“Happiness is not a goal…it’s a by-product of a life well lived.” Eleanor Roosevelt

START HEALING THE WORLD: TAKE RESPONSIBILITY FOR HEALING YOURSELF

http://tinybuddha.com/blog/start-healing-the-world-take-responsibility-for-healing-yourself/

8 EASY WAYS TO SPREAD HAPPINESS AROUND YOU

http://tinybuddha.com/blog/8-easy-ways-to-spread-happiness-around-you/

3/28/13 Good day

What a great day beyond the muck of my brain. Woke up in a close and lovely friend's home to have her home to myself in Pacific Beach. I had full access to Netflix and proceeded to watch a film on street art. I ate some grapes, drank coffee, and looked through a book about traveling in New York City. Then I was inspired and used her straightener and makeup and did myself all purty. I also wore my friend's clothes that were much more fabulous than how I usually dress. I felt beautiful.

Then I went to the bay by her house and sat, thank, and took photos of myself. I took in the air and water.

Then I walked about 2 miles to Mission Beach. I went and sat in the sand for a little while, pulling my shirt down to tan my shoulders. It was such a beautiful day. I love feeling the heat of the sun. It is like a drug and provides me so much internal and external warmth and energy.

Then I walked back to Pacific Beach and went into a shoe store. I got five pairs of shoes for teaching - really scoring.

Then I went to Buffalo Exchange. I literally said out loud when I got there, "Uh. I don't want to shop right now!" I was complaining about the privilege and gift of shopping. Well, I got an even greater gift inside that has never happened to me when trying on 9 articles of clothing - they all ended up fitting and working! I got them all! To know something about me, I struggle getting new clothes and shoes. I am picky and things just don't tend to fit right. It was wonderful.

Then I went into Fred's Mexican Cafe and talked to my kind waiter for about 7 minutes to figure out how we can make their veggie burrito vegan (the rice were cooked in chicken broth, etc). It was also happy hour so in the meantime it was being prepared, I had myself a blended House margarita as I sat looking through the window towards the road. I was skimming more through my friend's book on New York. My phone was also dying so I had to figure out a way to get home.

My burrito came out and I happily ate my custom-made meal. I talked on the phone with my lovely friend who hosted me so kindly, and she gave me great advice that pushed me forward - pushed me forward just to be happy. It was a moment for me, and I have been happier 7 hours since that conversation and life already has a whole new glow. I just have to keep it up.

It's been a great day because I took time to be in nature, ease my mind, take in the sun, buy things for myself I will need for my interview, summer of training, and once I'm a teacher. I'm also happier now and feeling more liberated and in connection with my friends. Spent a bit today reconnecting with wonderful souls I am blessed to know. They filled me with love, support, kind words, and happiness.

Life is good.

~Jess

"Sometimes in tragedy we find our life's purpose. The eye sheds a tear to find its focus." ~Robert Brault

“Sometimes the wrong choices bring us to the right places.” ~Unknown

Contemplating the consequences of an action not taken is all the motivation you need.

http://tinybuddha.com/blog/lessons-from-regret-the-time-is-now/

goodness.

that is my core.

Thank you, Oz, for reminding me.

Soul connections : what life is all about it.

Lloyd.

just wanted I needed... thankful for the benevolence of the Almighty

The good news is that fear is merely an illusion. Fear is something we invent. The only thing that gives it any power is when we listen to it.

So since we create fear, that means we can destroy it. Fear loses its power over us if we stop listening to it.

When it creeps into our head, we can acknowledge its presence, look for what we can learn from the fear message, thank it for its concerns, and then refuse to listen.

It’s a choice that we can make.

How empowering is that?

I am begging you to break the bondage of fear in your life and start to live your life free. Free to live and breathe your dreams and receive your blessings from the universe that loves you, and wants to help you be successful and happy. This freedom can be acquired and granted to us through TRUST.

When we decide to trust in the universe, we create a sacred space that surrounds us like a shield that keeps the fear out.

When we trust—no matter what—that...
-Everything will be OK.
-Everything will work out fantastically if we walk our unique paths toward our dreams.
-We will be led to add our own unique talent to the world.
... then fears melts away.

Once we start trusting, and commit to trusting, life begins to really open up. We are like roses unfolding in bloom.

When you are trusting the universe, you feel lighter. You feel beautiful. You begin walking with passion and purpose. And you feel great because you know the universe has your back.

It feels amazing. It makes you feel like a kid again.

Remember when you were a child and you didn’t have to worry about anything? Without worrying about it, you were automatically clothed, and fed, and had a roof over your head. All you cared about was where you were going to ride your bike, the next neighborhood game, who would be available to play the next day, where to build your fort….

When you decide to trust in the universe to lead you on your way and take care of you, your playful nature is restored. When you opt to trust, the universe swallows up your worries. And your troubles. And LET'S YOU PLAY!

You are free to play when you have no worries. It’s the greatest feeling!

If I wake up on any given day with a heavy heart and feel the blues because the very thought of certain situations in my life and the uncertainties surrounding them are serving me pillaging thoughts of angst and worry--that is a clear indication that my trust in the universe is currently low. Instead of continuing down that self-destructive process of thought, I can stop myself right there, close my eyes, and start breathing.

As I slowly inhale, I breathe in trust, and slowly exhale fear. I breathe in trust, and bring it down into the bottom of my stomach and then alllllll the way down to my toes. As I exhale fear, I expel it from my lungs.

I continue to do this simple meditation exercise until I can feel the energy shift within and around me. I draw in light to myself as I focus on and renew my trust in my higher power.

After I am centered, I move into my day with positive energy and a knowing that everything is going to be alright. If I feel myself start to slip back into those mopey feelings, I begin to breathe in trust all over again, until the feeling subsides.

I would love to know how this meditation works for you! I would also like to know if there are any other exercises you do to renew your trust with the universe.

Get rid of the fear illusions, friends. Lighten your load of worries by trusting in the benevolence of our universe.

Bliss out and go play!

http://www.mindbodygreen.com/0-6728/An-Exercise-to-Get-Rid-of-Fear-and-Start-Trusting-the-Universe.html

“The journey is the reward.” ~Chinese Proverb

Being challenged in life is inevitable. Being defeated is optional.

Replacements :

anger for love.
pain for hope.

Mental Yoga: Why Psychological Flexibility is the Key to Your Wellbeing

ON DEALING WITH FEAR: STOP JUDGING YOURSELF AND BE

Sometimes people get trapped in their mind. they just want to escape. But it feels like we're stuck. So we find ways to escape. Some people hurt themselves. Some hurt others. But it'll be better tomorrow. It'll all be better.

-When She Calls, Fashawn

Dealing with pain

1. Developing emotional intelligence.
2. Learning to sit with negative feelings.
3. Creating situations for positive feelings.

Pain is part of life, and we can’t avoid it by resisting it. We can only minimize it by accepting it and dealing with it well.

That means feeling the pain and knowing it will pass. No feeling lasts forever. It means sitting in the discomfort and waiting before acting. There will come a time when you feel healed and empowered.

Our power comes from realizing we don’t need to act on pain; and if we need to diffuse it, we can channel it into something healthy and productive, like writing, painting, or doing something physical.

