Each morning, write down three things that you are grateful for. The key here is to come up with three new things each day. This trains your brain to focus more on the good in your life.
Journal for two minutes a day about one positive experience you’ve had over the past twenty-four hours. Write down all the details you can remember. This helps your brain re-experience the experience, thus doubling its impact.
Meditate daily. This does not have to be complicated. Simply stop all activity, relax, and pay attention to your breath for about two minutes. This helps you to focus your brain on things you want to focus on, and not get distracted by negativity.
Do one random act of kindness every day. This can be as simple as taking two minutes to write an email to someone you know, praising them or thanking them for something they did.
Exercise for fifteen minutes daily. Simply cardio exercises have a powerful antidepressant effect.
Showing posts with label happy. Show all posts
Showing posts with label happy. Show all posts
Sunday, April 13, 2014
Wednesday, March 5, 2014
Friday, July 19, 2013
5 Ways To Embrace Ending Friendships and Relationships
“Celebrate endings, for they precede new beginnings.” ~Jonathan Lockwood Huie
I believe people are brought together for each person’s maximum spiritual growth. When the growth is done, it’s time to move on.
That spiritual growth could take two minutes, two weeks, two months, two years, or a lifetime. Either way, when the time comes, the most powerful thing we can do is allow ourselves to move on and trust that everything is happening exactly as it should.
Sometimes outside circumstances seemingly force our relationships to shift and move apart; other times it’s a decision you consciously make to walk away. However it happens, below are some ways you can move through changing relationships in the most positive and powerful way possible:
1. Don’t be afraid.
As you learn and grow, so do your friendships and relationships. I really noticed this when I started committing to a spiritual practice everyday. My circle of friends completely shifted. This is nothing to fear.
It’s not a “good” or “bad’ thing, but it’s important to understand that throughout our lives, people are going to fall away. And who knows, they might be back, but all you do know now is that you’ve learned all that you can from each other at this time.
When relationships and/or friendships end or shift, there is nothing to fear. Whether or not you realize it, everything always works out the way it’s meant to.
2. Take responsibility.
If the break-up was messy, or the friendship ended in a not so positive way, take responsibility for it. When you get to the point where you no longer blame someone else for how you feel, miraculous shifts occur.
I often turn to my inner guide, the voice for love within me, and ask, “What is the spiritual lesson here?” Your power is always hidden behind the people and circumstance that disturb you the most.
As some of my recent friendships evolved and fell away, I’ve discovered areas within myself that needed to be healed. The purpose of the relationship or the friendship was to show me those areas. Relationships can be amazing tools that catapult us to another level of peace and love.
3. Trust that you always have everyone you need.
This tiny idea can bring massive amounts of peace to your day. What if you woke up every morning knowing that every person you needed that day would be brought to you?
I try and start my day with this idea because I immediately stop trying to control my reality, and instead, trust in my inner guidance a whole lot more.
There is no one missing from this moment whom you need right now. If you’re sitting in a chair with no other bodies around, that’s because in this moment, your soul does not need anyone else to learn from.
4. Get ready for new friendships and relationships.
When you create the space for friendships and relationships that are not working to fall away, get ready, because new people who are more in-line with what your soul most needs to learn are on their way! This only becomes a fearful process when you forget that you’re always guided and that everything happens for you, not to you.
5. Release your guilt.
As I got more and more committed to praying, connecting to my true self, and meditating, I felt deep in my heart it was time for me to make some shifts in my outer world. That decision involved moving across the entire country, far away from family and all my friends.
At first, a few of my close friends couldn’t understand why I was leaving, and for a brief moment I felt guilty about it. But I had to follow my path and trust that new people and experiences were on their way.
Other people may not understand why you’re making the decision to move on, but that doesn’t matter. You can’t control what other people think. Always trust your heart and never feel guilty for it.
No matter what, remember that every encounter is holy. Every person is a reflection of you. As you change, move, and grow, the reflections around you also change. Embrace them!
There is no need to fearfully cling to relationships and friendships that are not working anymore. Rather, get excited about the new ones that are surely on their way. All changes are helpful.
I believe people are brought together for each person’s maximum spiritual growth. When the growth is done, it’s time to move on.
That spiritual growth could take two minutes, two weeks, two months, two years, or a lifetime. Either way, when the time comes, the most powerful thing we can do is allow ourselves to move on and trust that everything is happening exactly as it should.
Sometimes outside circumstances seemingly force our relationships to shift and move apart; other times it’s a decision you consciously make to walk away. However it happens, below are some ways you can move through changing relationships in the most positive and powerful way possible:
1. Don’t be afraid.
As you learn and grow, so do your friendships and relationships. I really noticed this when I started committing to a spiritual practice everyday. My circle of friends completely shifted. This is nothing to fear.
It’s not a “good” or “bad’ thing, but it’s important to understand that throughout our lives, people are going to fall away. And who knows, they might be back, but all you do know now is that you’ve learned all that you can from each other at this time.
When relationships and/or friendships end or shift, there is nothing to fear. Whether or not you realize it, everything always works out the way it’s meant to.
2. Take responsibility.
If the break-up was messy, or the friendship ended in a not so positive way, take responsibility for it. When you get to the point where you no longer blame someone else for how you feel, miraculous shifts occur.
I often turn to my inner guide, the voice for love within me, and ask, “What is the spiritual lesson here?” Your power is always hidden behind the people and circumstance that disturb you the most.
As some of my recent friendships evolved and fell away, I’ve discovered areas within myself that needed to be healed. The purpose of the relationship or the friendship was to show me those areas. Relationships can be amazing tools that catapult us to another level of peace and love.
3. Trust that you always have everyone you need.
This tiny idea can bring massive amounts of peace to your day. What if you woke up every morning knowing that every person you needed that day would be brought to you?
I try and start my day with this idea because I immediately stop trying to control my reality, and instead, trust in my inner guidance a whole lot more.
There is no one missing from this moment whom you need right now. If you’re sitting in a chair with no other bodies around, that’s because in this moment, your soul does not need anyone else to learn from.
4. Get ready for new friendships and relationships.
When you create the space for friendships and relationships that are not working to fall away, get ready, because new people who are more in-line with what your soul most needs to learn are on their way! This only becomes a fearful process when you forget that you’re always guided and that everything happens for you, not to you.
