Tuesday, July 30, 2013
Monday, July 29, 2013
Explore. Dream. Discover.
"Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things you didn't do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade wind in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover."
~Mark Twain
Ok, so I'm diggin' Marky Mark here. We spend so much time wallowing in fear, which in turn, keeps us paralyzed. So what if you fall on your face? So what if you make a mess? At least you'll know that you tried. You won't ever look back and say, "Yep. Fear won." How liberating, right? So, what are the things you need to really go after? In twenty years time, what do you want to say about the life you lived? How you showed up? How you addressed your fear? Yeah. So, act like it. Today.
"Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things you didn't do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade wind in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover."
~Mark Twain
Ok, so I'm diggin' Marky Mark here. We spend so much time wallowing in fear, which in turn, keeps us paralyzed. So what if you fall on your face? So what if you make a mess? At least you'll know that you tried. You won't ever look back and say, "Yep. Fear won." How liberating, right? So, what are the things you need to really go after? In twenty years time, what do you want to say about the life you lived? How you showed up? How you addressed your fear? Yeah. So, act like it. Today.
Saturday, July 27, 2013
horoscope
ARIES: March 21 – April 20
Lots of things are converging all at once. You feel good enough about it to be there for it, in a much different way than you've gone about things in the past. If you could look down on your life from a bird's eye view you would see this as a period of change where all of the issues and problems from the past finally came to be resolved and understood. As intense as this feels you need to know that it goes with the territory any time we begin to get to the crux of the issue. Hang in there my friend; this is one huge test and it ain't over. You haven't seen anything yet.
Lots of things are converging all at once. You feel good enough about it to be there for it, in a much different way than you've gone about things in the past. If you could look down on your life from a bird's eye view you would see this as a period of change where all of the issues and problems from the past finally came to be resolved and understood. As intense as this feels you need to know that it goes with the territory any time we begin to get to the crux of the issue. Hang in there my friend; this is one huge test and it ain't over. You haven't seen anything yet.
Thursday, July 25, 2013
Wednesday, July 24, 2013
"Pain is one of life’s greatest catalysts. It can make you or can break you.
Although pain is not lessened by others feeling and sharing yours, there is a measure of comfort in being wrapped up in others’ concern. It can help you find strength and it can provide guidance and support as you try to get through each day."
http://www.newdaynewlesson.com/feeling-for-others-is-what-makes-humanity-great/
Although pain is not lessened by others feeling and sharing yours, there is a measure of comfort in being wrapped up in others’ concern. It can help you find strength and it can provide guidance and support as you try to get through each day."
http://www.newdaynewlesson.com/feeling-for-others-is-what-makes-humanity-great/
Self-esteem made simple
"By listing the values that are most important in my life at any given time, I am choosing to focus on them and work on them."
The more important our values, the more they will affect our self-esteem.
Sometimes we have values that clash, not because they’re opposites of each other, but because we can’t honor both at once.
For example, family and work are two of my values, and I find myself working more and having less time for my family. My family wants my attention and pulls at me. I want to feel fulfilled through work and career and that pulls at me.
The more my work value is being fulfilled, the more integrity I have with regard to that value. On the other hand, I am not living my family value with as much integrity as I would like to. When there’s a rift between how you’d like to honor a value, it leads to a loss of integrity.
That loss of integrity is the cause of lowered self-esteem.
If you have low self-esteem, that means you need to go back to your values and reassess how you can rearrange your life to feel like you are living with integrity based on what matters to you.
Integrity is built from a pattern of small and consistent actions. Little changes can indeed build into big changes. One step at a time, a little bit each time, really does work magic.
How Can I Work On Living My Values With Integrity?
Know your values.
Keep your values at the center of your awareness. Know when you have an internal conflict between values.
Walk the talk. Try to make sure you have integration between your values and actions.
Learn how to give things up. Ask yourself, “What am I really willing to sacrifice?” If you want to start a new career, maybe you need to learn to let other things go. And if you do decide to give things up, do it without feeling bad about it or feeling guilty. It is a decision.
See yourself as a unique person who has many resources.
Use the words: “I choose to_______” instead of helpless phrases like “I can’t because_________” or “I am like this because of_________”. You have a choice. You decide the circumstances.
Listen to the voices in your head which give you a litany of excuses why you can’t do something. Those voices don’t want change. They want to keep the status quo. Evict them.
Be authentic and be assertive. If you don’t want to do something, say you don’t want to do it.
Don’t beat around the bush. If something is important, go for it.
Visualize and plan. Know what you want and plan for it.
Self esteem is like a bank account. When you live your values with integrity, you are making deposits into the bank of self esteem. We can be rich or poor. We are the ones who decide how many deposits we make.
Know your values.
Keep your values at the center of your awareness. Know when you have an internal conflict between values.
Walk the talk. Try to make sure you have integration between your values and actions.
Learn how to give things up. Ask yourself, “What am I really willing to sacrifice?” If you want to start a new career, maybe you need to learn to let other things go. And if you do decide to give things up, do it without feeling bad about it or feeling guilty. It is a decision.
See yourself as a unique person who has many resources.
Use the words: “I choose to_______” instead of helpless phrases like “I can’t because_________” or “I am like this because of_________”. You have a choice. You decide the circumstances.
Listen to the voices in your head which give you a litany of excuses why you can’t do something. Those voices don’t want change. They want to keep the status quo. Evict them.
Be authentic and be assertive. If you don’t want to do something, say you don’t want to do it.
Don’t beat around the bush. If something is important, go for it.
Visualize and plan. Know what you want and plan for it.
Self esteem is like a bank account. When you live your values with integrity, you are making deposits into the bank of self esteem. We can be rich or poor. We are the ones who decide how many deposits we make.
Tuesday, July 23, 2013
my friend
Change only comes with demand
Hope, tension, resistance and struggle are key
Steve Honeyman
How often have you found changing something in your life to be difficult or impossible?
And before you can even want personal change, there must be some level of admission
that you are responsible for your present reality. You then need to have hope for something
better and be willing to demand change in yourself. To accept that tension and resistance and
struggle are essential components of change.
I experienced all of these stages when I stopped smoking some 13 years ago or in my never-
ending battle to live a healthier life, and still have fun. These stages of change are true for our
personal lives and also true in communities and our country and the world. It is all a part of the
physical laws of the universe. You try to move a heavy object and you feel the resistance in your
body. You try to change a way of doing or being in your life and you feel resistance, sometimes
in the form of fear, in your head and your heart. You try to change government to care about
children or treat people with disabilities with support and respect and you encounter resistance.
The key is an understanding, an appreciation of power in your personal life as well as in the
public and private sectors of our communities. Frederick Douglass, Abolitionist and Leader,
says it best..
“Power concedes nothing without demand. It never did and it never will…The limits of tyrants
are prescribed by the endurance of those who they oppress.” In our personal lives, we are
often our own tyrants. In our communities, the tyrants can be government or business
or those who promote only ego or greed.
In a recent campaign for early childhood education in Philadelphia, the resistance came in
the form of a claim that there were no resources available. The Philadelphia School District
chose to save money on the backs of our youngest children. The resistance came from city
government recognizing the importance of quality, early childhood education and but not being
willing to put their actions behind their words. The resistance came from the egos of those who
were more worried about who would get credit. But, once the community group promoting this
change made their demands known, the process of shifting power began. It was not easy; it never
is. People wanted to give up. At first, city government said no. But, as the demand grew, change
was on the horizon.
And so it is in fighting for better housing, in pushing for immigration reform, in trying to win
more resources for public education, in making sure we eliminate hunger, in really bridging the
digital divide. Past, present and future struggles always, are one in the same. Again, Frederick
Douglass is most eloquent…
“If there is no struggle, there is no progress. Those who profess to favor freedom, and yet depreciate
agitation, are men who want crops without plowing up the ground. They want rain without thunder
and lightning. They want the ocean without the awful roar of its many waters. This struggle may be a
moral one; or it may be a physical one; or it may be both moral and physical; but it must be a
struggle.”
Struggle for personal change and public change begins with hope and demand.
Hope, tension, resistance and struggle are key
Steve Honeyman
How often have you found changing something in your life to be difficult or impossible?
And before you can even want personal change, there must be some level of admission
that you are responsible for your present reality. You then need to have hope for something
better and be willing to demand change in yourself. To accept that tension and resistance and
struggle are essential components of change.
I experienced all of these stages when I stopped smoking some 13 years ago or in my never-
ending battle to live a healthier life, and still have fun. These stages of change are true for our
personal lives and also true in communities and our country and the world. It is all a part of the
physical laws of the universe. You try to move a heavy object and you feel the resistance in your
body. You try to change a way of doing or being in your life and you feel resistance, sometimes
in the form of fear, in your head and your heart. You try to change government to care about
children or treat people with disabilities with support and respect and you encounter resistance.
The key is an understanding, an appreciation of power in your personal life as well as in the
public and private sectors of our communities. Frederick Douglass, Abolitionist and Leader,
says it best..
“Power concedes nothing without demand. It never did and it never will…The limits of tyrants
are prescribed by the endurance of those who they oppress.” In our personal lives, we are
often our own tyrants. In our communities, the tyrants can be government or business
or those who promote only ego or greed.
In a recent campaign for early childhood education in Philadelphia, the resistance came in
the form of a claim that there were no resources available. The Philadelphia School District
chose to save money on the backs of our youngest children. The resistance came from city
government recognizing the importance of quality, early childhood education and but not being
willing to put their actions behind their words. The resistance came from the egos of those who
were more worried about who would get credit. But, once the community group promoting this
change made their demands known, the process of shifting power began. It was not easy; it never
is. People wanted to give up. At first, city government said no. But, as the demand grew, change
was on the horizon.
And so it is in fighting for better housing, in pushing for immigration reform, in trying to win
more resources for public education, in making sure we eliminate hunger, in really bridging the
digital divide. Past, present and future struggles always, are one in the same. Again, Frederick
Douglass is most eloquent…
“If there is no struggle, there is no progress. Those who profess to favor freedom, and yet depreciate
agitation, are men who want crops without plowing up the ground. They want rain without thunder
and lightning. They want the ocean without the awful roar of its many waters. This struggle may be a
moral one; or it may be a physical one; or it may be both moral and physical; but it must be a
struggle.”
Struggle for personal change and public change begins with hope and demand.
