tedious, and boring.

Rummage through your closet and get rid of anything that doesn’t make you feel like a million bucks. Donate old books you’re never going to read, toss stale ingredients that hog your cabinets, and chuck dusty relics that make your home feel like a cluttered mess.

Once you cleanse the un-pleasurable, fill those spaces with items that delight and inspire. (Or, just leave some empty space. Ahhhh.)

7. Try on a new character.

Ever wish you were a Sherlock Holmes-worthy super spy? Or an adorkable hipster like Zooey Deschanel? A head-turning hunk, or traffic-stopping bombshell?

Instead of throwing on your usual “uniform” in the morning, try dressing like your alter-ago—and live out your day as this new character. This could mean a little harmless flirting with the local barista, strolling through the city in a bright sundress with a parasol, or jotting down secret notes as you observe passersby, at an outdoor cafe.

8. Make pampering a priority.

Ladies, remember how much fun it was to play with scented lotions, glittery nail polish, and cake-batter-flavored lip gloss when you were a tween?

Primping and pampering yourself is (still) absolutely essential. Bring back the joy with a quickie 10-minute scalp massage, a mini-pedicure, or a pre-bedtime back rub from your partner. To keep it simple, just take a few extra moments in the shower to lather up and let your mind wander. Completely cathartic.

9. Keep conversations centered on pleasure.

I once read—in a glossy magazine, of course—that the French find it rude to discuss work, religion, or politics at dinner parties, and focus their banter on movies, art, and music. Infuse every conversation with joie de vivre by asking, “So, what are your favorite guilty pleasures?”

You can enjoy a conversation with anyone if you shift the conversation to pleasure.

10. Build a guilty pleasure emergency kit.

If you suffer from excruciating headaches, you probably tote a mini-emergency kit around in your handbag or briefcase. Why not build a Guilty Pleasure Emergency Kit for a mood-boosting pick-me-up?

Put together a bundle of scintillating magazines, juicy novels, caramel-laced chocolate (or whatever floats your pleasure-boat) and label it “For Emergency Use Only.”

Of course, you may find yourself “inventing” a dire emergency (“What?! The post office is closed on Sundays?!”) just to give yourself a reason to indulge. And that’s just fine.

It’ll be our delicious little secret.

to be great you have to be willing to be misunderstood, genius is generally ahead of its time

"You gotta dream big for the little ones."

-one of my besties

BEAT or be beat.


resilience. Comes after a real talk with oneself.
Aligned focus.




These are messages to myself.

Do not be so quick to compromise your IDENTITY for a cause. It MUST align with your cause because you cannot escape yourself. You need to THRIVE to succeed, not just survive. Because aiming just for survival and getting things done as needed is really a slow death.

K.O.S. Always pushing forward. No settling for less. Holding myself to a high standard. Being the person I want to be. And being the person I want my kids to be like.



Thank you God for your presence. Thank you for music.



Genuine happiness.

Daily realizations
Tuning equations
All throughout the day
Feeling down
Sad
Crying
Triggered emotionally
Yeah,
it's a struggle right now
We are all in the struggle
But it's important to get a mind out of body experience
To take a step back
And realize that I CAN feel
That I have all these children to be better for
Since it's so hard just to do it for myself
Pursue happiness for myself
I must project my energy to do it for THEM
I'm so used to meaning so much to people
Feeling like my energy is wanted, needed, and cherished in this universe
I got so used to being the happy, positive one
The loving and inspiring one
And when I feel that's dead even if it's just a MISCONCEPTION,
I start to feel like I'm dying inside.

I think life is actually quite simple.
I think I just want to be needed
To love myself and BE MYSELF
To just "DO ME"
Not over-thinking
Just being -

FREE
PEACEFUL
HAPPY
LOVING

All of this is supposed to happen to me.
All of this is supposed to happen.

It will make me better.

Tue. 7/9/13

Constant work in progress with a present-minded radical acceptance and love of self.

Becoming a teacher. Hard work. haha

7/9/13

wake up wet in sweat
spots of water on my bed sheet
fell asleep in an air-conditioned room
woke up wet, moist from sweat
showered in the heat
returned to a cold room
went outside to a humid and hot atmosphere
got on the bus
took off jacket
sweat and heat coming out of the body
got into the school
air conditioned room.

Talked on the phone with JR today. Such beauty friendship brings. Esp in the midst of a new land, the brightness of a friend's love breaks through.

