Tuesday, May 7, 2013

"remember to enjoy stress, enjoy the rush, work my hardest and most enthusiastically in the moment and offload thoughts about managing outcomes (they are already managed by doing the work, it’s extra pain and mental and emotional RAM wasted)"

For staying positive/fulfilled in the longer term, i've come up with a loose system over the last three years or so. For a long time i struggled with whether to deal with negative emotions biologically or emotionally. Couldn't figure out if happiness was about seratonin levels, money and cars, or being one with the universe. As all polar conflicts tend to go, the answer was somewhere in the middle.
I now use a really basic system to understand why and how i feel good and bad and how to change it. There are two important and inseparable aspects of long term happiness: a thriving brain-body, and emotional fulfillment.

1. Biology

You need your biology to feel positive emotions. Your thoughts and feelings can all be boiled down to neurons firing and chemicals moving around. Any time you feel anything good or bad its happening because of your body. You are your body. No matter how happy you should be, if you cant muster up enough seratonin (oversimplification) you'll feel like depressed shit on the street.

Those days or moments when you feel bad for no reason are usually a result of some kind of wackiness in your homeostasis. And even when you can think of ten reasons to feel depressed (especially if they're broad and existential) they can be completely the result of momentary deficiencies in brain and body health. And if there is a real external reason for bad feelings, biology can make it a 1,000 times worse. Imagine the difference between a creditor hounding you for money you don't have after green tea, meditation, and a big healthy breakfast, and a creditor calling you 2/3 of your way into a meth bender (an extreme example to emphasize the point, but the concept is constantly happening on a subtler level.)

BUT, even if your buzzing on a perfect homeostasis, you can still be unhappy, especially in the long run. Thats where emotional fulfillment comes in.

2. Emotional fulfillment

You have emotional needs. Theres tons of theories on how and why they got there (evolution, culture, ideology, god, personality) and how to categorize them (maslow, psychology, love, ego, altruism, selfishness, yada yada) but what matters is that they're there and you need to fulfill them to feel happy.

The best way i've found to quickly and efficiently analyze how to fulfill those needs is best described by what either jake or austin said a couple weeks ago: "how do i feel about what i do?" (Or how will i feel or how am i feeling). Ask that question as often as possible, in reflection on future improvement and during real time decision making and try to answer with as thick and heavy honesty as possible. The better you feel about what you do the more fulfilled you'll be. Its a great way to analyze happiness because it doesn't rely on anything external or out of your control.

It can get complicated when trying to figure out if you should alter what you do or alter how you feel about it. But giving my brain this type of simple straightforward framing makes it MUCH less complicated, and makes the solution usually come easier and faster.

Whats also important to remember is that you almost always think within these types of systems. And the more you think in a particular one the more automatic and default it becomes. So engineering them on purpose and with clear headed intentions can provide a huge amount of positive change for comparably small effort.

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