A place for negativity.
"Life is like photography. We develop from the negatives."
~Unknown
Ah, man. I just fell in love with this one, the moment I saw it. How's this for a perspective shift: What if that horrible thing you are going through right now or that awful person you can't stand... what if all that negativity is meant for your DEVELOPMENT. Meant to really teach you something? Make you stronger? You may not know what it is yet. It may take some time. But, if you find yourself stuck in a murky place, start toying with the idea that you WILL be a stronger person because of it. What if you start looking for the lesson instead of focusing on how shitty it is? Or better yet, what if you start CHOOSING that this will not define you. Not destroy you. And CHOOSING that you WILL overcome. You're move, ace.
"Life is like photography. We develop from the negatives."
~Unknown
Ah, man. I just fell in love with this one, the moment I saw it. How's this for a perspective shift: What if that horrible thing you are going through right now or that awful person you can't stand... what if all that negativity is meant for your DEVELOPMENT. Meant to really teach you something? Make you stronger? You may not know what it is yet. It may take some time. But, if you find yourself stuck in a murky place, start toying with the idea that you WILL be a stronger person because of it. What if you start looking for the lesson instead of focusing on how shitty it is? Or better yet, what if you start CHOOSING that this will not define you. Not destroy you. And CHOOSING that you WILL overcome. You're move, ace.
Sunday, July 21, 2013
Sometimes you give all you can give to a person and you get very little directly in return. But you got a mirror to the beauty of yourself, the strength of your love, and the light of your soul. And that is really one of the greatest gifts anyone can give to another. Be grateful for how the past has made you you and move forward.
Friday, July 19, 2013
What Matters Is the Choice You Make Right Now
Those changes are the result of changing my inner monologue from, “Why did I make such bad choices?” to “What’s the best choice I can make now?”
The biggest difference between me now and me then is that I no longer sit alone in shame, compounding negative feelings with self-judgment, which only keeps me feeling stuck.
I accept that I am human, and that a part of that is going through highs and lows. I know I will go through tough times, and I know I can bounce back when I do, even if it takes a while.
I have learned that we are not powerless. It may not always seem like it, but we have a say in what happens—and when events seem beyond our control, we have a say in how we respond to them.
That’s all we can ever control, and that’s what really matters: the choice we make right now.
The biggest difference between me now and me then is that I no longer sit alone in shame, compounding negative feelings with self-judgment, which only keeps me feeling stuck.
I accept that I am human, and that a part of that is going through highs and lows. I know I will go through tough times, and I know I can bounce back when I do, even if it takes a while.
I have learned that we are not powerless. It may not always seem like it, but we have a say in what happens—and when events seem beyond our control, we have a say in how we respond to them.
That’s all we can ever control, and that’s what really matters: the choice we make right now.
Making Friends When You’re Afraid People Won’t Understand You
There are a few things I remind myself to get out of this rut.
The more I get to know myself, the more I can predict my tendencies and practice self-care.
The more honest I am with others, the more honesty I am inviting from them, and the more likely I can help set the tone for intimacy.
The more people I come to contact with, the more likely I will come across individuals who might be healthier for me and be in a place to work with me.
The more people I come across, the more practice I will have in learning understanding, self-control, and compassion.
The more I obsess about making a mistake with a new person, the more likely I will.
Therefore, despite my failed friendships and relationships, I have strong conviction that the strongest relationships are those with deep commitment—and that the first and strongest relationship should be that which is with yourself.
I have committed to not let past fears and rejection hold me back. This commitment is a type of freedom in itself, and a small model of what I can aspire to in relationships with others.
Have you ever felt limited by the fear that others won’t understand you? What’s helped you overcome it?
The more I get to know myself, the more I can predict my tendencies and practice self-care.
The more honest I am with others, the more honesty I am inviting from them, and the more likely I can help set the tone for intimacy.
The more people I come to contact with, the more likely I will come across individuals who might be healthier for me and be in a place to work with me.
The more people I come across, the more practice I will have in learning understanding, self-control, and compassion.
The more I obsess about making a mistake with a new person, the more likely I will.
Therefore, despite my failed friendships and relationships, I have strong conviction that the strongest relationships are those with deep commitment—and that the first and strongest relationship should be that which is with yourself.
I have committed to not let past fears and rejection hold me back. This commitment is a type of freedom in itself, and a small model of what I can aspire to in relationships with others.
Have you ever felt limited by the fear that others won’t understand you? What’s helped you overcome it?
Opening Up to the Possibility of Love: 3 Things to Remember
1. Stay present and stay you.
During our conversation, I felt this urgent need to run and hide from the emotion building inside me. I felt like I wanted to crawl back inside my shell and disengage from the desire to open up completely to him.
We were obviously attracted to one another, but the old voices of fear of rejection and fear of not being good enough crept back into my head. I realized that I had gone through that when I was learning how to love and accept myself.
I had all of the preconceived notions of who I was or should be, and had to demystify all of that and realize that I am enough just the way I am. As is.
I had to continuously get myself back to my center, to focus on the present moment and trust in the process of being my authentic self, knowing that the person who was supposed to cross my path, would.
2. Live openly and honestly and speak from your heart.
As I learned to accept myself, I found that speaking from my heart became easier. It’s not that we deliberately try to deceive others, but we often do a good job of deceiving ourselves.
Trying to stop emotion and put up your defenses won’t do anyone any good. It may protect you in the short term, but you are the only one who will be harmed in the end. It will be you who misses out on true happiness and joy.
Things may not always turn out the way you envisioned, but there is no defeat in living with pure intention.
3. Go all in and accept that it may fail.
Part of discovering myself again was learning as I went along. But unlike times before when I was harsh and self-defeating when I made a misstep, I was kind with myself. I gave myself some encouragement, the benefit of the doubt, and got back up and continued the best I could.
When I finally trusted myself and accepted myself fully, I was able to mess up completely, yet be okay with it, because I knew I was doing my best and had set out with good intention.
In the same manner, I had to realize that I am not perfect and neither is my partner. Showing compassion when there is a misstep is what will make the bonds stronger. That is how I needed to view Rob and our budding relationship.
We had established similar core beliefs and journeys and now I had to trust in that as being the foundation for whatever was ahead of us.
If that meant faltering and deciding we were not as compatible as we first believed, then so be it. I couldn’t be disappointed if I gave it my all and at least attempted something amazing.
The phone call ended with me bumbling through my feelings pretty inefficiently. And wouldn’t you know it, he reciprocated and expressed relief about me bringing it up. He too felt like we had a connection and had great interest in pursuing it.
If there is one thing I could leave you with it would be this: Don’t harden yourself to that pure emotion. Open up and welcome it in. Let it flow through you. Let the tears well up in your eyes and say the things your heart whispers. The person who is meant to hear those words will.
During our conversation, I felt this urgent need to run and hide from the emotion building inside me. I felt like I wanted to crawl back inside my shell and disengage from the desire to open up completely to him.
We were obviously attracted to one another, but the old voices of fear of rejection and fear of not being good enough crept back into my head. I realized that I had gone through that when I was learning how to love and accept myself.
I had all of the preconceived notions of who I was or should be, and had to demystify all of that and realize that I am enough just the way I am. As is.
I had to continuously get myself back to my center, to focus on the present moment and trust in the process of being my authentic self, knowing that the person who was supposed to cross my path, would.
2. Live openly and honestly and speak from your heart.
As I learned to accept myself, I found that speaking from my heart became easier. It’s not that we deliberately try to deceive others, but we often do a good job of deceiving ourselves.
Trying to stop emotion and put up your defenses won’t do anyone any good. It may protect you in the short term, but you are the only one who will be harmed in the end. It will be you who misses out on true happiness and joy.
Things may not always turn out the way you envisioned, but there is no defeat in living with pure intention.
3. Go all in and accept that it may fail.
Part of discovering myself again was learning as I went along. But unlike times before when I was harsh and self-defeating when I made a misstep, I was kind with myself. I gave myself some encouragement, the benefit of the doubt, and got back up and continued the best I could.
When I finally trusted myself and accepted myself fully, I was able to mess up completely, yet be okay with it, because I knew I was doing my best and had set out with good intention.
In the same manner, I had to realize that I am not perfect and neither is my partner. Showing compassion when there is a misstep is what will make the bonds stronger. That is how I needed to view Rob and our budding relationship.
We had established similar core beliefs and journeys and now I had to trust in that as being the foundation for whatever was ahead of us.
If that meant faltering and deciding we were not as compatible as we first believed, then so be it. I couldn’t be disappointed if I gave it my all and at least attempted something amazing.
The phone call ended with me bumbling through my feelings pretty inefficiently. And wouldn’t you know it, he reciprocated and expressed relief about me bringing it up. He too felt like we had a connection and had great interest in pursuing it.
If there is one thing I could leave you with it would be this: Don’t harden yourself to that pure emotion. Open up and welcome it in. Let it flow through you. Let the tears well up in your eyes and say the things your heart whispers. The person who is meant to hear those words will.
5 Ways To Embrace Ending Friendships and Relationships
“Celebrate endings, for they precede new beginnings.” ~Jonathan Lockwood Huie
I believe people are brought together for each person’s maximum spiritual growth. When the growth is done, it’s time to move on.
That spiritual growth could take two minutes, two weeks, two months, two years, or a lifetime. Either way, when the time comes, the most powerful thing we can do is allow ourselves to move on and trust that everything is happening exactly as it should.
Sometimes outside circumstances seemingly force our relationships to shift and move apart; other times it’s a decision you consciously make to walk away. However it happens, below are some ways you can move through changing relationships in the most positive and powerful way possible:
1. Don’t be afraid.
As you learn and grow, so do your friendships and relationships. I really noticed this when I started committing to a spiritual practice everyday. My circle of friends completely shifted. This is nothing to fear.
It’s not a “good” or “bad’ thing, but it’s important to understand that throughout our lives, people are going to fall away. And who knows, they might be back, but all you do know now is that you’ve learned all that you can from each other at this time.
When relationships and/or friendships end or shift, there is nothing to fear. Whether or not you realize it, everything always works out the way it’s meant to.
2. Take responsibility.
If the break-up was messy, or the friendship ended in a not so positive way, take responsibility for it. When you get to the point where you no longer blame someone else for how you feel, miraculous shifts occur.