5. Release your guilt.
As I got more and more committed to praying, connecting to my true self, and meditating, I felt deep in my heart it was time for me to make some shifts in my outer world. That decision involved moving across the entire country, far away from family and all my friends.
At first, a few of my close friends couldn’t understand why I was leaving, and for a brief moment I felt guilty about it. But I had to follow my path and trust that new people and experiences were on their way.
Other people may not understand why you’re making the decision to move on, but that doesn’t matter. You can’t control what other people think. Always trust your heart and never feel guilty for it.
No matter what, remember that every encounter is holy. Every person is a reflection of you. As you change, move, and grow, the reflections around you also change. Embrace them!
There is no need to fearfully cling to relationships and friendships that are not working anymore. Rather, get excited about the new ones that are surely on their way. All changes are helpful.
life purpose
“Don’t take life too seriously. You’ll never get out alive.” ~Elbert Hubbard
So I made it my mission to not take life so seriously and to learn to be present each day in order to find happiness within myself and for my new life. These were my daily mantras:
1. Give yourself some credit.
I took a big risk when I quit my job. I took an even bigger risk moving to an island. Rather than being down on myself for not having a career at the moment or not feeling like my life has a purpose, I give myself credit for the little things: learning Spanish a bit more, attempting to surf, taking pilates each week at a local studio, meeting new people.
When you are focusing on what you see as bad things, you are preventing the good from shining through.
Don’t be so hard on yourself. Take ten minutes of meditation time each day and thank yourself for it afterward. Get up early and make a healthy breakfast. Talk to someone new in line at the coffee shop. Notice the little things you are already doing each day for yourself.
2. Stop thinking so much.
Think of nothing for two whole minutes. Clear your mind. Don’t put effort into thinking about things that haven’t happened yet. It will just cause you worry. It’s too much for one little mind and it’s a waste of your time and energy.
I still catch myself in a whirlwind of thoughts each day and every time this happens, I stop, I take three deep breaths, I think about something positive, and I smile. There is always a reason to smile and less of a reason to worry.
3. It’s okay to take a break.
My family asked me why I was wasting a college degree and why I spent my 401k to move to an island. I didn’t have a straight answer for them, but I did know that I worked harder than I ever had for six years of my life, for almost twelve hours each day and put up with a lack of appreciation for what I did.
So it was okay if I took some time to do nothing. You don’t have to be achieving scientific discovery every day. It’s okay to take time to simply be and to experience life.
4. You don’t have to find your life purpose tomorrow.
I used to hate the saying “find what you love and go do it.” As if it’s so easy. But each day, don’t be afraid to attempt something new. In Puerto Rico, I have learned that I actually like oysters. I love being in the water. I am more creative than I thought I could be.
I still haven’t found what I love in life or what my “purpose” is, but trying is the only way to find it.
http://tinybuddha.com/blog/when-you-dont-have-a-clear-purpose-4-helpful-mantras/
So I made it my mission to not take life so seriously and to learn to be present each day in order to find happiness within myself and for my new life. These were my daily mantras:
1. Give yourself some credit.
I took a big risk when I quit my job. I took an even bigger risk moving to an island. Rather than being down on myself for not having a career at the moment or not feeling like my life has a purpose, I give myself credit for the little things: learning Spanish a bit more, attempting to surf, taking pilates each week at a local studio, meeting new people.
When you are focusing on what you see as bad things, you are preventing the good from shining through.
Don’t be so hard on yourself. Take ten minutes of meditation time each day and thank yourself for it afterward. Get up early and make a healthy breakfast. Talk to someone new in line at the coffee shop. Notice the little things you are already doing each day for yourself.
2. Stop thinking so much.
Think of nothing for two whole minutes. Clear your mind. Don’t put effort into thinking about things that haven’t happened yet. It will just cause you worry. It’s too much for one little mind and it’s a waste of your time and energy.
I still catch myself in a whirlwind of thoughts each day and every time this happens, I stop, I take three deep breaths, I think about something positive, and I smile. There is always a reason to smile and less of a reason to worry.
3. It’s okay to take a break.
My family asked me why I was wasting a college degree and why I spent my 401k to move to an island. I didn’t have a straight answer for them, but I did know that I worked harder than I ever had for six years of my life, for almost twelve hours each day and put up with a lack of appreciation for what I did.
So it was okay if I took some time to do nothing. You don’t have to be achieving scientific discovery every day. It’s okay to take time to simply be and to experience life.
4. You don’t have to find your life purpose tomorrow.
I used to hate the saying “find what you love and go do it.” As if it’s so easy. But each day, don’t be afraid to attempt something new. In Puerto Rico, I have learned that I actually like oysters. I love being in the water. I am more creative than I thought I could be.
I still haven’t found what I love in life or what my “purpose” is, but trying is the only way to find it.
http://tinybuddha.com/blog/when-you-dont-have-a-clear-purpose-4-helpful-mantras/
Sunday, July 14, 2013
10 Ways to Enjoy More: What’s Your Guilty Pleasure?
10 Ways to Enjoy More: What’s Your Guilty Pleasure?
“Happiness consists of living each day as if it were the first day of your honeymoon and the last day of your vacation.” ~Leo Tolstoy
For as long as I can remember, I’ve had an epic list of guilty pleasures.
As a young girl, my top three guilty pleasures included dressing up and dancing in my living room to Madonna (“Annnnd…VOGUE!”), watching over-the-top nighttime dramas with my mom over bowls of Breyer’s vanilla ice cream (“Kevin…I’m pregnant! And you’re not the father!”), and penning addictive, soap-opera-worthy novellas about the kids in my fifth grade class (they’d line up and beg for the next chapter).
I found so much joy and fulfillment in those activities. And while I jokingly call them “guilty pleasures,” I never felt a single pang of remorse.
As a grown-up girl, my guilty pleasures follow a similar strain: booty-shaking hip-hop classes, binge-watching Game of Thrones, and eating anything with the words “chocolate” and “peanut butter” (or both).
Oh, and I’m penning a screenplay that’s one-part erotic paranormal romance, and one-part political thriller. (Obviously.)
Clearly, I’ve got a lifelong passion for guilty pleasures—and I’m fascinated by how our bodies respond to our favorite ones.
How our boundaries dissolve. How our curiosity ignites. How we find ourselves with an insatiable need to indulge (NOW!) before we explode with anticipation. (If you’re hopelessly addicted to any juicy TV series, you know what I’m talking about.)
