self-criticism

Self criticism is an act of nitpicking and disapproving of one’s action or behavior. Being self critical does more harm than good. A person who has low self esteem will make an incorrect personal judgment and evaluation. This is because he or she has a low opinion of himself and doesn’t think that he’s good enough. He belittles, underestimates and underrates his capabilities.

When he affirms that there is something wrong with him, he will become and do more of what he sees in himself. This will make him criticize himself further. His feeling of self worth will go way down. He will think of himself as a loser and believe that he’s never going to be good at anything or with anyone. Constant barrage of negative talks will lead to self loathing.

Yes, it’s true that you have to be honest with yourself. And you should take a look at your errors, mistakes and faults. This is one of the ways to learn, correct them and not repeat the same things. But disparaging or condemning yourself is not a wise way to do it. The better and proper way is to go to the root of the problem, and that is to improve your self image and self esteem. When you think, see and feel better about yourself, you will have a positive outlook and make better assessment. You examine your actions and behaviors and find the solutions instead of searching for your flaws and weaknesses.

And dealing with negative comments from other people becomes easier because you are no longer sensitive and have become approachable. You accept them as useful feedback and use them to further your growth and development.

How to Stop Self Criticism



1. Be Aware of Your Thoughts.

Becoming aware of your thoughts and feelings is the beginning of correcting yourself. Pause every now and then to hear what you are saying to yourself. One of the best times to hear your critical voice is when your emotional state changes. When you feel that you’ve done something wrong or when you think of doing or saying something, the voice within will give you its point of view with the intention to protect you. And the self criticism will change your feelings.

Here’s an example.

You : I think I want to write an ebook about my experience and sell it.

Inner Voice : You want to write an ebook? Who are you kidding? You can’t even complete a letter well. Forget about it. Who wants to read it anyway?

2. Self Evaluation – Boldly Question the Inner Voice.

Try to notice if your mind is replaying old recordings of whatever have happened once upon a time? Whose voice are you hearing? Is it yours, your parents or someone who used to condemn you? Ask your inner self what it is trying to achieve? Have a conversation with yourself and boldly keep questioning the remarks and judgments. Keep asking further questions with each answer until you reach a threshold and the inner voice give in. This is one of the ways to not only challenge the inner critic but also to change your limiting beliefs.

3. Use Different Words to Describe Your Experiences.

Words and the language you use can make or break you. When you disapprove yourself, you use words. The words affect your emotions and your behavior. So, use different words to describe your emotions and experiences. When you make a mistake, stop saying things such as “It’s typical of stupid me. I just’ can’t do things right.”

Say something like, “Okay, here a little boo boo. I’ll do better the next time.” Saying positive things will help you change your state, laugh at yourself and lighten things up. When you are in a better mood, you can think well and will find the right solution.

4. Use a Journal.

Use a journal to monitor your self talk and when you do the self evaluation. It enables you to notice the criticisms that you have been saying to yourself and see the pattern. It also helps you discover the triggers, your beliefs and value system.

5. Accept that There Is No Failure, Just Feedback.

When something goes wrong or if you have made a mistake, accept that as a feedback. It’s just not the right strategy. Ask yourself what can you learn from the experience and move on. Try another way and say things such as, “I’ll try doing it this way. It’ll work this time. If it still doesn’t, I’ll try another.”

6. Acknowledge Your Strengths and Previous Success.

Look and find the positive instead of looking at what’s wrong with you. Identify your strengths, skills, abilities and previous successes. Whenever you succeed in something, say positive things to yourself such as, “I did it or I know I can do it.”


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