I often turn to my inner guide, the voice for love within me, and ask, “What is the spiritual lesson here?” Your power is always hidden behind the people and circumstance that disturb you the most.
As some of my recent friendships evolved and fell away, I’ve discovered areas within myself that needed to be healed. The purpose of the relationship or the friendship was to show me those areas. Relationships can be amazing tools that catapult us to another level of peace and love.
3. Trust that you always have everyone you need.
This tiny idea can bring massive amounts of peace to your day. What if you woke up every morning knowing that every person you needed that day would be brought to you?
I try and start my day with this idea because I immediately stop trying to control my reality, and instead, trust in my inner guidance a whole lot more.
There is no one missing from this moment whom you need right now. If you’re sitting in a chair with no other bodies around, that’s because in this moment, your soul does not need anyone else to learn from.
4. Get ready for new friendships and relationships.
When you create the space for friendships and relationships that are not working to fall away, get ready, because new people who are more in-line with what your soul most needs to learn are on their way! This only becomes a fearful process when you forget that you’re always guided and that everything happens for you, not to you.
5. Release your guilt.
As I got more and more committed to praying, connecting to my true self, and meditating, I felt deep in my heart it was time for me to make some shifts in my outer world. That decision involved moving across the entire country, far away from family and all my friends.
At first, a few of my close friends couldn’t understand why I was leaving, and for a brief moment I felt guilty about it. But I had to follow my path and trust that new people and experiences were on their way.
Other people may not understand why you’re making the decision to move on, but that doesn’t matter. You can’t control what other people think. Always trust your heart and never feel guilty for it.
No matter what, remember that every encounter is holy. Every person is a reflection of you. As you change, move, and grow, the reflections around you also change. Embrace them!
There is no need to fearfully cling to relationships and friendships that are not working anymore. Rather, get excited about the new ones that are surely on their way. All changes are helpful.
I believe people are brought together for each person’s maximum spiritual growth. When the growth is done, it’s time to move on.
That spiritual growth could take two minutes, two weeks, two months, two years, or a lifetime. Either way, when the time comes, the most powerful thing we can do is allow ourselves to move on and trust that everything is happening exactly as it should.
Sometimes outside circumstances seemingly force our relationships to shift and move apart; other times it’s a decision you consciously make to walk away. However it happens, below are some ways you can move through changing relationships in the most positive and powerful way possible:
1. Don’t be afraid.
As you learn and grow, so do your friendships and relationships. I really noticed this when I started committing to a spiritual practice everyday. My circle of friends completely shifted. This is nothing to fear.
It’s not a “good” or “bad’ thing, but it’s important to understand that throughout our lives, people are going to fall away. And who knows, they might be back, but all you do know now is that you’ve learned all that you can from each other at this time.
When relationships and/or friendships end or shift, there is nothing to fear. Whether or not you realize it, everything always works out the way it’s meant to.
2. Take responsibility.
If the break-up was messy, or the friendship ended in a not so positive way, take responsibility for it. When you get to the point where you no longer blame someone else for how you feel, miraculous shifts occur.
I often turn to my inner guide, the voice for love within me, and ask, “What is the spiritual lesson here?” Your power is always hidden behind the people and circumstance that disturb you the most.
As some of my recent friendships evolved and fell away, I’ve discovered areas within myself that needed to be healed. The purpose of the relationship or the friendship was to show me those areas. Relationships can be amazing tools that catapult us to another level of peace and love.
3. Trust that you always have everyone you need.
This tiny idea can bring massive amounts of peace to your day. What if you woke up every morning knowing that every person you needed that day would be brought to you?
I try and start my day with this idea because I immediately stop trying to control my reality, and instead, trust in my inner guidance a whole lot more.
There is no one missing from this moment whom you need right now. If you’re sitting in a chair with no other bodies around, that’s because in this moment, your soul does not need anyone else to learn from.
4. Get ready for new friendships and relationships.
When you create the space for friendships and relationships that are not working to fall away, get ready, because new people who are more in-line with what your soul most needs to learn are on their way! This only becomes a fearful process when you forget that you’re always guided and that everything happens for you, not to you.
5. Release your guilt.
As I got more and more committed to praying, connecting to my true self, and meditating, I felt deep in my heart it was time for me to make some shifts in my outer world. That decision involved moving across the entire country, far away from family and all my friends.
At first, a few of my close friends couldn’t understand why I was leaving, and for a brief moment I felt guilty about it. But I had to follow my path and trust that new people and experiences were on their way.
Other people may not understand why you’re making the decision to move on, but that doesn’t matter. You can’t control what other people think. Always trust your heart and never feel guilty for it.
No matter what, remember that every encounter is holy. Every person is a reflection of you. As you change, move, and grow, the reflections around you also change. Embrace them!
There is no need to fearfully cling to relationships and friendships that are not working anymore. Rather, get excited about the new ones that are surely on their way. All changes are helpful.
life purpose
“Don’t take life too seriously. You’ll never get out alive.” ~Elbert Hubbard
So I made it my mission to not take life so seriously and to learn to be present each day in order to find happiness within myself and for my new life. These were my daily mantras:
1. Give yourself some credit.
I took a big risk when I quit my job. I took an even bigger risk moving to an island. Rather than being down on myself for not having a career at the moment or not feeling like my life has a purpose, I give myself credit for the little things: learning Spanish a bit more, attempting to surf, taking pilates each week at a local studio, meeting new people.
When you are focusing on what you see as bad things, you are preventing the good from shining through.
Don’t be so hard on yourself. Take ten minutes of meditation time each day and thank yourself for it afterward. Get up early and make a healthy breakfast. Talk to someone new in line at the coffee shop. Notice the little things you are already doing each day for yourself.
2. Stop thinking so much.
Think of nothing for two whole minutes. Clear your mind. Don’t put effort into thinking about things that haven’t happened yet. It will just cause you worry. It’s too much for one little mind and it’s a waste of your time and energy.
I still catch myself in a whirlwind of thoughts each day and every time this happens, I stop, I take three deep breaths, I think about something positive, and I smile. There is always a reason to smile and less of a reason to worry.
3. It’s okay to take a break.
My family asked me why I was wasting a college degree and why I spent my 401k to move to an island. I didn’t have a straight answer for them, but I did know that I worked harder than I ever had for six years of my life, for almost twelve hours each day and put up with a lack of appreciation for what I did.
So it was okay if I took some time to do nothing. You don’t have to be achieving scientific discovery every day. It’s okay to take time to simply be and to experience life.
4. You don’t have to find your life purpose tomorrow.
I used to hate the saying “find what you love and go do it.” As if it’s so easy. But each day, don’t be afraid to attempt something new. In Puerto Rico, I have learned that I actually like oysters. I love being in the water. I am more creative than I thought I could be.
I still haven’t found what I love in life or what my “purpose” is, but trying is the only way to find it.
http://tinybuddha.com/blog/when-you-dont-have-a-clear-purpose-4-helpful-mantras/
So I made it my mission to not take life so seriously and to learn to be present each day in order to find happiness within myself and for my new life. These were my daily mantras:
1. Give yourself some credit.
I took a big risk when I quit my job. I took an even bigger risk moving to an island. Rather than being down on myself for not having a career at the moment or not feeling like my life has a purpose, I give myself credit for the little things: learning Spanish a bit more, attempting to surf, taking pilates each week at a local studio, meeting new people.
When you are focusing on what you see as bad things, you are preventing the good from shining through.
Don’t be so hard on yourself. Take ten minutes of meditation time each day and thank yourself for it afterward. Get up early and make a healthy breakfast. Talk to someone new in line at the coffee shop. Notice the little things you are already doing each day for yourself.
2. Stop thinking so much.
Think of nothing for two whole minutes. Clear your mind. Don’t put effort into thinking about things that haven’t happened yet. It will just cause you worry. It’s too much for one little mind and it’s a waste of your time and energy.
I still catch myself in a whirlwind of thoughts each day and every time this happens, I stop, I take three deep breaths, I think about something positive, and I smile. There is always a reason to smile and less of a reason to worry.
3. It’s okay to take a break.
My family asked me why I was wasting a college degree and why I spent my 401k to move to an island. I didn’t have a straight answer for them, but I did know that I worked harder than I ever had for six years of my life, for almost twelve hours each day and put up with a lack of appreciation for what I did.
So it was okay if I took some time to do nothing. You don’t have to be achieving scientific discovery every day. It’s okay to take time to simply be and to experience life.
4. You don’t have to find your life purpose tomorrow.
I used to hate the saying “find what you love and go do it.” As if it’s so easy. But each day, don’t be afraid to attempt something new. In Puerto Rico, I have learned that I actually like oysters. I love being in the water. I am more creative than I thought I could be.
I still haven’t found what I love in life or what my “purpose” is, but trying is the only way to find it.
http://tinybuddha.com/blog/when-you-dont-have-a-clear-purpose-4-helpful-mantras/
Wherever you go in your day—to the grocery store or to a new city, to a friend’s home or a different room of the house—be grateful that you will never escape yourself.
Be grateful that you have this lifetime to learn to love and accept yourself.
In a world so full of travel and movement, it is important we take a moment to pause and reflect on the sacredness of stillness and quietude within ourselves.
It is my wish that we can all sit comfortably in a chair someday as we soften in body and in heart, full of gray hairs and wrinkles—that we may smile widely from each memory contributing to our wear and know we really have nowhere to go.
Everything we need has been inside us from the start.
Be grateful that you have this lifetime to learn to love and accept yourself.
In a world so full of travel and movement, it is important we take a moment to pause and reflect on the sacredness of stillness and quietude within ourselves.
It is my wish that we can all sit comfortably in a chair someday as we soften in body and in heart, full of gray hairs and wrinkles—that we may smile widely from each memory contributing to our wear and know we really have nowhere to go.
Everything we need has been inside us from the start.
Thursday, July 18, 2013
17 Ways To Lose Weight Without Changing Your Schedule
The more you know about what your body really wants, the more likely you are to find a healthy alternative and feel satisfied.
http://www.buzzfeed.com/mackenziekruvant/17-ways-to-lose-weight-without-changing-your-schedule
Tuesday, July 16, 2013
7/16/13
Feeling absolutely amazing inside and out after a run along the lake. TFA Day meant we got off 1.5 hours early which was a surprise and is such a treat. To feel like I'm in a good place at 7:32 pm.