Guilty pleasures are exhilarating, and there’s no denying that they bring oodles of fun to our lives.
So, why don’t we indulge in these pleasures more often?
I believe the word “guilty” may be the culprit. For some of us, it’s hard to even say the phrase “guilty pleasure” without feeling a prickle of shame.
And that semantic buzz kill needs a definition makeover.
I’ve decided to re-define the term “guilty pleasure” as something that ignites and electrifies you in a way that should be totally illegal, but isn’t. It’s something you should enjoy every day, with wild abandon. It doesn’t (necessarily) have to be unhealthy or calorie-laden, but it’s got to feel decadent.
Now that you have complete permission to pursue your most electrifying passions, here’s a peek at 10 ways you can make your whole life feel like one big guilty pleasure.
Go ahead—indulge.
1. Schedule daily guilty pleasure breaks.
No more guilt means no more excuses to avoid partaking in your favorite pleasures.
You now have full permission to take a break from work and read that enticing gossip blog, catch up on the latest season of your favorite show, or revel in a romance novel (or audio-book—who’s gonna know?) and savor it while pumping away on the elliptical machine.
2. Spice up boring to-dos.
Loathe folding laundry? Detest doing the dishes? Crying into Quicken? Crank up the music that makes you grin like a goofball (classic Justin Timberlake, anyone?) and shimmy while doing your chores. Even Gwyneth Paltrow rocks 90s hip hop while cooking her uber-healthy, organic meals.
3. Create guilty pleasure play dates.
Stuck in an “activity rut” with your significant other, family, and friends? Instead of dinner at “the usual place,” infuse your favorite guilty pleasures into your play dates. Get creative: host an at-home triathlon (video game competition, quickie card game, or a cupcake-eating contest!) or take a guided ghost tour of haunted historical buildings in your city. Spooky!
4. Just giggle.
Nothing lowers stress like a good chuckle. Create a giggle bank of hilarious YouTube videos (the boys from Saturday Night Live + T-Pain = win!), Awkward Family Photos, and hilarious blog posts (The Bloggess never fails). Get yourself in stitches, daily.
5. Try something brand new.
For an instant boost of pleasure and adrenaline, try something you’ve never done before, but always fantasized about. Channel your inner Gustav Klimt at a nude figure-drawing class (Dr. Sketchy’s Anti-Art School is always a delight!), find your local Ultimate Frisbee League, or try an aerial yoga class.
Give yourself permission, and enjoy every clumsy attempt. You may spark a new lifelong hobby!
6. Do a tedium detox.
This kind of “detox” isn’t about gulping kale-infused liquids. It’s about clearing out everything that’s tired, tedious, and boring.
Rummage through your closet and get rid of anything that doesn’t make you feel like a million bucks. Donate old books you’re never going to read, toss stale ingredients that hog your cabinets, and chuck dusty relics that make your home feel like a cluttered mess.
Once you cleanse the un-pleasurable, fill those spaces with items that delight and inspire. (Or, just leave some empty space. Ahhhh.)
7. Try on a new character.
Ever wish you were a Sherlock Holmes-worthy super spy? Or an adorkable hipster like Zooey Deschanel? A head-turning hunk, or traffic-stopping bombshell?
Instead of throwing on your usual “uniform” in the morning, try dressing like your alter-ago—and live out your day as this new character. This could mean a little harmless flirting with the local barista, strolling through the city in a bright sundress with a parasol, or jotting down secret notes as you observe passersby, at an outdoor cafe.
8. Make pampering a priority.
Ladies, remember how much fun it was to play with scented lotions, glittery nail polish, and cake-batter-flavored lip gloss when you were a tween?
Primping and pampering yourself is (still) absolutely essential. Bring back the joy with a quickie 10-minute scalp massage, a mini-pedicure, or a pre-bedtime back rub from your partner. To keep it simple, just take a few extra moments in the shower to lather up and let your mind wander. Completely cathartic.
9. Keep conversations centered on pleasure.
I once read—in a glossy magazine, of course—that the French find it rude to discuss work, religion, or politics at dinner parties, and focus their banter on movies, art, and music. Infuse every conversation with joie de vivre by asking, “So, what are your favorite guilty pleasures?”
You can enjoy a conversation with anyone if you shift the conversation to pleasure.
10. Build a guilty pleasure emergency kit.
If you suffer from excruciating headaches, you probably tote a mini-emergency kit around in your handbag or briefcase. Why not build a Guilty Pleasure Emergency Kit for a mood-boosting pick-me-up?
Put together a bundle of scintillating magazines, juicy novels, caramel-laced chocolate (or whatever floats your pleasure-boat) and label it “For Emergency Use Only.”
Of course, you may find yourself “inventing” a dire emergency (“What?! The post office is closed on Sundays?!”) just to give yourself a reason to indulge. And that’s just fine.
It’ll be our delicious little secret.
“Happiness consists of living each day as if it were the first day of your honeymoon and the last day of your vacation.” ~Leo Tolstoy
For as long as I can remember, I’ve had an epic list of guilty pleasures.
As a young girl, my top three guilty pleasures included dressing up and dancing in my living room to Madonna (“Annnnd…VOGUE!”), watching over-the-top nighttime dramas with my mom over bowls of Breyer’s vanilla ice cream (“Kevin…I’m pregnant! And you’re not the father!”), and penning addictive, soap-opera-worthy novellas about the kids in my fifth grade class (they’d line up and beg for the next chapter).
I found so much joy and fulfillment in those activities. And while I jokingly call them “guilty pleasures,” I never felt a single pang of remorse.
As a grown-up girl, my guilty pleasures follow a similar strain: booty-shaking hip-hop classes, binge-watching Game of Thrones, and eating anything with the words “chocolate” and “peanut butter” (or both).
Oh, and I’m penning a screenplay that’s one-part erotic paranormal romance, and one-part political thriller. (Obviously.)
Clearly, I’ve got a lifelong passion for guilty pleasures—and I’m fascinated by how our bodies respond to our favorite ones.
How our boundaries dissolve. How our curiosity ignites. How we find ourselves with an insatiable need to indulge (NOW!) before we explode with anticipation. (If you’re hopelessly addicted to any juicy TV series, you know what I’m talking about.)
Guilty pleasures are exhilarating, and there’s no denying that they bring oodles of fun to our lives.
So, why don’t we indulge in these pleasures more often?