Pain is sometimes an indication we need to set boundaries, learn to say no more often, or take better care of ourselves; but sometimes it just means that it’s human to hurt, and we need to let ourselves go through it.

We tend to be more reactive than active, but that’s a decision to let the outside world dictate how we feel.

We don’t need to sit around waiting for other people to evoke our feelings. Instead, we can take responsibility to create our own inner world.


We can identify what we want to say yes to in life and choose that before struggling with whether or not to say no to someone else. If you love dancing, take a class. If your greatest passion is writing, start a blog. If you daydream about being a musician, start recording.

Don’t worry about where it’s leading. Do it just because you love it.

***
Negative feelings are only negative if they’re excessive and enduring. We won’t hurt ourselves into eternal misery if we let ourselves feel what we need to.

Still, we don’t have to feel bad nearly as often as we think.

If we choose to foster a sense of inner peace, challenge our perceptions and interpretations when our emotions could use some schooling, and learn to take responsibility for our joy, we can not only minimize pain—we can choose to be a source of pleasure, for ourselves and the people around us.

http://tinybuddha.com/blog/how-to-deal-with-uncomfortable-feelings/

“Hope is the feeling that the feeling you have isn’t permanent.” ~Jean Kerr

Pain is a constant friend
I just want some healing

self-criticism

Self criticism is an act of nitpicking and disapproving of one’s action or behavior. Being self critical does more harm than good. A person who has low self esteem will make an incorrect personal judgment and evaluation. This is because he or she has a low opinion of himself and doesn’t think that he’s good enough. He belittles, underestimates and underrates his capabilities.

When he affirms that there is something wrong with him, he will become and do more of what he sees in himself. This will make him criticize himself further. His feeling of self worth will go way down. He will think of himself as a loser and believe that he’s never going to be good at anything or with anyone. Constant barrage of negative talks will lead to self loathing.

Yes, it’s true that you have to be honest with yourself. And you should take a look at your errors, mistakes and faults. This is one of the ways to learn, correct them and not repeat the same things. But disparaging or condemning yourself is not a wise way to do it. The better and proper way is to go to the root of the problem, and that is to improve your self image and self esteem. When you think, see and feel better about yourself, you will have a positive outlook and make better assessment. You examine your actions and behaviors and find the solutions instead of searching for your flaws and weaknesses.

And dealing with negative comments from other people becomes easier because you are no longer sensitive and have become approachable. You accept them as useful feedback and use them to further your growth and development.

How to Stop Self Criticism



1. Be Aware of Your Thoughts.

Becoming aware of your thoughts and feelings is the beginning of correcting yourself. Pause every now and then to hear what you are saying to yourself. One of the best times to hear your critical voice is when your emotional state changes. When you feel that you’ve done something wrong or when you think of doing or saying something, the voice within will give you its point of view with the intention to protect you. And the self criticism will change your feelings.

Here’s an example.

You : I think I want to write an ebook about my experience and sell it.

Inner Voice : You want to write an ebook? Who are you kidding? You can’t even complete a letter well. Forget about it. Who wants to read it anyway?

2. Self Evaluation – Boldly Question the Inner Voice.

Try to notice if your mind is replaying old recordings of whatever have happened once upon a time? Whose voice are you hearing? Is it yours, your parents or someone who used to condemn you? Ask your inner self what it is trying to achieve? Have a conversation with yourself and boldly keep questioning the remarks and judgments. Keep asking further questions with each answer until you reach a threshold and the inner voice give in. This is one of the ways to not only challenge the inner critic but also to change your limiting beliefs.

3. Use Different Words to Describe Your Experiences.

Words and the language you use can make or break you. When you disapprove yourself, you use words. The words affect your emotions and your behavior. So, use different words to describe your emotions and experiences. When you make a mistake, stop saying things such as “It’s typical of stupid me. I just’ can’t do things right.”

Say something like, “Okay, here a little boo boo. I’ll do better the next time.” Saying positive things will help you change your state, laugh at yourself and lighten things up. When you are in a better mood, you can think well and will find the right solution.

4. Use a Journal.

Use a journal to monitor your self talk and when you do the self evaluation. It enables you to notice the criticisms that you have been saying to yourself and see the pattern. It also helps you discover the triggers, your beliefs and value system.

5. Accept that There Is No Failure, Just Feedback.

When something goes wrong or if you have made a mistake, accept that as a feedback. It’s just not the right strategy. Ask yourself what can you learn from the experience and move on. Try another way and say things such as, “I’ll try doing it this way. It’ll work this time. If it still doesn’t, I’ll try another.”

6. Acknowledge Your Strengths and Previous Success.

Look and find the positive instead of looking at what’s wrong with you. Identify your strengths, skills, abilities and previous successes. Whenever you succeed in something, say positive things to yourself such as, “I did it or I know I can do it.”


http://www.about-personal-growth.com/self-criticism.html

And the root of my burdens is inside of me so I can't be free til I decide to be.

I Neva Said... Knobody

Inspirational

But maybe, too, there are some unexpected and unwanted things in life that will bring you down if you let them, and instead it's possible to shift your perspective and see the positives. I still feel lucky, even more so, and I wouldn't now choose to not have the experience that I did. I know that the next time I may not be so lucky, but until that time comes I will strive to embrace all the positives in my life and try not to dwell on the negatives.

Intimacy

Can we allow another to deeply matter to us? Are we willing to take the risk to let them all the way inside – to really see, know, and touch our most core vulnerabilities; to open ourselves so profoundly that we’re left utterly naked and fully exposed, knowing that in any moment our hearts could shatter into millions of pieces? Many of our childhood biographies involved a very unstable environment, an uncertain reality where it was not safe to let another become too important, where we spent much of our time and energy learning exactly what we had to say and do in order to receive the love, care, affection, attention, and holding that we so sweetly needed. We can be quick to judge and admonish these early adaptive strategies, seeing them as “unspiritual” or neurotic or crazy, but perhaps they were in actuality the most luminous expressions of a certain kind of intelligence and creativity. Perhaps, upon deeper examination, they might come to be seen as special forms of grace, put in play by the great architect of love to ensure our own survival, as profound gifts sent to ensure the flowering of our precious hearts and nervous systems. As innocent little ones, we very naturally allow others to deeply matter; it is part of who we are. Over time, though, many of us have come to see that this sort of exposure is tremendously risky; it’s just too raw, too open, too scary. But as little ones we can’t really help it; we’re wired to connect.



Often in the challenges inherent in intimate relationship, we become convinced that it is our partner who is causing us to feel so bad. The evidence is so clear… isn’t it? They don’t respect us, they speak unkindly to us, they don’t understand us, they’re never there when we really need them, they just can’t quite connect with who we are at the deepest levels; and the big one – they just don’t meet our needs. We put a lot of pressure on our partners (and on ourselves, for that matter) to “meet our needs.” Before we know it, much of our lives become organized around getting our needs met; and there is something about this that can start to feel a bit off. It can be really helpful to take some time and look at this carefully. Of course there is likely some relative truth in these traits and behaviors in our partners, and they are worth exploring. This is not to say that the other person isn’t actually speaking and acting in unkind, overly defensive, or critical ways, and that this shouldn't be related with. But we might also come to see that just by being in relationship, we will be forced to feel feelings that we really don’t want to feel.