My kids are really being absorbed into my skin. I love those beauties. Their words and faces replay. How much progress we have made! Gosh, babies, I am going to miss you so.
Love,
Happily, steadily, confidently, vibrantly,
Heart and soul,
Jess
My kids are really being absorbed into my skin. I love those beauties. Their words and faces replay. How much progress we have made! Gosh, babies, I am going to miss you so.
Love,
Happily, steadily, confidently, vibrantly,
Heart and soul,
Jess
Monday, July 15, 2013
7/15/13
"who you are [doesn't guarantee] anything important about what you choose to mean in the context of others' lives."
7/15/13
"who you are [doesn't guarantee] anything important about what you choose to mean in the context of others' lives."
Critics choice.
"If you can't be criticized for it, it's probably not remarkable. Are you devoting yourself to something devoid of criticism?"
~Unknown
We spend so much effort worrying about pleasing everyone else... making sure we don't rock the boat... Catering to everyone else's opinion. But, what is the trade off? Not following one's own heart? Intuition? Speaking/living your truth? So what if people don't "get" you... they don't "get" your choices or decisions. Oh, well. You'll live. Let them criticize. Let them scoff. Because, at the end of the day, you've been REMARKABLE. And not for them. For you.
"If you can't be criticized for it, it's probably not remarkable. Are you devoting yourself to something devoid of criticism?"
~Unknown
We spend so much effort worrying about pleasing everyone else... making sure we don't rock the boat... Catering to everyone else's opinion. But, what is the trade off? Not following one's own heart? Intuition? Speaking/living your truth? So what if people don't "get" you... they don't "get" your choices or decisions. Oh, well. You'll live. Let them criticize. Let them scoff. Because, at the end of the day, you've been REMARKABLE. And not for them. For you.
Sunday, July 14, 2013
5 tips to break through creative blocks
Here are some of my tried and true ways to break through that creative block.
1. My first tip may seem counterintuitive but I can assure you it is the most important tip of all. When you hit a creative block accept it. It is part of the process. I’ve done a lot of research and have yet to find a creative person that doesn’t encounter a block here and there. You’re not only going to accept it, you’re going to lean into it. By leaning into it I mean sit back take a deep breathe and see it as a part of the whole creative process picture. By doing this you are not focusing on the block as something that is stopping you. You are focusing on the block as an integral part of the larger creative process.
2. Reread or look through what you were working on and hold some of the big ideas you were working on in your mind. Then, walk away from your desk and do something that does not require fixed thought. Take a walk, garden, mow the lawn, take a shower or just vegetate for a while. This gives your mind a chance to sort through things beneath your awareness while you are focused on the mindless task. This almost seems like a magic pill and has worked for me many times.
3. Tinker. Play around with it. And by it I mean the idea or the problem you’re having trouble connecting to the next step. Even when we are “engaged in the creative process” it can become mundane after a while and our way of approaching it can become habitual. Now this can both feed the process or block it. If you find that you are stuck in a habit when you’re creating. Try setting up or changing your work space. Add music to the scenario if you don’t normally listen to music when you create.
4. Breathe. When I’m blocked or frustrated my energy wanes. I feel like someone has let all the air out of my balloon. This is what makes encountering a block so counter productive. The depletion of energy and the feeling of being stuck is the thing that is most likely going to keep you blocked. This is why I will try to engage in an activity that restores my energy. I like Tai chi because after a few minutes I feel reconnected to my life force “chi” which will help me move past the block.
5. My last tip is for those of you who continue to struggle with tapping into creativity. Go and write anything for 5 minutes. Or grab a piece of paper and doodle for 5 minutes. Just let yourself explore and don’t judge. Creativity is a muscle like any other and it needs to be exercised. The best way to exercise it is to take action. None of our creative projects start off as masterpieces. Each time you engage in the process you’re building your creative muscle. After many years of being disconnected from creativity, I started exercising my creative muscle by painting furniture. Little did I know that would lead me on a creative journey to the rainbow framework.
So dive into the yellow realm and express your creative side and when those blocks pop up know that they are only a temporary part of the creative process.
- See more at: http://rainbowframework.com/5-tips-to-break-through-the-creative-blocks/#sthash.EsD4TKdL.dpuf
1. My first tip may seem counterintuitive but I can assure you it is the most important tip of all. When you hit a creative block accept it. It is part of the process. I’ve done a lot of research and have yet to find a creative person that doesn’t encounter a block here and there. You’re not only going to accept it, you’re going to lean into it. By leaning into it I mean sit back take a deep breathe and see it as a part of the whole creative process picture. By doing this you are not focusing on the block as something that is stopping you. You are focusing on the block as an integral part of the larger creative process.
2. Reread or look through what you were working on and hold some of the big ideas you were working on in your mind. Then, walk away from your desk and do something that does not require fixed thought. Take a walk, garden, mow the lawn, take a shower or just vegetate for a while. This gives your mind a chance to sort through things beneath your awareness while you are focused on the mindless task. This almost seems like a magic pill and has worked for me many times.
3. Tinker. Play around with it. And by it I mean the idea or the problem you’re having trouble connecting to the next step. Even when we are “engaged in the creative process” it can become mundane after a while and our way of approaching it can become habitual. Now this can both feed the process or block it. If you find that you are stuck in a habit when you’re creating. Try setting up or changing your work space. Add music to the scenario if you don’t normally listen to music when you create.
4. Breathe. When I’m blocked or frustrated my energy wanes. I feel like someone has let all the air out of my balloon. This is what makes encountering a block so counter productive. The depletion of energy and the feeling of being stuck is the thing that is most likely going to keep you blocked. This is why I will try to engage in an activity that restores my energy. I like Tai chi because after a few minutes I feel reconnected to my life force “chi” which will help me move past the block.
5. My last tip is for those of you who continue to struggle with tapping into creativity. Go and write anything for 5 minutes. Or grab a piece of paper and doodle for 5 minutes. Just let yourself explore and don’t judge. Creativity is a muscle like any other and it needs to be exercised. The best way to exercise it is to take action. None of our creative projects start off as masterpieces. Each time you engage in the process you’re building your creative muscle. After many years of being disconnected from creativity, I started exercising my creative muscle by painting furniture. Little did I know that would lead me on a creative journey to the rainbow framework.
So dive into the yellow realm and express your creative side and when those blocks pop up know that they are only a temporary part of the creative process.
- See more at: http://rainbowframework.com/5-tips-to-break-through-the-creative-blocks/#sthash.EsD4TKdL.dpuf
10 Ways to Enjoy More: What’s Your Guilty Pleasure?
10 Ways to Enjoy More: What’s Your Guilty Pleasure?
“Happiness consists of living each day as if it were the first day of your honeymoon and the last day of your vacation.” ~Leo Tolstoy
For as long as I can remember, I’ve had an epic list of guilty pleasures.
As a young girl, my top three guilty pleasures included dressing up and dancing in my living room to Madonna (“Annnnd…VOGUE!”), watching over-the-top nighttime dramas with my mom over bowls of Breyer’s vanilla ice cream (“Kevin…I’m pregnant! And you’re not the father!”), and penning addictive, soap-opera-worthy novellas about the kids in my fifth grade class (they’d line up and beg for the next chapter).
I found so much joy and fulfillment in those activities. And while I jokingly call them “guilty pleasures,” I never felt a single pang of remorse.
As a grown-up girl, my guilty pleasures follow a similar strain: booty-shaking hip-hop classes, binge-watching Game of Thrones, and eating anything with the words “chocolate” and “peanut butter” (or both).
Oh, and I’m penning a screenplay that’s one-part erotic paranormal romance, and one-part political thriller. (Obviously.)
Clearly, I’ve got a lifelong passion for guilty pleasures—and I’m fascinated by how our bodies respond to our favorite ones.
How our boundaries dissolve. How our curiosity ignites. How we find ourselves with an insatiable need to indulge (NOW!) before we explode with anticipation. (If you’re hopelessly addicted to any juicy TV series, you know what I’m talking about.)
Guilty pleasures are exhilarating, and there’s no denying that they bring oodles of fun to our lives.
So, why don’t we indulge in these pleasures more often?
I believe the word “guilty” may be the culprit. For some of us, it’s hard to even say the phrase “guilty pleasure” without feeling a prickle of shame.
And that semantic buzz kill needs a definition makeover.
I’ve decided to re-define the term “guilty pleasure” as something that ignites and electrifies you in a way that should be totally illegal, but isn’t. It’s something you should enjoy every day, with wild abandon. It doesn’t (necessarily) have to be unhealthy or calorie-laden, but it’s got to feel decadent.
Now that you have complete permission to pursue your most electrifying passions, here’s a peek at 10 ways you can make your whole life feel like one big guilty pleasure.
Go ahead—indulge.
1. Schedule daily guilty pleasure breaks.
No more guilt means no more excuses to avoid partaking in your favorite pleasures.
You now have full permission to take a break from work and read that enticing gossip blog, catch up on the latest season of your favorite show, or revel in a romance novel (or audio-book—who’s gonna know?) and savor it while pumping away on the elliptical machine.
2. Spice up boring to-dos.
Loathe folding laundry? Detest doing the dishes? Crying into Quicken? Crank up the music that makes you grin like a goofball (classic Justin Timberlake, anyone?) and shimmy while doing your chores. Even Gwyneth Paltrow rocks 90s hip hop while cooking her uber-healthy, organic meals.
3. Create guilty pleasure play dates.
Stuck in an “activity rut” with your significant other, family, and friends? Instead of dinner at “the usual place,” infuse your favorite guilty pleasures into your play dates. Get creative: host an at-home triathlon (video game competition, quickie card game, or a cupcake-eating contest!) or take a guided ghost tour of haunted historical buildings in your city. Spooky!
4. Just giggle.
Nothing lowers stress like a good chuckle. Create a giggle bank of hilarious YouTube videos (the boys from Saturday Night Live + T-Pain = win!), Awkward Family Photos, and hilarious blog posts (The Bloggess never fails). Get yourself in stitches, daily.
5. Try something brand new.
For an instant boost of pleasure and adrenaline, try something you’ve never done before, but always fantasized about. Channel your inner Gustav Klimt at a nude figure-drawing class (Dr. Sketchy’s Anti-Art School is always a delight!), find your local Ultimate Frisbee League, or try an aerial yoga class.