I believe the word “guilty” may be the culprit. For some of us, it’s hard to even say the phrase “guilty pleasure” without feeling a prickle of shame.
And that semantic buzz kill needs a definition makeover.
I’ve decided to re-define the term “guilty pleasure” as something that ignites and electrifies you in a way that should be totally illegal, but isn’t. It’s something you should enjoy every day, with wild abandon. It doesn’t (necessarily) have to be unhealthy or calorie-laden, but it’s got to feel decadent.
Now that you have complete permission to pursue your most electrifying passions, here’s a peek at 10 ways you can make your whole life feel like one big guilty pleasure.
Go ahead—indulge.
1. Schedule daily guilty pleasure breaks.
No more guilt means no more excuses to avoid partaking in your favorite pleasures.
You now have full permission to take a break from work and read that enticing gossip blog, catch up on the latest season of your favorite show, or revel in a romance novel (or audio-book—who’s gonna know?) and savor it while pumping away on the elliptical machine.
2. Spice up boring to-dos.
Loathe folding laundry? Detest doing the dishes? Crying into Quicken? Crank up the music that makes you grin like a goofball (classic Justin Timberlake, anyone?) and shimmy while doing your chores. Even Gwyneth Paltrow rocks 90s hip hop while cooking her uber-healthy, organic meals.
3. Create guilty pleasure play dates.
Stuck in an “activity rut” with your significant other, family, and friends? Instead of dinner at “the usual place,” infuse your favorite guilty pleasures into your play dates. Get creative: host an at-home triathlon (video game competition, quickie card game, or a cupcake-eating contest!) or take a guided ghost tour of haunted historical buildings in your city. Spooky!
4. Just giggle.
Nothing lowers stress like a good chuckle. Create a giggle bank of hilarious YouTube videos (the boys from Saturday Night Live + T-Pain = win!), Awkward Family Photos, and hilarious blog posts (The Bloggess never fails). Get yourself in stitches, daily.
5. Try something brand new.
For an instant boost of pleasure and adrenaline, try something you’ve never done before, but always fantasized about. Channel your inner Gustav Klimt at a nude figure-drawing class (Dr. Sketchy’s Anti-Art School is always a delight!), find your local Ultimate Frisbee League, or try an aerial yoga class.
Give yourself permission, and enjoy every clumsy attempt. You may spark a new lifelong hobby!
6. Do a tedium detox.
This kind of “detox” isn’t about gulping kale-infused liquids. It’s about clearing out everything that’s tired, tedious, and boring.
Rummage through your closet and get rid of anything that doesn’t make you feel like a million bucks. Donate old books you’re never going to read, toss stale ingredients that hog your cabinets, and chuck dusty relics that make your home feel like a cluttered mess.
Once you cleanse the un-pleasurable, fill those spaces with items that delight and inspire. (Or, just leave some empty space. Ahhhh.)
7. Try on a new character.
Ever wish you were a Sherlock Holmes-worthy super spy? Or an adorkable hipster like Zooey Deschanel? A head-turning hunk, or traffic-stopping bombshell?
Instead of throwing on your usual “uniform” in the morning, try dressing like your alter-ago—and live out your day as this new character. This could mean a little harmless flirting with the local barista, strolling through the city in a bright sundress with a parasol, or jotting down secret notes as you observe passersby, at an outdoor cafe.
8. Make pampering a priority.
Ladies, remember how much fun it was to play with scented lotions, glittery nail polish, and cake-batter-flavored lip gloss when you were a tween?
Primping and pampering yourself is (still) absolutely essential. Bring back the joy with a quickie 10-minute scalp massage, a mini-pedicure, or a pre-bedtime back rub from your partner. To keep it simple, just take a few extra moments in the shower to lather up and let your mind wander. Completely cathartic.
9. Keep conversations centered on pleasure.
I once read—in a glossy magazine, of course—that the French find it rude to discuss work, religion, or politics at dinner parties, and focus their banter on movies, art, and music. Infuse every conversation with joie de vivre by asking, “So, what are your favorite guilty pleasures?”
You can enjoy a conversation with anyone if you shift the conversation to pleasure.
10. Build a guilty pleasure emergency kit.
If you suffer from excruciating headaches, you probably tote a mini-emergency kit around in your handbag or briefcase. Why not build a Guilty Pleasure Emergency Kit for a mood-boosting pick-me-up?
Put together a bundle of scintillating magazines, juicy novels, caramel-laced chocolate (or whatever floats your pleasure-boat) and label it “For Emergency Use Only.”
Of course, you may find yourself “inventing” a dire emergency (“What?! The post office is closed on Sundays?!”) just to give yourself a reason to indulge. And that’s just fine.
It’ll be our delicious little secret.
Sunday, July 7, 2013
Wednesday, June 26, 2013
“Life’s challenges are not supposed to paralyze you, they’re supposed to help you discover who you are.” ~Bernice Johnson Reagon
Heart-broken OPEN
3 Reasons to Bring Joy Back into Your Life
Reason #1: Joy is your nature.
Joy flows from the same source as love and peace; it flows from your heart.
Would you want to deny your loved ones your love and your peace? Of course not. Then please, don’t deny yourself your joy either.
Don’t push it either. When sadness comes, allow your tears to flow. When joy comes, allow your smile to shine. That’s how it is supposed to be. It’s your nature; it’s who you are.
Reason #2: Joy is your light.
Joy is the light within.
Would you want to deny your loved ones that light? Of course not. Then please, accept it for yourself as well. When it shines, you can see the path in front of you, even if just one step ahead.
One step at a time, toward light—isn’t that a fine way to respond to tragedy?
Reason #3: Joy is your power.
The deep joy flowing within you is a healing force. Its warmth has the power to melt the inner paralysis. Its energy has the power to fuel your journey toward a life in alignment with your heart’s desire.
Would you want to deny your loved ones that? Of course not. Then don’t deny yourself the power of your joy either. Because your heart’s true desire is to live, and to feel joy.
But how? After tragedy, how do you even open your heart and mind to joy?
It depends on who you are. In other words, discovering who you really are also means finding your way back to joy.
In that spirit let me present to you 21 of the infinite numbers of ways in which you could bring joy back into life. Perhaps even more ideas will show up in the comments section.
In any case, I invite you to look at all these ways as possibilities, nothing more. Ponder them for a while, and then find out which one you feel most drawn to.