To allow in those intense and challenging emotions and sensations which have previously been lodged in the body can be terrifying. Do we really want to do this? Maybe tomorrow; for now, it’s best to go take a walk, listen to some music, write another rambling facebook post, contemplate how awakened we are, make another cup of tea, or do some meditation. It’s not so much that our partner is doing something *to* us, but rather when we open ourselves to love, there are previously unmet emotions and sensations there, lurking in the unconscious, seeking the light of day. For many, it is in the context of a vulnerable, naked, intimate relationship where that which is still unresolved will most powerfully present itself to be metabolized and healed. If we look closely, perhaps we can see how we organize our lives around not having to feel certain feelings. To see this can be quite illuminating – and often very disturbing. It is easy to then fall into our old habitual patterns of self-aggression or avoidance, to start to become unkind to ourselves, falling into spiritual superegoic judgment, self-hatred, and shame.

Another option is to make the radical commitment to practicing the yoga of love, of holding ourselves in an enormous environment of kindness. We stay unconditionally committed to the truth that whatever arises in our experience - no matter how disturbing, anxiety-provoking, "unspiritual," confusing, painful, or difficult - that it is ultimately workable, that it is a precious part of our own hearts that we wish to know deeper and to integrate into the entirety of what we are. We can be grateful for the gift of clear seeing, even if what we see is disturbing and anxiety provoking, for it is a certain kind of grace which allows us to finally see the ways we organize our experience, and how all of our neurosis and our strategies were our best efforts at the time to take care of ourselves. We are being given a gift, a fierce gift you could say, and an opportunity to let love dismantle those protective strategies that once served us, but no longer are.

Let us all hold those we’re in relationship with, including ourselves, by committing to taking love’s journey with them, knowing nothing about the route or the destination. Let us be kind to ourselves and our partners if we decide to truly take up the most vulnerable yoga of intimacy, knowing that it will take everything we have and are to navigate, as it offers fruits beyond this world.

"Be kind to yourself and how you view change and growth."

PROGRESS not PERFECTION

"Love is boundless acceptance of yourself and others."

“Don’t be pushed by your problems; be led by your dreams.” -Unknown

awesome.. haha

1. Be your own hero.

You don't need another person to come and rescue you. You don't need a job title, a new place, a new career or a relationship to define you or make you feel worthy. You are the only one who can pronounce yourself worthy or unworthy, so don't give your power away to someone else. You are perfect just the way you are; own that and be your own hero.

2. Know what you need, not what you want.

Before my dating detox, I thought I wanted to be in a committed relationship, but I what I needed was self-love and self-acceptance. If I only focused on what I wanted, I thought I'd be happy when I got it, but I neglected my true needs and got hurt time and time again. It wasn't until I took time off from dating that I realized what I needed in every situation was to feel self-love and compassion. If we focus on our needs, our desires fall naturally into place.

3. You alone are enough.

Maya Angelou said, "You alone are enough. You have nothing to prove to anybody." When I was in a relationship, I worked so hard to prove my love. I would overextend myself because I feared losing the love of the person I was with. Through my love sabbatical, I recognized that I am enough just as I am. I don't have to try to be someone else to get people to like me, or to keep someone in love with me.

If you feel uncomfortable around a loved one, ask yourself if you are allowing him to make you feel unworthy. Be yourself fully, and you'll find the love you so desire.

http://www.mindbodygreen.com/0-8174/3-lessons-i-learned-from-a-year-of-celibacy.html

There is nothing more consistent with unhappiness than spending your time in a way that doesn’t serve who you are. And to the contrary, there is no more profound source of fulfillment and happiness than knowing you are traveling your own path and making the dent in the world you know you’re capable of.

3 Steps to blazing a trail and discovering your purpose:

1. Know your Values.

These are your building blocks. What’s most important to you above all else? I’m talking the zero compromise areas of who you are. Family, health, freedom, honesty, intimacy, playfulness, love, adventure, achievement. The list is infinite.

Pick your top few. Prioritize them. What events and experiences allow you to feel them? This is your foundation. Your compass.

2. Know your Super Powers.

We all have things we naturally knock out of the park. Your core strengths. Some might even call them gifts. Is it public speaking, teaching, analysis, social interaction, influencing, positivity, discipline, problem solving? Most of us have a gut feeling of what these are.

What have past experiences shown? What have people consistently complimented you on? What’s you favorite type of project to put your heart into? The book Strengths Finder 2.0 is an awesome place to start.

3. Know your Passion Moments.

We’ve all had them. A moment or time in your life when you felt invincible. It could come during a work project, caring for a child, exploring a new place or cooking a meal. Anything as long as you feel it at your core. You’ve likely had more than one.

Keep a list of these Passion Moments. And noticing this in others is just as important. What have you seen people around you do that inspire purpose? This list will never stop growing and with every addition, you gain more clarity on what lights a fire in your belly.

“Don’t be pushed by your problems; be led by your dreams.” -Unknown

http://tinybuddha.com/blog/discovering-happiness-through-purpose-in-3-natural-steps/

“The person who lives life fully, glowing with life’s energy, is the person who lives a successful life.”
~Daisaku Ikeda

20 THINGS TO DO WHEN YOU’RE FEELING ANGRY WITH SOMEONE

“If you are patient in one moment of anger, you will escape a hundred days of sorrow.” ~Chinese proverb




SIT WITH YOUR ANGER

1. Allow yourself to feel angry. You may think you need to cover “negative feelings” with positive ones. You don’t. You’re entitled to feel whatever you need to feel. We all are.

2. Make a conscious choice to sit with the feeling. Oftentimes when I’m angry I feel the need to act on it, but later I generally wish I’d waited. Decide that you’re not going to do anything until the feeling has less of a grip on you.

3. Feel the anger in your body. Is your neck tense? Is your chest burning? Is your throat tightening? Are your legs twitching? Recognize the sensations in your body and breathe into those areas to clear the blockages that are keeping you feeling stuck.

4. See this as an exercise in self-soothing. You can get yourself all revved-up, stewing in righteousness and mentally rehashing all the ways you were wronged. Or you can talk yourself down from bitter rage into a place of inner calm. In the end, we’re the only ones responsible for our mental states, so this is a great opportunity to practice regulating yours.

5. Commit to acting without seeking retribution. Decide that you’re not looking to get even or regain a sense of power. You’re looking to address the situation and communicate your thoughts about it clearly.

EXPLORE YOUR ANGER

6. Check in with your mood before the incident. Were you having a bad day already? Were you already feeling annoyed or irritated? It could be that someone’s actions were the straw that broke the camel’s back, but not fully responsible for creating these feelings.

7. Ask yourself: Why is this bothering you so much? Is it really what someone else did, or are you feeling angry because of what you’re interpreting their actions to mean? (For example, you may think that your boyfriend not showing up means that he doesn’t respect you, when he may have a valid explanation).

8. Take a projection inventory. If you’re angry with someone for doing something that you’ve done many times before, your feelings may be magnified by seeing a behavior of your own that you’re not proud of. Look for all areas where you may be projecting your own traits onto someone else to get closer to root of your feelings.

9. Journal about it. Grab your pen and walk yourself through it step by step. What did the other person do? Are you assuming negative intentions on their part? Have they done this before? How do you feel besides angry—do you feel insecure, frustrated, or confused? Get it all out.