Give yourself permission, and enjoy every clumsy attempt. You may spark a new lifelong hobby!
6. Do a tedium detox.
This kind of “detox” isn’t about gulping kale-infused liquids. It’s about clearing out everything that’s tired, tedious, and boring.
Rummage through your closet and get rid of anything that doesn’t make you feel like a million bucks. Donate old books you’re never going to read, toss stale ingredients that hog your cabinets, and chuck dusty relics that make your home feel like a cluttered mess.
Once you cleanse the un-pleasurable, fill those spaces with items that delight and inspire. (Or, just leave some empty space. Ahhhh.)
7. Try on a new character.
Ever wish you were a Sherlock Holmes-worthy super spy? Or an adorkable hipster like Zooey Deschanel? A head-turning hunk, or traffic-stopping bombshell?
Instead of throwing on your usual “uniform” in the morning, try dressing like your alter-ago—and live out your day as this new character. This could mean a little harmless flirting with the local barista, strolling through the city in a bright sundress with a parasol, or jotting down secret notes as you observe passersby, at an outdoor cafe.
8. Make pampering a priority.
Ladies, remember how much fun it was to play with scented lotions, glittery nail polish, and cake-batter-flavored lip gloss when you were a tween?
Primping and pampering yourself is (still) absolutely essential. Bring back the joy with a quickie 10-minute scalp massage, a mini-pedicure, or a pre-bedtime back rub from your partner. To keep it simple, just take a few extra moments in the shower to lather up and let your mind wander. Completely cathartic.
9. Keep conversations centered on pleasure.
I once read—in a glossy magazine, of course—that the French find it rude to discuss work, religion, or politics at dinner parties, and focus their banter on movies, art, and music. Infuse every conversation with joie de vivre by asking, “So, what are your favorite guilty pleasures?”
You can enjoy a conversation with anyone if you shift the conversation to pleasure.
10. Build a guilty pleasure emergency kit.
If you suffer from excruciating headaches, you probably tote a mini-emergency kit around in your handbag or briefcase. Why not build a Guilty Pleasure Emergency Kit for a mood-boosting pick-me-up?
Put together a bundle of scintillating magazines, juicy novels, caramel-laced chocolate (or whatever floats your pleasure-boat) and label it “For Emergency Use Only.”
Of course, you may find yourself “inventing” a dire emergency (“What?! The post office is closed on Sundays?!”) just to give yourself a reason to indulge. And that’s just fine.
It’ll be our delicious little secret.
“Happiness consists of living each day as if it were the first day of your honeymoon and the last day of your vacation.” ~Leo Tolstoy
For as long as I can remember, I’ve had an epic list of guilty pleasures.
As a young girl, my top three guilty pleasures included dressing up and dancing in my living room to Madonna (“Annnnd…VOGUE!”), watching over-the-top nighttime dramas with my mom over bowls of Breyer’s vanilla ice cream (“Kevin…I’m pregnant! And you’re not the father!”), and penning addictive, soap-opera-worthy novellas about the kids in my fifth grade class (they’d line up and beg for the next chapter).
I found so much joy and fulfillment in those activities. And while I jokingly call them “guilty pleasures,” I never felt a single pang of remorse.
As a grown-up girl, my guilty pleasures follow a similar strain: booty-shaking hip-hop classes, binge-watching Game of Thrones, and eating anything with the words “chocolate” and “peanut butter” (or both).
Oh, and I’m penning a screenplay that’s one-part erotic paranormal romance, and one-part political thriller. (Obviously.)
Clearly, I’ve got a lifelong passion for guilty pleasures—and I’m fascinated by how our bodies respond to our favorite ones.
How our boundaries dissolve. How our curiosity ignites. How we find ourselves with an insatiable need to indulge (NOW!) before we explode with anticipation. (If you’re hopelessly addicted to any juicy TV series, you know what I’m talking about.)
Guilty pleasures are exhilarating, and there’s no denying that they bring oodles of fun to our lives.
So, why don’t we indulge in these pleasures more often?
I believe the word “guilty” may be the culprit. For some of us, it’s hard to even say the phrase “guilty pleasure” without feeling a prickle of shame.
And that semantic buzz kill needs a definition makeover.
I’ve decided to re-define the term “guilty pleasure” as something that ignites and electrifies you in a way that should be totally illegal, but isn’t. It’s something you should enjoy every day, with wild abandon. It doesn’t (necessarily) have to be unhealthy or calorie-laden, but it’s got to feel decadent.
Now that you have complete permission to pursue your most electrifying passions, here’s a peek at 10 ways you can make your whole life feel like one big guilty pleasure.
Go ahead—indulge.
1. Schedule daily guilty pleasure breaks.
No more guilt means no more excuses to avoid partaking in your favorite pleasures.
You now have full permission to take a break from work and read that enticing gossip blog, catch up on the latest season of your favorite show, or revel in a romance novel (or audio-book—who’s gonna know?) and savor it while pumping away on the elliptical machine.
2. Spice up boring to-dos.
Loathe folding laundry? Detest doing the dishes? Crying into Quicken? Crank up the music that makes you grin like a goofball (classic Justin Timberlake, anyone?) and shimmy while doing your chores. Even Gwyneth Paltrow rocks 90s hip hop while cooking her uber-healthy, organic meals.
3. Create guilty pleasure play dates.
Stuck in an “activity rut” with your significant other, family, and friends? Instead of dinner at “the usual place,” infuse your favorite guilty pleasures into your play dates. Get creative: host an at-home triathlon (video game competition, quickie card game, or a cupcake-eating contest!) or take a guided ghost tour of haunted historical buildings in your city. Spooky!
4. Just giggle.
Nothing lowers stress like a good chuckle. Create a giggle bank of hilarious YouTube videos (the boys from Saturday Night Live + T-Pain = win!), Awkward Family Photos, and hilarious blog posts (The Bloggess never fails). Get yourself in stitches, daily.
5. Try something brand new.
For an instant boost of pleasure and adrenaline, try something you’ve never done before, but always fantasized about. Channel your inner Gustav Klimt at a nude figure-drawing class (Dr. Sketchy’s Anti-Art School is always a delight!), find your local Ultimate Frisbee League, or try an aerial yoga class.
Give yourself permission, and enjoy every clumsy attempt. You may spark a new lifelong hobby!
6. Do a tedium detox.
This kind of “detox” isn’t about gulping kale-infused liquids. It’s about clearing out everything that’s tired, tedious, and boring.
Rummage through your closet and get rid of anything that doesn’t make you feel like a million bucks. Donate old books you’re never going to read, toss stale ingredients that hog your cabinets, and chuck dusty relics that make your home feel like a cluttered mess.
Once you cleanse the un-pleasurable, fill those spaces with items that delight and inspire. (Or, just leave some empty space. Ahhhh.)
7. Try on a new character.
Ever wish you were a Sherlock Holmes-worthy super spy? Or an adorkable hipster like Zooey Deschanel? A head-turning hunk, or traffic-stopping bombshell?
Instead of throwing on your usual “uniform” in the morning, try dressing like your alter-ago—and live out your day as this new character. This could mean a little harmless flirting with the local barista, strolling through the city in a bright sundress with a parasol, or jotting down secret notes as you observe passersby, at an outdoor cafe.
8. Make pampering a priority.
Ladies, remember how much fun it was to play with scented lotions, glittery nail polish, and cake-batter-flavored lip gloss when you were a tween?
Primping and pampering yourself is (still) absolutely essential. Bring back the joy with a quickie 10-minute scalp massage, a mini-pedicure, or a pre-bedtime back rub from your partner. To keep it simple, just take a few extra moments in the shower to lather up and let your mind wander. Completely cathartic.
9. Keep conversations centered on pleasure.
I once read—in a glossy magazine, of course—that the French find it rude to discuss work, religion, or politics at dinner parties, and focus their banter on movies, art, and music. Infuse every conversation with joie de vivre by asking, “So, what are your favorite guilty pleasures?”
You can enjoy a conversation with anyone if you shift the conversation to pleasure.
10. Build a guilty pleasure emergency kit.
If you suffer from excruciating headaches, you probably tote a mini-emergency kit around in your handbag or briefcase. Why not build a Guilty Pleasure Emergency Kit for a mood-boosting pick-me-up?
Put together a bundle of scintillating magazines, juicy novels, caramel-laced chocolate (or whatever floats your pleasure-boat) and label it “For Emergency Use Only.”
Of course, you may find yourself “inventing” a dire emergency (“What?! The post office is closed on Sundays?!”) just to give yourself a reason to indulge. And that’s just fine.
It’ll be our delicious little secret.
Saturday, July 13, 2013
Wednesday, July 10, 2013
BEAT or be beat.
resilience. Comes after a real talk with oneself.
Aligned focus.
These are messages to myself.
Do not be so quick to compromise your IDENTITY for a cause. It MUST align with your cause because you cannot escape yourself. You need to THRIVE to succeed, not just survive. Because aiming just for survival and getting things done as needed is really a slow death.
K.O.S. Always pushing forward. No settling for less. Holding myself to a high standard. Being the person I want to be. And being the person I want my kids to be like.
Thank you God for your presence. Thank you for music.
Genuine happiness.
resilience. Comes after a real talk with oneself.
Aligned focus.
These are messages to myself.
Do not be so quick to compromise your IDENTITY for a cause. It MUST align with your cause because you cannot escape yourself. You need to THRIVE to succeed, not just survive. Because aiming just for survival and getting things done as needed is really a slow death.
K.O.S. Always pushing forward. No settling for less. Holding myself to a high standard. Being the person I want to be. And being the person I want my kids to be like.
Thank you God for your presence. Thank you for music.
Genuine happiness.
Daily realizations
Tuning equations
All throughout the day
Feeling down
Sad
Crying
Triggered emotionally
Yeah,
it's a struggle right now
We are all in the struggle
But it's important to get a mind out of body experience
To take a step back
And realize that I CAN feel
That I have all these children to be better for
Since it's so hard just to do it for myself
Pursue happiness for myself
I must project my energy to do it for THEM
I'm so used to meaning so much to people
Feeling like my energy is wanted, needed, and cherished in this universe
I got so used to being the happy, positive one
The loving and inspiring one
And when I feel that's dead even if it's just a MISCONCEPTION,
I start to feel like I'm dying inside.