Pick that one, and then start practicing joy in this way, daily. Here they come, in no particular order:
21 Ways to Bring Joy into Your Life
1. Spend time with children (there are children everywhere).
2. Discover something refreshing (or surprising).
3. Feel your body (you are a miracle of life).
4. Read a novel (fiction, stories, not the usual self-improvement stuff).
5. Travel (any distance).
6. Look for smiles in people’s faces (on the street and on TV).
7. Write thank you notes (to yourself too).
8. Create a rhythm for your daily life (simple things will do).
9. Exercise (in a way that makes you smile).
10. Help someone (with something you enjoy doing).
11. Find a color that makes you feel good (and wear it).
12. Enjoy your spiritual practice. (Enjoy!)
13. Spend time with nature (plants and pets are nature, too).
14. Do something creative (just for yourself).
15. Accept help from people (strangers, too).
16. Learn something new. (What have you always wanted to learn?)
17. Listen to music (and let your body move along).
18. Walk barefoot (slowly).
19. Savor simple pleasures. (What’s that?)
20. Give yourself a break (in every sense of the word).
21. When you have a choice, choose joy.
Heart-broken OPEN
3 Reasons to Bring Joy Back into Your Life
Reason #1: Joy is your nature.
Joy flows from the same source as love and peace; it flows from your heart.
Would you want to deny your loved ones your love and your peace? Of course not. Then please, don’t deny yourself your joy either.
Don’t push it either. When sadness comes, allow your tears to flow. When joy comes, allow your smile to shine. That’s how it is supposed to be. It’s your nature; it’s who you are.
Reason #2: Joy is your light.
Joy is the light within.
Would you want to deny your loved ones that light? Of course not. Then please, accept it for yourself as well. When it shines, you can see the path in front of you, even if just one step ahead.
One step at a time, toward light—isn’t that a fine way to respond to tragedy?
Reason #3: Joy is your power.
The deep joy flowing within you is a healing force. Its warmth has the power to melt the inner paralysis. Its energy has the power to fuel your journey toward a life in alignment with your heart’s desire.
Would you want to deny your loved ones that? Of course not. Then don’t deny yourself the power of your joy either. Because your heart’s true desire is to live, and to feel joy.
But how? After tragedy, how do you even open your heart and mind to joy?
It depends on who you are. In other words, discovering who you really are also means finding your way back to joy.
In that spirit let me present to you 21 of the infinite numbers of ways in which you could bring joy back into life. Perhaps even more ideas will show up in the comments section.
In any case, I invite you to look at all these ways as possibilities, nothing more. Ponder them for a while, and then find out which one you feel most drawn to.
Pick that one, and then start practicing joy in this way, daily. Here they come, in no particular order:
21 Ways to Bring Joy into Your Life
1. Spend time with children (there are children everywhere).
2. Discover something refreshing (or surprising).
3. Feel your body (you are a miracle of life).
4. Read a novel (fiction, stories, not the usual self-improvement stuff).
5. Travel (any distance).
6. Look for smiles in people’s faces (on the street and on TV).
7. Write thank you notes (to yourself too).
8. Create a rhythm for your daily life (simple things will do).
9. Exercise (in a way that makes you smile).
10. Help someone (with something you enjoy doing).
11. Find a color that makes you feel good (and wear it).
12. Enjoy your spiritual practice. (Enjoy!)
13. Spend time with nature (plants and pets are nature, too).
14. Do something creative (just for yourself).
15. Accept help from people (strangers, too).
16. Learn something new. (What have you always wanted to learn?)
17. Listen to music (and let your body move along).
18. Walk barefoot (slowly).
19. Savor simple pleasures. (What’s that?)
20. Give yourself a break (in every sense of the word).
21. When you have a choice, choose joy.
Wednesday, June 19, 2013
Simple Life Strategy: 5 Life Lessons from the Dalai Lama | Sydney 2013 Event
1. Be compassionate. Remember that compassion is good for your health and stress, fear and anger will literally eat up your immune system. Choose compassion over negative feelings.
2. Find your own inner peace. As his holiness said: “Global change must come from individuals and world peace must come from inner peace”. Realise that you can make a difference by starting with yourself.
3. Be happy. Instead of grappling with complex Questions like “Why am I here?” simply focus on being happy and the rest will fall into place.
4. Be a good human being. Avoid feelings of regret when you reach the end of your life by being a good human being. Sounds obvious – but you’d be surprised how easy it can be to get caught up in other unimportant things.
5. Practice forgiveness. Know that forgiveness does not mean accepting the other person’s wrongdoing – it is simply a way of respecting your own physical health enough to not allow negative feelings to cause you harm.
Sunday, June 16, 2013
Tuesday, May 28, 2013
AWESOME FIND TODAY
Research by Dr. Kristin Neff, a pioneer in the field, suggests that people who have more self-compassion lead healthier, more productive lives than those who are self-critical. Plus, the feelings of security and self-worth provided by self-compassion are highly stable.
Science of Happiness Research
Science of Happiness Research
5/28/13
One way to build up your savoring skill and boost your mood is to engage in techniques that distract you from your worries and help you avoid overthinking.
40% of your happiness is within your control!
40% of your happiness is within your control!
Wednesday, May 22, 2013
Monday, May 20, 2013
Spiritual vitamin c
The positive effects of the warm colors (infusing your body with spiritual vitamin C
Expressing the red, orange and yellow realms is a part of the universal experience. When we express spirituality, compassion, empathy, oneness, love and creativity it betters and evolves mankind. Collective humanity relies on this expression for survival as much as it relies on the cool color expression.
*But it is also beneficial to your individual health because the warm color expressions like compassion, prayer, meditation, creativity… flip on the relaxation response which counters the negative effects of the flight or fight mechanism.
The relaxation response is the counterpart to the flight or fight response. The relaxation response occurs when the body is no longer in perceived danger, and the autonomic nervous system functioning returns to normal.
During this response, the body moves from a state of physiological arousal, including increased heart rate and blood pressure, slowed digestive functioning, decreased blood flow to the extremities, increased release of hormones like adrenalin and cortisol, and other responses preparing the body to fight or run, to a state of physiological relaxation, where blood pressure, heart rate, digestive functioning and hormonal levels return to their normal state.
Expressing your warm colors balances and counteracts the stress that is triggered when you express your cool colors (work, busy lives, hectic schedules…)
The term spiritual vitamin C is a rainbow framework term that means you are engaging in warm color expressions like meditation, prayer, creative practice, tai chi compassion, oneness, love… Engagement in these activities will turn off your fight or flight response and turn on your relaxation response and infuse your body with spiritual vitamin C.