10. Put it in a letter. Now that you know more clearly what part the other person played in your anger and which part is more about you, write a letter to him or her. You may send this letter, or you might end up just burning it. This is to help you clarify what exactly you’d like that person to know, understand, or change.

RESPOND WITHOUT ANGER

11. Now that you’re clear about the role you played in your anger, initiate a verbal conversation about what bothered you. You could also send the letter you wrote, but it will be easier to clarify parts the other person doesn’t understand if you’re having a direct back-and-forth exchange.

12. Use “I feel” language—so instead of saying, “You didn’t show up so you obviously don’t care about me,” say, “When you forget about the things that are important to me, I feel hurt.” In this way, you’re not assuming the other person meant to make you feel bad—you’re just explaining how it makes you feel so they can understand how their actions impact you.

13. Resist the urge to unload all your unspoken grievances. Sometimes one annoyance can open the floodgates to a laundry list of complaints—but no one responds well to a barrage of criticism. Stick to the issue at hand, and address the other things at some other time.

14. Stay open to the other person’s perspective. It’s possible that they feel angry, too, and think that you’re the one in the wrong. It’s also possible that there isn’t a right or wrong, but rather two people who see things differently and need to see each other’s point of view.

15. Focus on creating a solution. If your goal is to get the other person to admit that they’re wrong, you’ll probably end up in a power struggle. Focus instead on what you’d like to change in the future—for example, you’d appreciate it if she would come straight to you next time instead of complaining about you behind your back. You can help facilitate this by owning some responsibility—that you will listen if he comes to you instead of getting emotional.

LEARN FROM YOUR ANGER

16. Learn what you value. This situation taught you something useful about what you value in the people you choose to be friends with—maybe directness, humility, or loyalty. This will help you decide which people you might want to spend more or less time with going forward.

17. Learn what you need. It might be something you need to improve your relationship, or it might be that you need to end a relationship because you know it doesn’t serve you. Learn it, own it, act on it.

18. Learn how to communicate clearly. This experience was an exercise in expressing yourself in the best way to be heard and understood. There will definitely be more situations like this in the future, so this is good practice for misunderstandings and struggles to come.

19. Learn how you can improve your response to anger going forward. Maybe you reacted too quickly, so now you’ve learned to put more space between your feelings and your response. Maybe you got defensive, and the other person shut down, so you’ve learned to be less accusatory in the future.

20. Learn what you’ll do differently in the future. You probably realized somewhere along this journey that you played some role in the situation. Very rarely is it black and white. Once you own your part, now you can use that knowledge to create more peaceful relationships going forward.

And lastly, forgive. As I wrote in my post about forgiveness, very few of us get to the ends of our lives and say, “I wish I stayed angry longer.” We generally say one of the following:

I love you. I forgive you. I’m sorry.

If that’s likely what you’ll feel when you realize time is running out, why not express it now, while you can still enjoy the peace it will give you?


http://tinybuddha.com/blog/20-things-to-do-when-youre-feeling-angry-with-someone/

LOVE YOURSELF, ACCEPT YOURSELF, FORGIVE YOURSELF

http://tinybuddha.com/blog/love-yourself-accept-yourself-forgive-yourself/

CREATE YOUR OWN HAPPINESS: MAKE FEELING GOOD YOUR NEW RELIGION

In other words, find something that will make you happy and do it every day. Make feeling good your new religion.

Why?

For self-transformation and planetary change. Or, simply because it makes you happy.


http://tinybuddha.com/blog/create-your-own-happiness-make-feeling-good-your-new-religion/

" Honesty is the air love needs to breathe. "

~Aaron Jackson

" Next time you're stressed, take a step back, inhale and laugh. Remember who you are and why you're here. Be strong, love yourself and love others. "

"Flow with the nature of life and you will have the strength to handle everything that comes your way. "

Actions are how we answer our questions.

“We don’t need to create bridges to climb over chasms, or do battle with dragons and monsters, though this paints an epic and exciting story for us, which we can get lost in for a time, healing is much simpler… Healing can be as simple as recognizing that who we are underneath the physical garment is so incredibly beautiful as it is and as such the human self is too, and any resistance or tension is only held there because we resist this understanding in one way or another.” – Elias Davis

amazin'

"My life is filled with so much love and goodness that is trying to permeate my cells and I have been stalwart in not letting it pass through. Because each and every time that happens, it brings up a sense of melancholy that I never got this before. It reminds me of how deep the pit was that I had fallen into in the past, how far I have had to claw my way out of darkness to begin to feel the tendrils of the light.

This is where I am. When I feel like the world gets to be too much, I shut down my phone, close my laptop, hole up. I'm actively aiming to do the opposite, because an old friend of mine had once said, "If you want things to change, do the opposite of what you would normally do."

So, I'm leaning into the discomfort, allowing the fear to come in but choosing love instead. We'll see where this goes. Either way, I'm thankful for the opportunity to develop myself into a greater version of me, even if the steps along the way are cracked, uneven, and quaking."

http://hawkandlily.blogspot.com/

" Maybe everything is unfolding just as it should in perfect order and Divine Timing. "

"Fear is faith that it won't work out."
~Sister Mary Tricky

"Man is almost mad — mad because he is seeking something which he has already got;
mad because he's not aware of who he is;
mad because he hopes, desires and then ultimately,feels frustrated.
Frustration is bound to be there because you cannot find yourself by seeking;
you are already there. The seeking has to stop, the search has to drop..."
~Osho


"One day, I'll be able to detach from holding onto my imperfections with a vicelike grip around a suitcase that is becoming emptier each time I arrive at a new destination in my life.

And eventually, I'll even be able to air out my dirty laundry, wash my unmentionables, and put on a beautiful change of clothes."


http://hawkandlily.blogspot.com/2013/03/do-i-love-having-problems.html

" Be nice even if others are not nice to you. Let life flow and go its way, don't try to change it. Let it be. "

It's not a break-up, just reassembling.

" It's not about having what you want, but wanting what you have. "

"You can't control others' behaviors but you can control how you react and respond to them."

"Never depend on others for happiness."


truthful wisdom

" Laugh often and don’t take yourself so seriously. "

good for me to practice :)

20 WAYS TO GIVE WITHOUT EXPECTATIONS

1. Give money you can spare to someone who needs it and then pretend you never had it.

2. Let someone tell a story without feeling the need to one-up them or tell your own.

3. Let someone vent, even if you can’t offer a solution, just to be an ear—without considering how well they listened to you last week.

4. Help someone who is struggling with difficult feelings by admitting you’ve felt the same thing—without considering whether they’d be as open with you.

5. Ask, “What can I do to help you today?” Then let it go after following through.

6. Tell someone how you feel about them, even if it makes you feel vulnerable, just to let them know they’re loved and not alone.

7. Apologize when you’ve acted selfishly, even if you don’t like feeling wrong, because it will remind the other person they deserve to be treated with respect.

8. Let someone else educate you, even if you’re tempted to stay closed minded, because you value their knowledge and appreciate their willingness to share it.

9. Forgive someone who wronged you because you have compassion for them, not because you know they’ll owe you.

10. Hold someone’s hand when they feel vulnerable to let them know you haven’t judged them.

11. Give your full attention to the person in front of you when you’re tempted to let your thoughts wander just to show them their words are valuable.