I think life is actually quite simple.
I think I just want to be needed
To love myself and BE MYSELF
To just "DO ME"
Not over-thinking
Just being -
FREE
PEACEFUL
HAPPY
LOVING
All of this is supposed to happen to me.
All of this is supposed to happen.
It will make me better.
Tuning equations
All throughout the day
Feeling down
Sad
Crying
Triggered emotionally
Yeah,
it's a struggle right now
We are all in the struggle
But it's important to get a mind out of body experience
To take a step back
And realize that I CAN feel
That I have all these children to be better for
Since it's so hard just to do it for myself
Pursue happiness for myself
I must project my energy to do it for THEM
I'm so used to meaning so much to people
Feeling like my energy is wanted, needed, and cherished in this universe
I got so used to being the happy, positive one
The loving and inspiring one
And when I feel that's dead even if it's just a MISCONCEPTION,
I start to feel like I'm dying inside.
I think life is actually quite simple.
I think I just want to be needed
To love myself and BE MYSELF
To just "DO ME"
Not over-thinking
Just being -
FREE
PEACEFUL
HAPPY
LOVING
All of this is supposed to happen to me.
All of this is supposed to happen.
It will make me better.
Tuesday, July 9, 2013
7/9/13
wake up wet in sweat
spots of water on my bed sheet
fell asleep in an air-conditioned room
woke up wet, moist from sweat
showered in the heat
returned to a cold room
went outside to a humid and hot atmosphere
got on the bus
took off jacket
sweat and heat coming out of the body
got into the school
air conditioned room.
spots of water on my bed sheet
fell asleep in an air-conditioned room
woke up wet, moist from sweat
showered in the heat
returned to a cold room
went outside to a humid and hot atmosphere
got on the bus
took off jacket
sweat and heat coming out of the body
got into the school
air conditioned room.
Monday, July 8, 2013
As luck
wouldn't have it.
"There is no chance, no destiny, no fate, that can hinder or control the firm resolve of a determined soul."
~Ella Wheeler Wilcox
It's not about how you were raised. What was handed to you and what wasn't. Doesn't matter what gods are in your favor. How your cards have been dealt. It's about one thing: Your DETERMINATION. Desire trumps social class. Determination trumps shallow pockets. In short, YOU and you alone get to determine your path. Whatever you desire and put your heart and soul into, you WILL achieve. Let go of your excuses and DO.
wouldn't have it.
"There is no chance, no destiny, no fate, that can hinder or control the firm resolve of a determined soul."
~Ella Wheeler Wilcox
It's not about how you were raised. What was handed to you and what wasn't. Doesn't matter what gods are in your favor. How your cards have been dealt. It's about one thing: Your DETERMINATION. Desire trumps social class. Determination trumps shallow pockets. In short, YOU and you alone get to determine your path. Whatever you desire and put your heart and soul into, you WILL achieve. Let go of your excuses and DO.
Sunday, July 7, 2013
***Simple Technique to Stop Negative Thoughts***
In my early 20s I experienced a personal breakdown as a result of storing repressed memories and emotions associated to various incidents over the years. My mental health decided that one day it was giving up and went into self sabotage and desolation. I would wake up every day feeling numb and exhausted. I would have terrible visualizations that something bad was going to happen. I even had flashes of harrowing pictures involving the people I deeply cared about. Every day seemed like an uphill struggle and lacked any feelings of excitement about anything. It never used to take much to get me excited (as I was such a positive person), but during this time I could never get into that excited, happy state. I would go out and spend money on a whim in the hope that it would give me a buzz, make me feel a bit more alive inside. Of course, it never did
I was very conscious that as a naturally happy person I was feeling very different. I remember vividly looking out into my garden and seeing a dark and grey border around the edges of my vision. It was like I was in a tunnel, and all I could see was what was in front of me. Every time a happy thought came into my mind, something horrible took it away by replacing it with something unpleasant. I put up with it for three years, and things started to get better as I took a course in homeopathy and naturally weaned myself off anti-depressants. The strange, sporadic flashes kept continuing, however, and I was worried that I was going to create or experience them. I was unable to fully control my thoughts, and I began to understand why a few years later.
I have always had a deep fascination with the psychology of the mind and decided to qualify in Neuro Linguistic Programming. During my studies, I began to understand how my mind was working, and the realization that I could literally manipulate my thoughts amazed me. I became a master of my own mind, and I am going to teach you how you can re-wire yours as well.
I am sure some of you reading this have experienced similar bizarre thoughts and visualizations. The unconscious mind is very powerful, dominating the conscious mind, playing tricks on us and causing us to think in negative ways. Of course, a common issue is the lack of serotonin in the brain which can create negative feelings, and many people turn to pills to try to balance it out. But, pills really only act as a plaster (I am not a doctor, though, and do not suggest that you stop taking them if you are on them). In my experience, I had terrible side effects from taking anti-depressants: my body would often reject them, and I tried out about six different types. Finally, I turned to an amazing therapist and homoeopathist who weaned me off them; I will always remember him to this day for that very reason.
Your deepest healing must start with identifying the root cause of your unhappiness. Many people are not even aware of their root causes, fighting against themselves but feeling mentally defeated and worn out. That is why it’s so important to work with a professional who can help you draw out the deeper underlying triggers; do not suffer alone.
My moment of clarity came when I realized that thoughts were simply that – a thought. I wasn’t going mad, but I had unconsciously anchored some very negative thought patterns because I was in a state of self sabotage. I had unconsciously learned to punish myself with a negative thought, whenever I was starting to feel positive again. I had simply learned a habit of thinking negatively during my experience of depression, and my mission was to undo this detrimental behavior.
The magic to finally alleviating this way of thinking came by being able to detach myself from the thought itself. I would acknowledge when one popped into my head, really notice the detail, thank it, and then let go of it. I removed any anxiety or fear around my thoughts, and by simply accepting them as thoughts, they disappeared over time.
Before I mastered NLP, the above process was extremely effective for me. I was actually achieving my own re-wiring without really being aware of what I was doing. The great news for you is that I am about to share an NLP technique which may speed up the process a bit:
When you find yourself thinking a negative thought, going back into a past memory or saying something which is detrimental to your well-being, follow this simple technique:
Find a quiet place where you can sit and not be interrupted, and close your eyes (you can keep your eyes open if it’s easier).
Bring in the thought, words or feelings that are causing you upset or discomfort.
Notice how they are making you feel, what you see, hear, smell or taste.
Decide what you would like to replace the thought, word or feeling with. Perhaps it might be something which smells nice, tastes nice or feels good. Perhaps you have a past happy memory which you could use to replace this thought. Really connect to the state.
Imagine or pretend to release the thought, word or feeling, so it is separate from you. Maybe you might want to imagine that it’s a particular color, shape or person, and see it as though it’s in front of you on the floor like an object.
When you are ready, using your imagination, bring in the positive thought or feeling which you’d like instead, and saturate the negative thought you see in front of you. Soak it, dowse it, drown it, and suffocate it!
Remain in that wonderful state of positivity until the negative thought has disappeared.
Come back into the room, look at the time, and do a quick jog on the spot… (trust me on that bit!).
I was very conscious that as a naturally happy person I was feeling very different. I remember vividly looking out into my garden and seeing a dark and grey border around the edges of my vision. It was like I was in a tunnel, and all I could see was what was in front of me. Every time a happy thought came into my mind, something horrible took it away by replacing it with something unpleasant. I put up with it for three years, and things started to get better as I took a course in homeopathy and naturally weaned myself off anti-depressants. The strange, sporadic flashes kept continuing, however, and I was worried that I was going to create or experience them. I was unable to fully control my thoughts, and I began to understand why a few years later.
I have always had a deep fascination with the psychology of the mind and decided to qualify in Neuro Linguistic Programming. During my studies, I began to understand how my mind was working, and the realization that I could literally manipulate my thoughts amazed me. I became a master of my own mind, and I am going to teach you how you can re-wire yours as well.
I am sure some of you reading this have experienced similar bizarre thoughts and visualizations. The unconscious mind is very powerful, dominating the conscious mind, playing tricks on us and causing us to think in negative ways. Of course, a common issue is the lack of serotonin in the brain which can create negative feelings, and many people turn to pills to try to balance it out. But, pills really only act as a plaster (I am not a doctor, though, and do not suggest that you stop taking them if you are on them). In my experience, I had terrible side effects from taking anti-depressants: my body would often reject them, and I tried out about six different types. Finally, I turned to an amazing therapist and homoeopathist who weaned me off them; I will always remember him to this day for that very reason.
Your deepest healing must start with identifying the root cause of your unhappiness. Many people are not even aware of their root causes, fighting against themselves but feeling mentally defeated and worn out. That is why it’s so important to work with a professional who can help you draw out the deeper underlying triggers; do not suffer alone.
My moment of clarity came when I realized that thoughts were simply that – a thought. I wasn’t going mad, but I had unconsciously anchored some very negative thought patterns because I was in a state of self sabotage. I had unconsciously learned to punish myself with a negative thought, whenever I was starting to feel positive again. I had simply learned a habit of thinking negatively during my experience of depression, and my mission was to undo this detrimental behavior.
The magic to finally alleviating this way of thinking came by being able to detach myself from the thought itself. I would acknowledge when one popped into my head, really notice the detail, thank it, and then let go of it. I removed any anxiety or fear around my thoughts, and by simply accepting them as thoughts, they disappeared over time.
Before I mastered NLP, the above process was extremely effective for me. I was actually achieving my own re-wiring without really being aware of what I was doing. The great news for you is that I am about to share an NLP technique which may speed up the process a bit:
When you find yourself thinking a negative thought, going back into a past memory or saying something which is detrimental to your well-being, follow this simple technique:
Find a quiet place where you can sit and not be interrupted, and close your eyes (you can keep your eyes open if it’s easier).
Bring in the thought, words or feelings that are causing you upset or discomfort.
Notice how they are making you feel, what you see, hear, smell or taste.
Decide what you would like to replace the thought, word or feeling with. Perhaps it might be something which smells nice, tastes nice or feels good. Perhaps you have a past happy memory which you could use to replace this thought. Really connect to the state.
Imagine or pretend to release the thought, word or feeling, so it is separate from you. Maybe you might want to imagine that it’s a particular color, shape or person, and see it as though it’s in front of you on the floor like an object.