Turning on your relaxation response = healthy mind and body.
Expressing your warm colors is as important to your health as nutrition and exercise
Visualization: When you feel the surge of cortisol and are stressed. Take a moment to breathe and feel the shift by visualizing the warm colors and your body being infused with spiritual vit. C
Are you taking time to express your warm colors and infuse your body with spiritual vitamin C?
- See more at: http://rainbowframework.com/the-science-behind-the-warm-colors-and-infusing-your-body-with-spiritual-vit-c-relaxation-response/#sthash.7pZJe4s3.dpuf
Expressing the red, orange and yellow realms is a part of the universal experience. When we express spirituality, compassion, empathy, oneness, love and creativity it betters and evolves mankind. Collective humanity relies on this expression for survival as much as it relies on the cool color expression.
*But it is also beneficial to your individual health because the warm color expressions like compassion, prayer, meditation, creativity… flip on the relaxation response which counters the negative effects of the flight or fight mechanism.
The relaxation response is the counterpart to the flight or fight response. The relaxation response occurs when the body is no longer in perceived danger, and the autonomic nervous system functioning returns to normal.
During this response, the body moves from a state of physiological arousal, including increased heart rate and blood pressure, slowed digestive functioning, decreased blood flow to the extremities, increased release of hormones like adrenalin and cortisol, and other responses preparing the body to fight or run, to a state of physiological relaxation, where blood pressure, heart rate, digestive functioning and hormonal levels return to their normal state.
Expressing your warm colors balances and counteracts the stress that is triggered when you express your cool colors (work, busy lives, hectic schedules…)
The term spiritual vitamin C is a rainbow framework term that means you are engaging in warm color expressions like meditation, prayer, creative practice, tai chi compassion, oneness, love… Engagement in these activities will turn off your fight or flight response and turn on your relaxation response and infuse your body with spiritual vitamin C.
Turning on your relaxation response = healthy mind and body.
Expressing your warm colors is as important to your health as nutrition and exercise
Visualization: When you feel the surge of cortisol and are stressed. Take a moment to breathe and feel the shift by visualizing the warm colors and your body being infused with spiritual vit. C
Are you taking time to express your warm colors and infuse your body with spiritual vitamin C?
- See more at: http://rainbowframework.com/the-science-behind-the-warm-colors-and-infusing-your-body-with-spiritual-vit-c-relaxation-response/#sthash.7pZJe4s3.dpuf
Lean into Your Life While You Can
“Learn to appreciate what you have before time makes you appreciate what you had.” ~Unknown
I was standing there crying harder than I had ever cried before in my life. I was so emotionally moved that I totally lost control and was even drooling. It’s a good thing I was wearing a surgical mask.
I was witnessing my wife giving birth to our first-born child.
A nurse had to remind me to take pictures when she saw me standing there with a camera in my hand, crying more than a…well, a baby. It was the happiest moment of my life. I felt joy with a touch of relief and a sense of responsibility toward my wife and son.
It was the most intense rush of emotions I had ever experienced, until…
Fast-forward a year minus five days later. I experienced the saddest and most difficult feelings of my life. It was the same intensity of emotions I felt when my son was born, but it was pure sadness, grief, and emptiness I felt.
I was standing in a small room in a different hospital in a different section. A large man opened a freezer door and rolled out a body wrapped in white sheets. He opened the sheets while I stood there in disbelief. A few seconds later, I began crying uncontrollably.
I was looking at my dead father (even writing this sentence hurts).
His nose was a little wrinkled to the side from the pressure of the sheets. I turned around and walked toward the wall weeping uncontrollably. I wanted it to be a bad dream, but it wasn’t.
My cousin embraced me as I cried more. I turned back around and asked the large man to wait, because I wanted to see my father again. I stood there looking at him, hoping silently he would say it was all a huge mistake. I would have forgiven the hospital if that had been the case. But it wasn’t.
Later when we were burying him, he still didn’t wake. I knew it was silly, but I had hope.
A Changed Perspective On Life
These two experiences had a huge impact on me. For one, they triggered the most intense emotions I’ve ever felt. They also gave me a new perspective on life.
Redefined Priorities
Having a son changed my priorities. I resolved to do anything and everything to ensure he has the happiest life possible.
I choose to shower him with unconditional love, protect him from harm until he can fend for himself, teach and guide him so he can navigate his way through life, and open doors for him so he has choices and possibilities.
Most importantly, I savor every moment I have with him. I decided to balance life and work better. Although work is important, it will not come at the expense of people I love. Working 15-hour days no longer makes sense.
Life is Transient; Make it Worthwhile
Losing my father made me realize how transient life is. He was a figure of strength for me when I was a child. I assumed he would always be there. Time passed and now he’s gone.
His death reminded me to live a meaningful life. It reinforced my resolve to savor it. When my time comes, it won’t be the material possessions that I will miss. It will be the people I love and the experiences I had with them.
I choose to go after my dreams rather than just think about them and waiting for the right moment. Whenever I catch myself hesitating, I choose to either get started or drop it and pursue something else. Hesitation is not an option.
I realized that I don’t necessarily have to risk it all and drop everything to pursue my dreams. That might work for some, but I don’t want to subject my family to the hardship of the dip until things work out.
The journey can be longer. The important thing is to keep moving toward it and savoring the trip along the way.
Lean Into Life
I realized we have three choices in how we approach life and life’s events: we can either go with the flow (i.e. lean back), walk away (quit), or make the most of it (lean in).
I decided to lean into life and things I choose to pursue. Instead of just going with the flow, I choose to set course toward something worthwhile to me and fight for it when I face resistance. Something I’m good at (I will get good at it if I wasn’t already). Something that fits my values. Something I love so much that I lose track of time while doing it.
I choose to do things I’m proud of. I choose to read and learn new things that will light my way and fuel my mind.
Choose To Be Happy
I choose to help others even if they don’t ask for it. I choose to take care of myself. I choose to be around people who add to my life and ignore those who don’t. I choose to experiment with new things and constantly evolve my self, my life, and my work. I make time for my hobbies.
I choose to breathe and relax when I’m stressed about something. In good and bad times, I remind myself that “this too shall pass” and focus on what I can control.