12. Assume the best when you’re tempted to suspect someone for no valid reason—even if they haven’t always given you the benefit of the doubt.

13. Accompany someone to an appointment or drive them to an interview when they need support just to help them feel strong.

14. Change your plans for someone you love if yours weren’t too important without questioning whether they’d do the same for you.

15. Teach someone how to do something without taking a superior position because they’ve likely taught you many things, whether they were obvious or not.

16. Leave a thoughtful comment on someone’s blog, not to build your readership but rather to show them how they affected you.

17. Tell someone you believe in their potential, even if they haven’t always shown you the same support.

18. Say no when it would make you feel good to say yes, because sometimes being kind means pushing someone to step up and try harder.

19. Tell someone you know they meant well instead of using their mistake as an opportunity to manipulate their guilt.

20. I’ve left this one open for you to write. How do you give just to show you care?

http://tinybuddha.com/blog/20-ways-to-give-without-expectations/

"Life is about people—it's about the quality of relationships we have with each other."

“Never allow someone to be your priority while allowing yourself to be their option.”

"The pain you feel today will be the strength you feel tomorrow."

Rather than thinking about the "circle of life," I liked learning the idea about our existence being like a spiral, where even if you encounter similar experiences, it's not quite the same, because you're a little bit more refined the second time around. If you find yourself butting up against the same types of experiences again and again, you're in good company.

"Love the people that you are with and enjoy the moment."

"No matter how much you think you know you never know everything. Don't judge."

Treat yourself the way you want to be treated.

" A broken open heart is the ultimate teacher. "

life's about learning. It's about being a little wiser and more self aware today than
yesterday, and using that wisdom to make the world a better place than you found it.

Feeling of safety within my own hands

"Finding that feeling of safety within my own two hands."

In Chinese culture, it's customary to tamp down your feelings, to press them so far back into your consciousness that you create a backlog of emotions you'll likely have to deal with later on. I was always very sensitive when I was younger, but I created a thick demeanor around it, so that I could handle what was happening in my household.

Then, when I began dating, I would attract men who seemed to not feel much of anything at all except for what was practical and rational and predictable. It made me feel like I was crazy, that I was going up and down and all around, when in actuality, I was simply being a human being. And, a beautiful woman at that.

Lately, I've been yearning to feel safe in the world, to be able to shed any presumptions or preconceived notions of how I need to be in order to receive love. Instead, I want to just be, and be loved for being me. While I've been seeking this feeling of security within and around others, like everything else in life, it always has to begin with ourselves first.

That realization can be both a blessing and a curse.

Because there are indeed times when you need to open up and surrender your palms, so that someone else can hold it for you. To pull you up when you feel you've stumbled, to hold tight when you get scared and want to run away, to remind you that you're not alone in the world. Then, there are other occasions when the only person who can make any sort of change is yourself — from what you think to what you believe to how you act, the spark must be ignited within you and then the flame can illuminate the rest of the world.

Every morning, before I get out of bed, I say a little mantra to protect my energy. I thank the Universe that I'm alive and gifted another day with my heart beating and my lungs breathing. And then, I place my hands on myself to offer Reiki healing energy. Today, after a night of odd dreams filled with fears, I awoke and did the same as I do every other morning.

The difference is, I felt filled with a sense of safety. I felt that my hands were offering loving energy to myself in a way that conveyed how worthy I am. I was giving myself what I've been looking for outside of me for so long. It was so serene and, while it was brief, it was an awakening of potential for greater self-care and self-respect in this moment and every other in the world.

It takes loads of work to change the patterns that exist in your brain. It takes effort and practice to overlay a new story on the one that was written before. It takes discipline to catch the approach you're using on yourself and others, to co-create a different type of experience, one that suits your soul much better.

Sometimes, it happens in an instant. Sometimes, it happens over years or even decades. And sometimes, it happens so subtly that you may not even realize you've arrived where you've always wanted to be. For all those other times in between, that's where faith that things are happening just as they're meant to comes into play.

Feel whatever you're feeling. Feelings are information and if you can be discerning and observing with the ones you choose to pursue, then you are growing wiser with every moment.

Today, I feel a bit safer. And that is lovely.

http://hawkandlily.blogspot.com/2013/02/finding-that-feeling-of-safety-within.html

"Never apologize for showing feeling. When you do so,
you apologize for the truth."

~Benjamin Disraeli

It takes a strong woman to handle a broken man.

... I am grateful for the ones that are there, and the stars I see constantly <3

" Give without expecting to receive "

I make myself feel the best and I make myself feel my worst.

DEAL WITH SELF-DOUBT AND TRUST YOUR SELF AGAIN

Muting the voices of self-doubt gremlins can be quite a feat. Here are some things that can help you trust yourself again when feeling defeated:

1. Ground yourself.

If you find yourself being pulled into negative thoughts stemming from past experiences or comments from others, staying present is key to being able to focus on the positive.

Sometimes it’s as simple as getting outside in nature. For others, meditating may help. I love walking meditations out in nature where I notice the details of my surroundings without judgment.

2. Balance the negative.

If you find that voices of the critical gremlins (both inner and outer) are way too loud, drown them out (or at least balance them) with your own chants of self-praise.

This can be hard when you’re in a real funk and find it difficult to access encouraging words for your self. To counter these voices you may find it helpful to write down 5 to 10 positive things about yourself in a handy mini notepad.

Whenever the gremlins strike with their undermining comments of “You’re not good enough,” whip out your book and read out loud words of praise for your self.

3. Take a break.

If you are feeling overwhelmed by what you perceive as not going so well, take some time away from that project and focus on something totally different. Sometimes shifting our focus away from what we are stuck on helps us take a new perspective when we come back to it.

Doodle, scribble, paint with your hands. Put on your favorite music and move around.

4. Nurture yourself.

It’s easy to get lost in the sea of self-doubt when we forget to take care of or own needs.

Make sure you have enough play time (away from work to balance the work and play). Be sure to stay hydrated with plenty of water throughout the day (not all at once), get enough sleep, and eat healthily.

Keep a gratitude art journal where you pick a picture out of a magazine or from online and choose one to three things a day that you are thankful for.

5. Connect with others.

While it is important to strengthen your self-love muscles, it is just as important to get the support you need from others. Whether this is from friends, family, or a professional therapist or coach, getting reassurance or help from others can make a big difference.

Sometimes just the reassurance that you are not the only one who gets stuck or has moments of self doubt can be help you shift a “why me” attitude.

What helps you overcome doubt in your abilities?

http://tinybuddha.com/blog/5-steps-to-deal-with-self-doubt-and-trust-your-self-again/

3 WAYS TO DEAL WITH 3 DIFFERENT FORMS OF NEGATIVITY IN THE WORLD

http://tinybuddha.com/blog/3-ways-to-deal-with-3-different-forms-of-negativity-in-the-world/

“The world is full of a lot of fear and a lot of negativity, and a lot of judgment. I just think people need to start shifting into joy and happiness. As corny as it sounds, we need to make a shift.” ~Ellen DeGeneres

“Enjoy the little things, for one day you may look back and realize they were the big things.” ~ Robert Brault

“Whenever something negative happens to you, there is a deep lesson concealed within it.” ~Eckhart Tolle

Practice acceptance and we may suffer less as it is happening and notice the good things in life more.