When you are ready, using your imagination, bring in the positive thought or feeling which you’d like instead, and saturate the negative thought you see in front of you. Soak it, dowse it, drown it, and suffocate it!
Remain in that wonderful state of positivity until the negative thought has disappeared.
Come back into the room, look at the time, and do a quick jog on the spot… (trust me on that bit!).
Imperfection Is Lovable: Let Yourself Be
Announcement: Wish you could change your past? Take a 5-minute quiz to feel better about life!
Imperfection Is Lovable: Let Yourself Be
By Denise Dare
“You’re imperfect, and you’re wired for struggle, but you are worthy of love and belonging.” ~Brene Brown
We are all perfectly imperfect just as we are.
Yes, it’s true. Sometimes hard to believe, but always the truth. Believe me.
I’ve always recognized that I am a perfectionist.
I was the little girl who wanted to know how to play the piano at my first lesson, how to roller blade the first time I tried, how to do the splits at my first gymnastics class.
I’ve always wanted to do it right the first time.
On the one hand, I appreciate my intention to do and be my best at whatever I do, but on the other hand, I see how this mentality has often paralyzed my efforts and prevented me from daring and learning to be brilliant.
The one practice I’ve committed to in my life, where I’ve been willing to be less than perfect, and continue to embrace each day, is yoga.
The meditative quality, the healing breath, the invigorating movement all resonate with me and remind me to just be where and who I am, in each moment.
It’s been fifteen years now since I began my yoga practice in an effort to release the tension in my neck that was triggering chronic headaches during my first year studying at UCLA.
I felt transformed after my very first yoga class and just knew that I would grow and expand with my practice.
In the beginning, most of my transformation was physical—feeling more relaxed, open, energized, and flexible. In recent years, my practice has guided me to expand my perspective, and I find myself open to understanding life anew.
I’m discovering new ways of being and of seeing the world.
Just two months ago I had a revelation.
I was communicating with a life coach who is an incredible listener, endeavoring to understand why I was constantly feeling challenged in my relationship with my husband. Together, we realized that I was creating the same expectations of perfection for him as I had carried for myself since childhood.
A memory surfaced: me, around twelve years old, sharing my report card with my father.
“Why are they not all As?” he questioned unapologetically.
I glanced at my grades, noticing that I’d earned six As and one B+, and said, “I did my best.”
“I expect all As next time,” he firmly instructed.
“I’ll do better,” I submissively acquiesced.
And this stuck. The need to do better than my best. The desire to be better than myself. I wanted my father’s approval. I wanted my father’s love. I wanted my father’s attention. And so, I worked even harder and earned a 4.0 GPA each semester.
But you know what? It was never enough.
I never felt enough. I never could earn the love and attention that I desperately craved from him.
I needed to look within myself.
Now, some twenty years later, I’m still struggling with my tendency toward perfectionism.
This insight is life changing: A chance to understand myself better. A reflection of how and why I choose to think and act the way I do. An opportunity to acknowledge that I’ve associated being perfect with being lovable.
Now, without judgment or criticism for myself or my father, I have the choice to change.
I can choose to shift my perspective and tell a new story. I choose to embrace a new truth…
Imperfection is lovable.
With this knowledge, I see my relationship with myself and with my husband, my children, my family, my friends—with life itself—in a new light.
We are perfecting.
And who wants to be perfect anyway? How boring that would be!
The most fun is in the growing, in the expansion, in the learning and becoming ever more who we are.
I release the compulsion to be perfect, to constantly achieve, do more, handle every task on my to do list immediately.
I allow myself to be more present, to be in the moment, to remember what matters most: love.
I can let go of always doing and instead let myself be. I can stop rushing around handling tasks, and allow myself to stop and smell the roses with my daughters, kiss my husband, call a friend, stare in wonder at the beauty of our universe.
I am worthy of love, I know I belong, I recognize my life has meaning, and I give myself permission to take it easy and just be me.
I embrace this truth:
I am good enough. I do enough. I have enough. I work enough. I love enough. I am beautiful enough. I am smart enough.
I am enough.
Can you say this to yourself and really mean it? Practice. Notice how it feels.
With this new perspective, everything blossoms.
I allow myself to make mistakes without being judgmental.
I give others space to be imperfect without being critical.
I allow myself to be me.
I allow myself to love me just as I am.
I allow myself to love others just as they are.
Whenever I begin to lose focus of this reassuring truth, when I start to feel overwhelmed by all the “shoulds” and judgments in my mind, I sit in stillness in my meditation space.
I read the words I’ve etched on my chalkboard wall:
I am enough. Surrender. Live and Let Live. Imperfection is lovable. Be human.
Immersed in the sensation of my breath, I choose to focus my mind on these powerful truths. Soon, I relax into the comfort of knowing that all is well. And I begin again the journey of self-love and acceptance.
I am grateful for being where I am, for all the wisdom and love so many gracious and kind people have shared, and for the powerful practice of yoga that encourages self-awareness and growth.
I am grateful for the opportunity to recognize the perfection in our imperfection and to use this wisdom to infinitely improve my interactions with the people I love the most.
Our minds are powerful. Our thoughts are powerful. Our love is powerful.
Let us choose to focus on the good, appreciate who we are, share our love unconditionally.
Let us remember that we are enough.
Let us embrace our value and know we belong.
Let us always remember that our imperfections are lovable.
Can you practice loving yourself and others unconditionally today?
Every beautiful journey and inspiring transformation begins with an intention and moving in the direction of where you hope to be.
Wishing you ease in loving and freedom to be just who you are.
Be human. Be perfectly imperfect. Be you. Just be.
Imperfection Is Lovable: Let Yourself Be
By Denise Dare
“You’re imperfect, and you’re wired for struggle, but you are worthy of love and belonging.” ~Brene Brown
We are all perfectly imperfect just as we are.
Yes, it’s true. Sometimes hard to believe, but always the truth. Believe me.
I’ve always recognized that I am a perfectionist.
I was the little girl who wanted to know how to play the piano at my first lesson, how to roller blade the first time I tried, how to do the splits at my first gymnastics class.
I’ve always wanted to do it right the first time.
On the one hand, I appreciate my intention to do and be my best at whatever I do, but on the other hand, I see how this mentality has often paralyzed my efforts and prevented me from daring and learning to be brilliant.
The one practice I’ve committed to in my life, where I’ve been willing to be less than perfect, and continue to embrace each day, is yoga.
The meditative quality, the healing breath, the invigorating movement all resonate with me and remind me to just be where and who I am, in each moment.
It’s been fifteen years now since I began my yoga practice in an effort to release the tension in my neck that was triggering chronic headaches during my first year studying at UCLA.
I felt transformed after my very first yoga class and just knew that I would grow and expand with my practice.
In the beginning, most of my transformation was physical—feeling more relaxed, open, energized, and flexible. In recent years, my practice has guided me to expand my perspective, and I find myself open to understanding life anew.
I’m discovering new ways of being and of seeing the world.
Just two months ago I had a revelation.
I was communicating with a life coach who is an incredible listener, endeavoring to understand why I was constantly feeling challenged in my relationship with my husband. Together, we realized that I was creating the same expectations of perfection for him as I had carried for myself since childhood.
A memory surfaced: me, around twelve years old, sharing my report card with my father.
“Why are they not all As?” he questioned unapologetically.
I glanced at my grades, noticing that I’d earned six As and one B+, and said, “I did my best.”
“I expect all As next time,” he firmly instructed.
“I’ll do better,” I submissively acquiesced.
And this stuck. The need to do better than my best. The desire to be better than myself. I wanted my father’s approval. I wanted my father’s love. I wanted my father’s attention. And so, I worked even harder and earned a 4.0 GPA each semester.
But you know what? It was never enough.
I never felt enough. I never could earn the love and attention that I desperately craved from him.
I needed to look within myself.
Now, some twenty years later, I’m still struggling with my tendency toward perfectionism.
This insight is life changing: A chance to understand myself better. A reflection of how and why I choose to think and act the way I do. An opportunity to acknowledge that I’ve associated being perfect with being lovable.
Now, without judgment or criticism for myself or my father, I have the choice to change.
I can choose to shift my perspective and tell a new story. I choose to embrace a new truth…
Imperfection is lovable.
With this knowledge, I see my relationship with myself and with my husband, my children, my family, my friends—with life itself—in a new light.
We are perfecting.
And who wants to be perfect anyway? How boring that would be!
The most fun is in the growing, in the expansion, in the learning and becoming ever more who we are.
I release the compulsion to be perfect, to constantly achieve, do more, handle every task on my to do list immediately.
I allow myself to be more present, to be in the moment, to remember what matters most: love.
I can let go of always doing and instead let myself be. I can stop rushing around handling tasks, and allow myself to stop and smell the roses with my daughters, kiss my husband, call a friend, stare in wonder at the beauty of our universe.
I am worthy of love, I know I belong, I recognize my life has meaning, and I give myself permission to take it easy and just be me.
I embrace this truth:
I am good enough. I do enough. I have enough. I work enough. I love enough. I am beautiful enough. I am smart enough.
I am enough.
Can you say this to yourself and really mean it? Practice. Notice how it feels.
With this new perspective, everything blossoms.
I allow myself to make mistakes without being judgmental.
I give others space to be imperfect without being critical.
I allow myself to be me.
I allow myself to love me just as I am.
I allow myself to love others just as they are.
Whenever I begin to lose focus of this reassuring truth, when I start to feel overwhelmed by all the “shoulds” and judgments in my mind, I sit in stillness in my meditation space.
I read the words I’ve etched on my chalkboard wall:
I am enough. Surrender. Live and Let Live. Imperfection is lovable. Be human.
Immersed in the sensation of my breath, I choose to focus my mind on these powerful truths. Soon, I relax into the comfort of knowing that all is well. And I begin again the journey of self-love and acceptance.
I am grateful for being where I am, for all the wisdom and love so many gracious and kind people have shared, and for the powerful practice of yoga that encourages self-awareness and growth.
I am grateful for the opportunity to recognize the perfection in our imperfection and to use this wisdom to infinitely improve my interactions with the people I love the most.
Our minds are powerful. Our thoughts are powerful. Our love is powerful.
Let us choose to focus on the good, appreciate who we are, share our love unconditionally.