Focus On What’s There, Not What’s Missing
I enjoy the moments I have with my son. I watch him every night while he sleeps. I kiss his chubby feet and play with his toes as he giggles. I relish the rare moments when he settles down and sits on my lap. I savor the moments when he wraps his hand around my finger.
I also cherish the good memories I have of my dad. I feel warmth and joy each time I do.
I encourage you to do the same and lean into life. Prioritize what’s important in your life. Pursue and protect your dreams. Nurture your relationships with people who matter to you. Don’t waste energy on what isn’t important. You can start today
I was standing there crying harder than I had ever cried before in my life. I was so emotionally moved that I totally lost control and was even drooling. It’s a good thing I was wearing a surgical mask.
I was witnessing my wife giving birth to our first-born child.
A nurse had to remind me to take pictures when she saw me standing there with a camera in my hand, crying more than a…well, a baby. It was the happiest moment of my life. I felt joy with a touch of relief and a sense of responsibility toward my wife and son.
It was the most intense rush of emotions I had ever experienced, until…
Fast-forward a year minus five days later. I experienced the saddest and most difficult feelings of my life. It was the same intensity of emotions I felt when my son was born, but it was pure sadness, grief, and emptiness I felt.
I was standing in a small room in a different hospital in a different section. A large man opened a freezer door and rolled out a body wrapped in white sheets. He opened the sheets while I stood there in disbelief. A few seconds later, I began crying uncontrollably.
I was looking at my dead father (even writing this sentence hurts).
His nose was a little wrinkled to the side from the pressure of the sheets. I turned around and walked toward the wall weeping uncontrollably. I wanted it to be a bad dream, but it wasn’t.
My cousin embraced me as I cried more. I turned back around and asked the large man to wait, because I wanted to see my father again. I stood there looking at him, hoping silently he would say it was all a huge mistake. I would have forgiven the hospital if that had been the case. But it wasn’t.
Later when we were burying him, he still didn’t wake. I knew it was silly, but I had hope.
A Changed Perspective On Life
These two experiences had a huge impact on me. For one, they triggered the most intense emotions I’ve ever felt. They also gave me a new perspective on life.
Redefined Priorities
Having a son changed my priorities. I resolved to do anything and everything to ensure he has the happiest life possible.
I choose to shower him with unconditional love, protect him from harm until he can fend for himself, teach and guide him so he can navigate his way through life, and open doors for him so he has choices and possibilities.
Most importantly, I savor every moment I have with him. I decided to balance life and work better. Although work is important, it will not come at the expense of people I love. Working 15-hour days no longer makes sense.
Life is Transient; Make it Worthwhile
Losing my father made me realize how transient life is. He was a figure of strength for me when I was a child. I assumed he would always be there. Time passed and now he’s gone.
His death reminded me to live a meaningful life. It reinforced my resolve to savor it. When my time comes, it won’t be the material possessions that I will miss. It will be the people I love and the experiences I had with them.
I choose to go after my dreams rather than just think about them and waiting for the right moment. Whenever I catch myself hesitating, I choose to either get started or drop it and pursue something else. Hesitation is not an option.
I realized that I don’t necessarily have to risk it all and drop everything to pursue my dreams. That might work for some, but I don’t want to subject my family to the hardship of the dip until things work out.
The journey can be longer. The important thing is to keep moving toward it and savoring the trip along the way.
Lean Into Life
I realized we have three choices in how we approach life and life’s events: we can either go with the flow (i.e. lean back), walk away (quit), or make the most of it (lean in).
I decided to lean into life and things I choose to pursue. Instead of just going with the flow, I choose to set course toward something worthwhile to me and fight for it when I face resistance. Something I’m good at (I will get good at it if I wasn’t already). Something that fits my values. Something I love so much that I lose track of time while doing it.
I choose to do things I’m proud of. I choose to read and learn new things that will light my way and fuel my mind.
Choose To Be Happy
I choose to help others even if they don’t ask for it. I choose to take care of myself. I choose to be around people who add to my life and ignore those who don’t. I choose to experiment with new things and constantly evolve my self, my life, and my work. I make time for my hobbies.
I choose to breathe and relax when I’m stressed about something. In good and bad times, I remind myself that “this too shall pass” and focus on what I can control.
Focus On What’s There, Not What’s Missing
I enjoy the moments I have with my son. I watch him every night while he sleeps. I kiss his chubby feet and play with his toes as he giggles. I relish the rare moments when he settles down and sits on my lap. I savor the moments when he wraps his hand around my finger.
I also cherish the good memories I have of my dad. I feel warmth and joy each time I do.
I encourage you to do the same and lean into life. Prioritize what’s important in your life. Pursue and protect your dreams. Nurture your relationships with people who matter to you. Don’t waste energy on what isn’t important. You can start today
Wednesday, May 15, 2013
Wednesday, May 8, 2013
Prep School Day #3
Welcome to Day 3
with Fabeku Fatunmise
Join Fabeku (our one and only male in Prep School) as he shares he personal, sordid tale of self-love. As a self-proclaimed Suck Exorcist, he will show you some awesome tools to cultivating your AWESOME!
THIS VIDEO ADDRESSES:
:: Two ways to figure out the stories you’re committed to that aren’t serving you.
:: The importance of stepping into your BIGness.
:: An easy way you can start to let go of disempowering beliefs.
with Fabeku Fatunmise
Join Fabeku (our one and only male in Prep School) as he shares he personal, sordid tale of self-love. As a self-proclaimed Suck Exorcist, he will show you some awesome tools to cultivating your AWESOME!
THIS VIDEO ADDRESSES:
:: Two ways to figure out the stories you’re committed to that aren’t serving you.
:: The importance of stepping into your BIGness.
:: An easy way you can start to let go of disempowering beliefs.
Tuesday, May 7, 2013
Monday morning (yesterday's) motivation
"It is not fair to ask of others what you are not willing to do yourself." -Eleanor Roosevelt
I don't think Ms. Roosevelt is talking about laundry. I believe it's things like asking someone to believe in themselves, love themselves, go after their dreams... stuff like that. So, when you're wishing these things for other people, my hope is that you have them well on their way for yourself first.
[JOY JUNKIE]
Used.
"I want to be all used up when I die."
~George Bernard Shaw
Wow. This quote really resonated with me. All used up. Nothing left. You have LIVED life. Every second of it. No regrets. Went after your dreams, your desires. What a sweet deathbed that will be. Join me. When we all lay our heads for our final rest, lets say we took this life by storm. Now start acting like it. Today. Now.