Disappointment is a part of life, but all parts of life can help us grow. We can be present and aware even in the midst of negative emotions and therefore life more fully.

Thinking negatively pretty much all day, dwelling on disappointment, dissatisfaction with friendships, literally just googled "How to deal with disappointment" and I get a call from a friend I have a beautiful connection with that I hung out with last too many months ago. Sometimes I don't understand how people care so much about each other and don't keep in touch, but it's something I'll just have to accept.

A call from this friend uplifted me, reminding me people do care, I care, and that reality is truly shaped by our internal world. This friend reminded me what it means to have an internal world that is colored and flowered and beautiful - he radiates that and he pushes me to be that way.

Thank you, dear friend, for pushing me forward and getting me a bit more out of this disappointment spell. I hope to figure out more what my emotions are telling me...

Lots of love,
Grateful for my friends,
Jess

Change your internal picture and change and adjust your internal dialogue.

Wherever your focus is, is your reality.

http://www.mindbodygreen.com/0-8148/are-you-making-your-life-harder-than-it-needs-to-be.html

Strong.wild.joyful.

humans. somethin else

A vagrant or a vagabond is a person, often in poverty, who wanders from place to place without a home or regular employment or income.

Collective evolution. yes.

Be love. the energy that is created from a place of peace and love can be tremendously beneficial to the human race. Empty your being of the gasoline you carry, and the situations or people that hold matches will become non existent. From this place, you can begin to see that everyone and everything is interconnected, everyone is just a facet of everyone else. All of us make up one large whole, and that one large whole cannot operate effectively until we harmonize. Everyone that comes into your life is playing a role for you, teaching you lessons. Whoever is meant to be in your life will, it all depends on what experiences serve best for the type of growth you and your soul desire.


http://www.collective-evolution.com/2012/12/18/cognitive-dissonance-the-minds-most-common-reaction-to-truth/

The body is what shelters the soul on this Earth. Be bad to your body, you are bad to your soul.

The immaterial.

dream

Trying hard to get to Traverse City from southern Michigan in my dream ... taking a train to Grand Rapids late at night, don't know where I am going to stay that night ... mission in mind and struggling to get there.

getting more in tune . . .

Getting more in tune with myself
Listening to my soul
Hearing what I should practice
Hearing what will make my life better
Practicing being true to myself
Pursuing my true wants
Preserving my health

Diet.Spirituality.Exercise.Emotions.MentalHealth.Intellect.Love.Society.Friends.Family.Nature.Responsibilities.Self-growth.Culture.MyFuture.



All elements of my well-being I am prioritizing and working on and fighting for when I need to.


In lots of love, health, and joy of being deeply content in the now,
Jessica B

Last night. 3.14.13
I don't think I've every cried like that. Anger were the shower of bullets coming from tears. I frantically wrote out my feelings and stained my sheet with my tears and snot before falling asleep.

I woke up in my sleep, fully conscious when it was still dark, awoken by the fear aroused in my dream. I woke to look all around me, on alert, before falling back asleep.

I woke up close to 9am again, realizing how deep my sleep was to bypass two alarms, bag around eyes swollen like raccoons.

I awoke to brush my do my morning salutation yoga outside in the sun, brush my teeth, play Common's tracks, and do a 7-minute morning work-out with Dr. Oz.

Life.

My life has gotten better. I admit, I had issues before.

People continually progress and change their whole lives, if they choose to. Progress is a constant part of human life. That is my intention for the life I lead.

Serendipity:
"happy accident" or "pleasant surprise"

IMAGINE THE POSSIBILITY.

Socialized into a culture ----- and reject it.

The Bean, New York City

There's no point to have misplaced anger. Take a moment to really think where your emotion comes from.

What the mind can conceive and believe you CAN achieve!

Working on thinking kind thoughts.

‎"Nothing real can be threatened."
-A Course in Miracles

What Every Young Adult Should Know About Healthcare

Written by a friend

http://christinerafla.wordpress.com/2013/03/12/what-every-young-adult-should-know-about-healthcare/

A philosopher argues that taking love-altering substances might not just be a good idea, but a moral obligation.

http://www.theatlantic.com/technology/archive/2013/01/the-case-for-using-drugs-to-enhance-our-relationships-and-our-break-ups/272615/

do what you dread.

Another person addicted. Another fallen mind. So sad.

Do homework in New York - get an A. of course! :)

"Decide that you want it more than you are afraid of it." - Bill Cosby.

National Napping Holiday Today!

I didn't take one today but happy napping!

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2013/03/11/nap-benefits-national-napping-day_n_2830952.html

‎"Happiness is not a matter of intensity but of balance, order, rhythm and harmony."-Thomas Merton

Profile: Karen Washington, Urban Farmer

Name: Karen Washington
Theme: Urban Agriculture
Age: 50 plus and fabulous
Occupation: Urban farmer
Location: Bronx, NY
Favorite Food: Collard Greens
Favorite Food Fact: The Bronx was originally a rural farming community that supplied the surrounding city markets with fresh produce



“You know sometimes people think food is a privilege. Food isn’t a privilege, it’s a right. And we want people to exercise that right to fresh, healthy produce in their neighborhood, and that’s what we’re all about.”

Rebel Story

Growing up in the inner-city, Karen Washington dreamed of having her own farm and cultivating many of the traditional foods she enjoyed cooking for her family. In the mid-1980’s Karen settled in the Bronx borough of New York and founded a community plot, appropriately named the ‘Garden of Happiness’.

Q & A

What’s wrong with the way we eat today in the U.S?
You’re starting to see health problems in children: diabetes, obesity – really things that you normally would see in an adult. When they started eating those fast foods, all of a sudden the high blood pressure! People are starting to make that very important connection to the food that they eat and health. And that’s major.

What can we do to make it right?
As we go forward in this urban agricultural movement, I want to see the future of urban planning that urban agriculture is part of that. It’s not only about building buildings but, its building communities and building areas where we can grow food. I’m not saying that in a metropolis that we will be able to grow food for the millions and millions of people. But what we will be able to do is really have a landscape where people will understand where their food comes from, have an opportunity to grow some food and have an opportunity to be cohesive in the movement.

When did you start urban farming and why?
Well, I remember being a little girl maybe 6 or 8 years old, getting up Saturday morning – and before Saturday morning cartoons was the farm report. I used to watch the farm report and I said, “Oooh I want to be a farmer… I wish I grew up on a farm.” So, even as a young child I had something inside of me that just got me hooked on farming. And I lived in the projects in the city! Who would have thunk it? That at the age of 56, I’m here as an urban farmer enjoying farming and growing food and really getting that message out. So there’s hope for all.

http://www.pbs.org/food/features/profile-karen-washington-urban-farmer/

uhh... yes please!

http://www.brownpapertickets.com/event/331102

From the pain knowledge is gained

The Repetitive Cycle Of The Human Experience: 9-5

Much is happening at the soul level that our minds are unaware of, but when the soul awakens within the body it inhabits, we begin to create a reality for ourselves that resonates with us at a much deeper level.