<3 love you

As luck
wouldn't have it.
"There is no chance, no destiny, no fate, that can hinder or control the firm resolve of a determined soul."
~Ella Wheeler Wilcox

It's not about how you were raised. What was handed to you and what wasn't. Doesn't matter what gods are in your favor. How your cards have been dealt. It's about one thing: Your DETERMINATION. Desire trumps social class. Determination trumps shallow pockets. In short, YOU and you alone get to determine your path. Whatever you desire and put your heart and soul into, you WILL achieve. Let go of your excuses and DO.

***Simple Technique to Stop Negative Thoughts***

In my early 20s I experienced a personal breakdown as a result of storing repressed memories and emotions associated to various incidents over the years. My mental health decided that one day it was giving up and went into self sabotage and desolation. I would wake up every day feeling numb and exhausted. I would have terrible visualizations that something bad was going to happen. I even had flashes of harrowing pictures involving the people I deeply cared about. Every day seemed like an uphill struggle and lacked any feelings of excitement about anything. It never used to take much to get me excited (as I was such a positive person), but during this time I could never get into that excited, happy state. I would go out and spend money on a whim in the hope that it would give me a buzz, make me feel a bit more alive inside. Of course, it never did

I was very conscious that as a naturally happy person I was feeling very different. I remember vividly looking out into my garden and seeing a dark and grey border around the edges of my vision. It was like I was in a tunnel, and all I could see was what was in front of me. Every time a happy thought came into my mind, something horrible took it away by replacing it with something unpleasant. I put up with it for three years, and things started to get better as I took a course in homeopathy and naturally weaned myself off anti-depressants. The strange, sporadic flashes kept continuing, however, and I was worried that I was going to create or experience them. I was unable to fully control my thoughts, and I began to understand why a few years later.

I have always had a deep fascination with the psychology of the mind and decided to qualify in Neuro Linguistic Programming. During my studies, I began to understand how my mind was working, and the realization that I could literally manipulate my thoughts amazed me. I became a master of my own mind, and I am going to teach you how you can re-wire yours as well.

I am sure some of you reading this have experienced similar bizarre thoughts and visualizations. The unconscious mind is very powerful, dominating the conscious mind, playing tricks on us and causing us to think in negative ways. Of course, a common issue is the lack of serotonin in the brain which can create negative feelings, and many people turn to pills to try to balance it out. But, pills really only act as a plaster (I am not a doctor, though, and do not suggest that you stop taking them if you are on them). In my experience, I had terrible side effects from taking anti-depressants: my body would often reject them, and I tried out about six different types. Finally, I turned to an amazing therapist and homoeopathist who weaned me off them; I will always remember him to this day for that very reason.

Your deepest healing must start with identifying the root cause of your unhappiness. Many people are not even aware of their root causes, fighting against themselves but feeling mentally defeated and worn out. That is why it’s so important to work with a professional who can help you draw out the deeper underlying triggers; do not suffer alone.

My moment of clarity came when I realized that thoughts were simply that – a thought. I wasn’t going mad, but I had unconsciously anchored some very negative thought patterns because I was in a state of self sabotage. I had unconsciously learned to punish myself with a negative thought, whenever I was starting to feel positive again. I had simply learned a habit of thinking negatively during my experience of depression, and my mission was to undo this detrimental behavior.

The magic to finally alleviating this way of thinking came by being able to detach myself from the thought itself. I would acknowledge when one popped into my head, really notice the detail, thank it, and then let go of it. I removed any anxiety or fear around my thoughts, and by simply accepting them as thoughts, they disappeared over time.

Before I mastered NLP, the above process was extremely effective for me. I was actually achieving my own re-wiring without really being aware of what I was doing. The great news for you is that I am about to share an NLP technique which may speed up the process a bit:

When you find yourself thinking a negative thought, going back into a past memory or saying something which is detrimental to your well-being, follow this simple technique:
Find a quiet place where you can sit and not be interrupted, and close your eyes (you can keep your eyes open if it’s easier).
Bring in the thought, words or feelings that are causing you upset or discomfort.
Notice how they are making you feel, what you see, hear, smell or taste.
Decide what you would like to replace the thought, word or feeling with. Perhaps it might be something which smells nice, tastes nice or feels good. Perhaps you have a past happy memory which you could use to replace this thought. Really connect to the state.
Imagine or pretend to release the thought, word or feeling, so it is separate from you. Maybe you might want to imagine that it’s a particular color, shape or person, and see it as though it’s in front of you on the floor like an object.
When you are ready, using your imagination, bring in the positive thought or feeling which you’d like instead, and saturate the negative thought you see in front of you. Soak it, dowse it, drown it, and suffocate it!
Remain in that wonderful state of positivity until the negative thought has disappeared.
Come back into the room, look at the time, and do a quick jog on the spot… (trust me on that bit!).