I don't think Ms. Roosevelt is talking about laundry. I believe it's things like asking someone to believe in themselves, love themselves, go after their dreams... stuff like that. So, when you're wishing these things for other people, my hope is that you have them well on their way for yourself first.
[JOY JUNKIE]
Used.
"I want to be all used up when I die."
~George Bernard Shaw
Wow. This quote really resonated with me. All used up. Nothing left. You have LIVED life. Every second of it. No regrets. Went after your dreams, your desires. What a sweet deathbed that will be. Join me. When we all lay our heads for our final rest, lets say we took this life by storm. Now start acting like it. Today. Now.
"remember to enjoy stress, enjoy the rush, work my hardest and most enthusiastically in the moment and offload thoughts about managing outcomes (they are already managed by doing the work, it’s extra pain and mental and emotional RAM wasted)"
For staying positive/fulfilled in the longer term, i've come up with a loose system over the last three years or so. For a long time i struggled with whether to deal with negative emotions biologically or emotionally. Couldn't figure out if happiness was about seratonin levels, money and cars, or being one with the universe. As all polar conflicts tend to go, the answer was somewhere in the middle.
I now use a really basic system to understand why and how i feel good and bad and how to change it. There are two important and inseparable aspects of long term happiness: a thriving brain-body, and emotional fulfillment.
1. Biology
You need your biology to feel positive emotions. Your thoughts and feelings can all be boiled down to neurons firing and chemicals moving around. Any time you feel anything good or bad its happening because of your body. You are your body. No matter how happy you should be, if you cant muster up enough seratonin (oversimplification) you'll feel like depressed shit on the street.
Those days or moments when you feel bad for no reason are usually a result of some kind of wackiness in your homeostasis. And even when you can think of ten reasons to feel depressed (especially if they're broad and existential) they can be completely the result of momentary deficiencies in brain and body health. And if there is a real external reason for bad feelings, biology can make it a 1,000 times worse. Imagine the difference between a creditor hounding you for money you don't have after green tea, meditation, and a big healthy breakfast, and a creditor calling you 2/3 of your way into a meth bender (an extreme example to emphasize the point, but the concept is constantly happening on a subtler level.)
BUT, even if your buzzing on a perfect homeostasis, you can still be unhappy, especially in the long run. Thats where emotional fulfillment comes in.
2. Emotional fulfillment
You have emotional needs. Theres tons of theories on how and why they got there (evolution, culture, ideology, god, personality) and how to categorize them (maslow, psychology, love, ego, altruism, selfishness, yada yada) but what matters is that they're there and you need to fulfill them to feel happy.
The best way i've found to quickly and efficiently analyze how to fulfill those needs is best described by what either jake or austin said a couple weeks ago: "how do i feel about what i do?" (Or how will i feel or how am i feeling). Ask that question as often as possible, in reflection on future improvement and during real time decision making and try to answer with as thick and heavy honesty as possible. The better you feel about what you do the more fulfilled you'll be. Its a great way to analyze happiness because it doesn't rely on anything external or out of your control.
It can get complicated when trying to figure out if you should alter what you do or alter how you feel about it. But giving my brain this type of simple straightforward framing makes it MUCH less complicated, and makes the solution usually come easier and faster.
Whats also important to remember is that you almost always think within these types of systems. And the more you think in a particular one the more automatic and default it becomes. So engineering them on purpose and with clear headed intentions can provide a huge amount of positive change for comparably small effort.
For staying positive/fulfilled in the longer term, i've come up with a loose system over the last three years or so. For a long time i struggled with whether to deal with negative emotions biologically or emotionally. Couldn't figure out if happiness was about seratonin levels, money and cars, or being one with the universe. As all polar conflicts tend to go, the answer was somewhere in the middle.
I now use a really basic system to understand why and how i feel good and bad and how to change it. There are two important and inseparable aspects of long term happiness: a thriving brain-body, and emotional fulfillment.
1. Biology
You need your biology to feel positive emotions. Your thoughts and feelings can all be boiled down to neurons firing and chemicals moving around. Any time you feel anything good or bad its happening because of your body. You are your body. No matter how happy you should be, if you cant muster up enough seratonin (oversimplification) you'll feel like depressed shit on the street.
Those days or moments when you feel bad for no reason are usually a result of some kind of wackiness in your homeostasis. And even when you can think of ten reasons to feel depressed (especially if they're broad and existential) they can be completely the result of momentary deficiencies in brain and body health. And if there is a real external reason for bad feelings, biology can make it a 1,000 times worse. Imagine the difference between a creditor hounding you for money you don't have after green tea, meditation, and a big healthy breakfast, and a creditor calling you 2/3 of your way into a meth bender (an extreme example to emphasize the point, but the concept is constantly happening on a subtler level.)
BUT, even if your buzzing on a perfect homeostasis, you can still be unhappy, especially in the long run. Thats where emotional fulfillment comes in.
2. Emotional fulfillment
You have emotional needs. Theres tons of theories on how and why they got there (evolution, culture, ideology, god, personality) and how to categorize them (maslow, psychology, love, ego, altruism, selfishness, yada yada) but what matters is that they're there and you need to fulfill them to feel happy.
The best way i've found to quickly and efficiently analyze how to fulfill those needs is best described by what either jake or austin said a couple weeks ago: "how do i feel about what i do?" (Or how will i feel or how am i feeling). Ask that question as often as possible, in reflection on future improvement and during real time decision making and try to answer with as thick and heavy honesty as possible. The better you feel about what you do the more fulfilled you'll be. Its a great way to analyze happiness because it doesn't rely on anything external or out of your control.
It can get complicated when trying to figure out if you should alter what you do or alter how you feel about it. But giving my brain this type of simple straightforward framing makes it MUCH less complicated, and makes the solution usually come easier and faster.
Whats also important to remember is that you almost always think within these types of systems. And the more you think in a particular one the more automatic and default it becomes. So engineering them on purpose and with clear headed intentions can provide a huge amount of positive change for comparably small effort.
Sunday, May 5, 2013
5/5/13
Run in the rain today. Wet on every part of my body. Head already soaked from a shower. Music pushing me with its beats. The run back, the sound of rain and cars driving by pushed my feet with a slower pace. Celebrating a breakthrough of pain in the rain.
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