Humans have been programmed, which has resulted in the development of certain belief systems. We have been programmed by mass media to the point where a number of individuals have put themselves on “perception lock down.” By perception lock down, I mean that people have adopted the idea that ‘this is how the world is’ or ‘oh well, what can you do?’ We are told what to wear, eat, dress and how to act to the point where our thoughts aren’t even ours. Quantum physics has already shown us that if we change the way we look at things, the things we look at change. So, if we look at a 9-5 with the same type of mentality, our experience will never change. Our consciousness is responsible for creating our reality. Our perception of how things are gives way to our thoughts, feelings and emotions which are the paintbrushes we use to paint our lives, both on an individual and collective level. The world is your playground, what really matters is if your heart (not your mind) truly believes this. If you want to manifest a desired existence, you must manifest it from your hearts intention, not your minds intention. Your intuition and heart know more than the mind or words can comprehend, so don’t be afraid to trust it. Trusting your heart in this world can lead to backlash and opposition from many around you. Don’t let fear hold you back from what you really want to do. Just trust yourself, the backlash and opposition is simply a test to see how ‘strong’ you are in your heart, and if you are ready to let go of false concepts, belief systems and fear, you will be amazed at the doors the universe opens up for you.

Viewing the world from one point of view, and closing the mind to another point of view will create a lot of stress, hardship and emotional baggage that can inflict a person for as long as they live. Do you ever ask yourself where did this point of view come from? It’s not hard to see, from birth we are taught what our parents are taught, and often what there parents taught them.

Truth is, you do have a choice, and you don’t have to do anything you don’t want to do. Yes, the universe will provide you with the necessary experiences you need, until your soul has learned its lesson and moved on. Whatever your present situation, as much as you might not believe it, is the perfect situation for you. Our mind likes to judge our experience, but at a deeper level that is all it is, an experience. Let go of the mind, let go of the judgement and all you have left is the experience. If you view this experience from a place of neutrality, without judgement, maybe new things in your life will manifest and change. Not until you let go and enter into neutrality can your soul evoke new challenges, tests and experiences for itself beyond the ones you previously did not desire. The world can be a magical place, and more of us are learning how to tap into that magic. A new human experience is available to those who have the eyes to see it. Don’t judge your situation, don’t judge your 9-5, accept and embrace it. See it from a neutral standpoint and maybe you will be ready for something new. Much Love.


http://www.collective-evolution.com/2013/03/01/the-repetitive-cycle-of-the-human-experience-9-5/

Meal Ideas

Let's do it!

http://www.mediapeta.com/peta/PDF/2-week-sample-menu-pdf.pdf

The Simple, No-Equipment Workout You Can Do at Home

http://www.oprah.com/health/The-No-Equipment-Workout-You-Can-Do-at-Home

Flat Belly

Teens and 20s
Estrogen is acting like a busy traffic cop, directing fat storage to the breasts, hips, and thighs. The belly, however, is spared. So now's the time to work it. "Belly dancing celebrates the flesh," says Anita-Cristina Calcaterra, one of a joyously gyrating Boston trio known as the Goddess Dancing, who suggests this great move for a strong and sensuous stomach. Begin by standing facing a full-length mirror with legs hip-width apart, knees bent softly, tailbone tucked, and chest lifted. Heart circles: Imagine using your breasts to draw a vertical O in the mirror. First, lift up from your diaphragm. Keeping your hips still, in a continuous motion, slide your chest directly to the left, then down toward your belly button, across to the right side, and back up to where you started. Do for five minutes a day in both directions.



Read more: http://www.oprah.com/health/Timeline-of-a-Tummy#ixzz2NAs3m700


Meal Plan: Eat three 300-400 calorie meals that include whole grains and 2 fiber-rich snacks.

Flat belly

Forget the workouts you’ve tried time and time again – crunches and sit-ups are often ineffective when it comes to trimming away the midlife belly. Consider alternatives, like holding your body in the plank position, or try another yoga-inspired exercise, the cat pose. Directions: Get on all fours. Arch your back like a cat, and work the deep abdominal muscles by inhaling and pulling the stomach back toward the spine. Inhale for 4 seconds and exhale for 4 seconds.

Foods that Burn Belly Fat

Eat more monounsaturated fats, easily remembered as MUFAS, found in nuts, olive oil and seeds. Other fat burners include avocados, green tea and whole grains. Put them on your grocery list, and keep your fridge full and your body running on these healthy sources of energy. Your trimmer tummy will thank you.

For Dr. Oz’s 7-Minute workout,

Read more: http://www.oprah.com/health/Get-Rid-of-Belly-Fat-Dr-Oz/2#ixzz2NArKJ1zv

Dr. Oz's 7-Minute Workout

http://www.doctoroz.com/videos/dr-ozs-seven-minute-workout

The Flat Belly Diet

"To keep your belly in check, remember the acronym SED: Strength training to preserve muscle mass, Exercise aerobically to burn fat, and your Diet should be healthy, calorie-controlled, and include heart-healthy fats."

The basic Flat Belly Diet plan is a 1,600-calorie Mediterranean-style diet with an emphasis on wholesome, unrefined foods including fruits, vegetables, whole grains, nuts, beans, seeds, lean protein.

According to the authors, the secret ingredient in the Flat Belly Diet that whittles away belly fat is the addition of a monounsaturated fat, or MUFA, at every meal. MUFAs are found in olives, avocados, nuts, seeds, dark chocolate, soybean, flax, and olive and sunflower oils.

During the jump-start, dieters drink 2 liters of daily "sassy water," a blend of spices, herbs, citrus, and cucumber. "We tested the diet plan on 11 volunteers and they told us the flavored water reduced bloating, constipation, helped them feel better and get rid of that sluggish feeling," explains Sass.

http://www.webmd.com/diet/features/flat-belly-diet?page=3

"When you eat because you are actually hungry, you're open to options. When you are eating to fill a void that isn't related to an empty stomach, you crave a specific food."

Emotional eating can leave behind feelings of guilt; eating when you are physically hungry does not.

"Comfort foods are foods a person eats to obtain or maintain a feeling," says Brian Wansink, PhD, director of the Food and Brand Lab at the University of Illinois. "Comfort foods are often wrongly associated with negative moods, and indeed, people often consume them when they're down or depressed, but interestingly enough, comfort foods are also consumed to maintain good moods." (Oh marbles can I relate!)

"If you eat when you are not hungry, chances are your body does not need the calories," says Jakubczak. "If this happens too often, the extra calories get stored as fat, and too much fat storage can cause one to be overweight, which may present some health risks."

According to an interview with Jakubczak on the University of Maryland web site, 75% of overeating is caused by emotions, so dealing with emotions appropriately is important.

"The first thing one needs to do to overcome emotional eating is to recognize it," says Jakubczak. "Keeping a food record and ranking your hunger from 1-10 each time you put something in your mouth will bring to light 'if' and 'when' you are eating for reasons other than hunger." (I want to eat only for reasons of hunger).

Next, you need to learn techniques that help manage emotions besides eating, explains Jakubczak.

"Oftentimes when a child is sad, we cheer them up with a sweet treat," says Jakubczak. "This behavior gets reinforced year after year until we are practicing the same behavior as adults. We never learned how to deal with the sad feeling because we always pushed it away with a sweet treat. Learning how to deal with feelings without food is a new skill many of us need to learn."