Let us remember that we are enough.
Let us embrace our value and know we belong.
Let us always remember that our imperfections are lovable.
Can you practice loving yourself and others unconditionally today?
Every beautiful journey and inspiring transformation begins with an intention and moving in the direction of where you hope to be.
Wishing you ease in loving and freedom to be just who you are.
Be human. Be perfectly imperfect. Be you. Just be.
Why Empathy Can Sometimes Help More Than Advice
I wanted a magical solution but it didn’t exist. Her empathy and acknowledgement of the challenge was all I needed. Like most advice, we seldom know we need it when we receive it. If it’s truly useful we absorb it and use it without thinking about it.
Remember, when someone calls for personal advice the most valuable thing we can do is acknowledge the situation without judgment and remind them that we care deeply. My mother does it with a Bostonian’s paucity of words. Most of us need to say more.
In an effort to remind myself of this lesson, I have created a simple picture of the old fashion telephone my mother used until very recently. I post the picture in my workspace where I receive the majority of my calls.
It’s there to remind me that most people do not want the instructions on “what to” or “how to” fix their problems, but rather to be reminded we care, are willing to listen and understand that sometimes life’s problems are not easy to solve.
Remember, when someone calls for personal advice the most valuable thing we can do is acknowledge the situation without judgment and remind them that we care deeply. My mother does it with a Bostonian’s paucity of words. Most of us need to say more.
In an effort to remind myself of this lesson, I have created a simple picture of the old fashion telephone my mother used until very recently. I post the picture in my workspace where I receive the majority of my calls.
It’s there to remind me that most people do not want the instructions on “what to” or “how to” fix their problems, but rather to be reminded we care, are willing to listen and understand that sometimes life’s problems are not easy to solve.
amen. I love being alone- Looking for Security: We Can Be Our Own Safe Places
“All the wonders you seek are within yourself.”
While it is true that we are social beings and we need others to survive, we all are own safe places. We do not need to depend on others. We can stand on our own two feet and establish our own home bases. We can make it alone; we just like having loved ones with us.
While it is true that we are social beings and we need others to survive, we all are own safe places. We do not need to depend on others. We can stand on our own two feet and establish our own home bases. We can make it alone; we just like having loved ones with us.
Saturday, July 6, 2013
How to get motivated
What motivates you?
Have you ever had one of those days where you just don’t feel like doing anything? Work isn’t exciting you anymore and you feel lethargic & uninspired?
Haven’t we all! One of the keys to unlocking motivation is understanding your personal values i.e. what truly energises & excites you. Once you know what these values are then it’s simply a matter of planning your life around them. A quote that I love to demonstrate this idea is:
“never let the things that matter to you most be at the mercy of those that do not”
The most successful people on the planet all understand what their values are and live their lives in accordance with them. You’d be surprised how many of us though, live our lives according to other people’s values. We end up devoting a large amount of time to things that genuinely don’t matter to us which results in those feelings of de-motivation & sluggishness. If you’re living your life according to your values then you should feel naturally energized, positive & excited!
Simple Life Strategy: how to get motivated
Start by thinking about what you love spending your time doing, the things you love in your home, the things you always have energy to do no matter how tired you are, think about the things you find it easy to spend money on and look to see where in your life you are focused and disciplined and reflect on what the common things are that you love to think and talk about.
You might ask yourself the following types of Qs:
What parts of your life are you most satisfied with?
What characteristics do you admire the most in other people?
What brings you the most joy in life?
Once you’ve written down some of these ideas, you then need to spend some time analyzing which words seem to mean the most to you until you have a list of 6 or 7 values. Then you need to put them into order based on your personal priorities.
Some of my personal values are:
- health
- innovation
- learning & insight
- fun & adventure
I make a concerted effort to ensure I am factoring in these values every day in some way. When it comes to planning my week ahead I will refer to my values to ensure the decisions I’m making are in line with my values. For example if a friend invites me out to an event, I will assess how spending my time with that friend will allow me to live my values? Should my time be better used doing something else? And be careful not to confuse values with ‘pleasurable activities’. Values are not always about instant gratification – but they assist you to grow as a person in the long run.
Have you ever had one of those days where you just don’t feel like doing anything? Work isn’t exciting you anymore and you feel lethargic & uninspired?
Haven’t we all! One of the keys to unlocking motivation is understanding your personal values i.e. what truly energises & excites you. Once you know what these values are then it’s simply a matter of planning your life around them. A quote that I love to demonstrate this idea is:
“never let the things that matter to you most be at the mercy of those that do not”
The most successful people on the planet all understand what their values are and live their lives in accordance with them. You’d be surprised how many of us though, live our lives according to other people’s values. We end up devoting a large amount of time to things that genuinely don’t matter to us which results in those feelings of de-motivation & sluggishness. If you’re living your life according to your values then you should feel naturally energized, positive & excited!
Simple Life Strategy: how to get motivated
Start by thinking about what you love spending your time doing, the things you love in your home, the things you always have energy to do no matter how tired you are, think about the things you find it easy to spend money on and look to see where in your life you are focused and disciplined and reflect on what the common things are that you love to think and talk about.
You might ask yourself the following types of Qs:
What parts of your life are you most satisfied with?
What characteristics do you admire the most in other people?
What brings you the most joy in life?
Once you’ve written down some of these ideas, you then need to spend some time analyzing which words seem to mean the most to you until you have a list of 6 or 7 values. Then you need to put them into order based on your personal priorities.
Some of my personal values are:
- health
- innovation
- learning & insight
- fun & adventure
I make a concerted effort to ensure I am factoring in these values every day in some way. When it comes to planning my week ahead I will refer to my values to ensure the decisions I’m making are in line with my values. For example if a friend invites me out to an event, I will assess how spending my time with that friend will allow me to live my values? Should my time be better used doing something else? And be careful not to confuse values with ‘pleasurable activities’. Values are not always about instant gratification – but they assist you to grow as a person in the long run.
Less frustration
Simple Life Strategy: 5 Steps to be Less Frustrated
1. Become aware. Notice when those feelings of frustration start to creep up on you.
2. Identify why you are frustrated. Is it because you are trying to control something?
3. Remember the saying ‘What you resist persists.’ Know that if you keep resisting whatever is happening to you, more of it will show up in your life.
4. Consider if you are thinking about what you don’t want. Remember that this is essentially negative thinking in action and is to be avoided at all costs.
5. Accept what’s happening. Simply let go of trying to control your situation and accept it. Instead of fighting life, flow with it and notice how much easier things become.
http://simplelifestrategies.com/how-to-be-less-frustrated/
1. Become aware. Notice when those feelings of frustration start to creep up on you.
2. Identify why you are frustrated. Is it because you are trying to control something?
3. Remember the saying ‘What you resist persists.’ Know that if you keep resisting whatever is happening to you, more of it will show up in your life.
4. Consider if you are thinking about what you don’t want. Remember that this is essentially negative thinking in action and is to be avoided at all costs.
5. Accept what’s happening. Simply let go of trying to control your situation and accept it. Instead of fighting life, flow with it and notice how much easier things become.
http://simplelifestrategies.com/how-to-be-less-frustrated/
Problem-solving
Simple Life Strategy: A Simple 5 Step Problem Solving Strategy
1. Become aware. What are you focused on? Are you getting caught up in the problem its-self?
2. Note your language. Is it positive or negative? Is it helping you or hindering you?
3. Decide to not focus on the problem. Make a conscious decision to move away from concentrating on the problem.
4. Think laterally (sideways). Consider how others may have tried to solve the problem? How have other industries, or other countries dealt with such problems? Can you apply this thinking?
5. Search for solutions. Come at the problem with solutions instead of getting stuck on what is wrong or missing.
http://simplelifestrategies.com/5-step-problem-solving-strategy/
1. Become aware. What are you focused on? Are you getting caught up in the problem its-self?
2. Note your language. Is it positive or negative? Is it helping you or hindering you?
3. Decide to not focus on the problem. Make a conscious decision to move away from concentrating on the problem.
4. Think laterally (sideways). Consider how others may have tried to solve the problem? How have other industries, or other countries dealt with such problems? Can you apply this thinking?
5. Search for solutions. Come at the problem with solutions instead of getting stuck on what is wrong or missing.
http://simplelifestrategies.com/5-step-problem-solving-strategy/
Tuesday, July 2, 2013
fearless
Know Fear v. No fear.
"Fear defeats more people than any other one thing in the world."
~Ralph Waldo Emerson
Here's your challenge for this week. Notice your fear. When do you not speak up because of fear? Not pursue an interest because of fear? Shut down an idea? Watch your choices. What do you shut down, turn away, or run from because you are afraid? Listen, if you wait until fear is no long present, you'll wait a lifetime. Surmounting your fear is about allowing the space to feel what you feel, but make choices based off what you really, truly desire. After you pick up on your fear stories, change the game. Don't let fear take you out. You got this.
"Fear defeats more people than any other one thing in the world."
~Ralph Waldo Emerson
Here's your challenge for this week. Notice your fear. When do you not speak up because of fear? Not pursue an interest because of fear? Shut down an idea? Watch your choices. What do you shut down, turn away, or run from because you are afraid? Listen, if you wait until fear is no long present, you'll wait a lifetime. Surmounting your fear is about allowing the space to feel what you feel, but make choices based off what you really, truly desire. After you pick up on your fear stories, change the game. Don't let fear take you out. You got this.
.
Talkin to you gets my mind off my mind
Takes away the frizzles lingering thoughts to just focus on beauty
To just focus on
YOU
Takes away the frizzles lingering thoughts to just focus on beauty
To just focus on
YOU
Monday, July 1, 2013
7/1/13
1 year today since I first met the love of my life.
It was also the day I taught a lesson to a class.
It was also the day I broke down tremendously again.
It was also the day his love clicked.
G-d, it is so powerful to feel the rapture of his love inside of me, moving me. Please do your work in me tonight, baby.
It's been so long since I've said these words: I am so in love with you
May I channel my love onto the children.
It was also the day I taught a lesson to a class.
It was also the day I broke down tremendously again.
It was also the day his love clicked.
G-d, it is so powerful to feel the rapture of his love inside of me, moving me. Please do your work in me tonight, baby.
It's been so long since I've said these words: I am so in love with you
May I channel my love onto the children.
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