Managing Emotional Eating

Here are a few tips to help you deal with emotional eating:

Recognize emotional eating and learn what triggers this behavior in you.

Make a list of things to do when you get the urge to eat and you're not hungry, and carry it with you, according to the Tufts Nutrition web site. When you feel overwhelmed, you can put off that desire by doing another enjoyable activity.
Try taking a walk, calling a friend, playing cards, cleaning your room, doing laundry, or something productive to take your mind off the craving -- even taking a nap, according to the Tufts Nutrition web site.

When you do get the urge to eat when you're not hungry, find a comfort food that's healthy instead of junk food. "Comfort foods don't need to be unhealthy," says Wansink.

For some, leaving comfort foods behind when they're dieting can be emotionally difficult. Wansink tells WebMD, "The key is moderation, not elimination." He suggests dividing comfort foods into smaller portions. For instance, if you have a large bag of chips, divide it into smaller containers or baggies and the temptation to eat more than one serving can be avoided.
When it comes to comfort foods that aren't always healthy, like fattening desserts, Wansink also offers this piece of information: "Your memory of a food peaks after about four bites, so if you only have those bites, a week later you'll recall it as just a good experience than if you polished off the whole thing." So have a few bites of cheesecake, then call it quits, and you'll get equal the pleasure with lower cost.

Lastly, remember that emotional eating is something that most people do when they're bored, happy, or sad. It might be a bag of chips or a steak, but whatever the food choice, learning how to CONTROL it and using MODERATION are key.

http://www.webmd.com/diet/features/emotional-eating-feeding-your-feelings

When you want to accomplish something, you lose your sense of fear.

Coffee Cashew Smoothie... looks delicious!!

Coffee Cashew Smoothie
The creamy texture in this decadent drink comes courtesy of the cashews, which also add 5 grams of protein to help keep your blood sugar—and hunger—steady, Brazier says.

Ingredients:
1/4 cup cashews, soaked six hours or overnight
1/2 banana, peeled and chopped (frozen optional)
1 tablespoon cacao nibs
1/2 cup Ice
1/4 cup cooled coffee
1 cup unsweetened almond milk
1/2 tablespoon coconut sugar (optional)

Directions:
Combine all ingredients in a blender and blend until smooth.
Nutrition score per serving: 361 calories, 7.5g protein



http://www.shape.com/healthy-eating/healthy-drinks/6-satisfying-vegan-smoothies?page=7

I LOVE THIS

The Responsibility to End Racism

Decades of evidence-based research indicate that white racism remains a significant problem in American society. Unjustly inherited white resources and continuing discriminatory practices have restricted access to better paying jobs, decent and affordable housing in great neighborhoods, excellent health care, and a political voice in Washington that matters.

White racism is a systemic phenomenon that is deeply woven in the fabric of our society and has a corrosive effect on the minds, bodies and souls of all Americans, including white people. Dealing justly with American racism means that white Americans must come to terms with the historical legacy of inequality inherited from their forbears. This means partaking in a thorough review of the United States as a nation founded (in part) on racist principles. We tend to underestimate the impact of systemic white racism, rationalizing it as an individual affair rather than a system of oppression involving 246 years of slavery and 90 years of Jim Crow for roughly 85 percent of our existence as a nation.

Since the 17th century, the political and economic elites -- mainly white men -- played a role in shaping our institution that disproportionally benefits white people to this day. Whether or not they are actually aware of their skin-privilege, over 20 generations of white Americans have inherited socioeconomic resources from their forbearers who benefitted unjustly from slavery, segregation, and other forms of racial oppression.

To the present, Americans of color have been economically impoverished and struggling because white Americans, past and present, have used extensive discriminatory motives and resistance to change to protect their group position. Just as it is impossible for any man to fully understand a woman's position in our sexist society, no white American can fully empathize with white racism and the experience of being black in America. Hence, all white Americans have some inclination (to varying degrees) to overlook the realities and affects of racism that undermines any real chance for communities of color to have some semblance of success and group uplift at the so-called "American Dream."

White people, listen. It is your responsibility to end racism. According to Mychal Denzel Smith, "From the avowed racist, to the anti-racist activists, to the 'I'm not a racist, I have two black friends' folks, to the 'I don't see color' people and everyone else between or on the margins. It has to be a concerted effort on the part of white people to actively reject racist beliefs, thoughts and actions."

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/darron-t-smith-phd/listen-white-people-only-_b_2708128.html

Women's Day

“How much better is silence; the coffee cup, the table...myself being myself.”

Uncovering the First, Fascinating Rulebook for Subway Sign Design

http://www.theatlanticcities.com/design/2013/03/guide-guiding-people-around-subway/4883/

Depression Chemical Imbalance Doesn’t Exist

Dr. Joanna Moncrieff, a mental health expert from the department of mental health services at University College in London is taking a quite non-politically-correct approach in characterizing anti-depressants and other mental health drugs as just another dependency.

She says that although doctors, the media, and society in general has latched on to the idea that depression and anxiety, for example, are just evidence of a “chemical imbalance” in the brain, there is no hard evidence to support this.

“Scientific research has not detected any reliable abnormalities of the serotonin system in people who are depressed.”

What if you went to a crime ridden street corner, suffering from depression, and were told that a certain drug could change how you felt about things? What if you went to your doctor and were told the same thing? While the corner drug dealer and your physician might have different drugs in mind, they are essentially offering a similar solution—putting you in a “drug-induced” state to minimize your negative symptoms. Doctors, the media, and society say there chemical imbalance which causes depression, but a depression chemical imbalance doesn’t exist.

It is frequently overlooked that drugs used in psychiatry are psychoactive drugs, like alcohol and cannabis. Psychoactive drugs make people feel different; they put people into an altered mental and physical state. They affect everyone, regardless of whether they have a mental disorder or not. Therefore, an alternative way of understanding how psychiatric drugs affect people is to look at the psychoactive effects they produce

She says that these drugs, like anti-depressants, often produce symptoms of other, illegal drugs. The difference—these are prescribed by medical professionals and marketed to the masses in a more acceptable way.

In decades past, there was a stigma associated with mental health drugs. While it’s debatable whether this stigma was justified, there’s little doubt that it did make people think twice about taking medication for depression.

Now, however, we are convinced that these drugs are correcting a defect in the brain. The drugs are correcting an “imbalance.” But the problem is, that imbalance has never been proven.

Sure, you can argue that your medication makes you feel better, but wouldn’t other psychoactive drugs make you feel better too?

Dr. Moncrieff isn’t suggesting that people take cheaper illegal drugs, since they may have similar effects, but instead wants people to really get real about their anti-depression or anti-anxiety medications– what are they really doing to themselves when they rise each morning and pop the same pill, occasionally having to up their dosage because their body has developed a tolerance.

And with the number of Americans on antidepressant medication estimated to be 1 in 10, perhaps a critical look at this drug trade is warranted.

http://truththeory.com/2012/07/17/depression-chemical-imbalance-doesnt-exist-experts-say/

"Focus on the positive and it will weed out the negative."

Things you take for granted .. get taken.
-Nas

Workin 10 hours a day just to be broke

-fashawn

"You don't know who you are until you lose who you are."

3/5/13