life purpose

“Don’t take life too seriously. You’ll never get out alive.” ~Elbert Hubbard

So I made it my mission to not take life so seriously and to learn to be present each day in order to find happiness within myself and for my new life. These were my daily mantras:

1. Give yourself some credit.

I took a big risk when I quit my job. I took an even bigger risk moving to an island. Rather than being down on myself for not having a career at the moment or not feeling like my life has a purpose, I give myself credit for the little things: learning Spanish a bit more, attempting to surf, taking pilates each week at a local studio, meeting new people.

When you are focusing on what you see as bad things, you are preventing the good from shining through.

Don’t be so hard on yourself. Take ten minutes of meditation time each day and thank yourself for it afterward. Get up early and make a healthy breakfast. Talk to someone new in line at the coffee shop. Notice the little things you are already doing each day for yourself.

2. Stop thinking so much.

Think of nothing for two whole minutes. Clear your mind. Don’t put effort into thinking about things that haven’t happened yet. It will just cause you worry. It’s too much for one little mind and it’s a waste of your time and energy.

I still catch myself in a whirlwind of thoughts each day and every time this happens, I stop, I take three deep breaths, I think about something positive, and I smile. There is always a reason to smile and less of a reason to worry.

3. It’s okay to take a break.

My family asked me why I was wasting a college degree and why I spent my 401k to move to an island. I didn’t have a straight answer for them, but I did know that I worked harder than I ever had for six years of my life, for almost twelve hours each day and put up with a lack of appreciation for what I did.

So it was okay if I took some time to do nothing. You don’t have to be achieving scientific discovery every day. It’s okay to take time to simply be and to experience life.

4. You don’t have to find your life purpose tomorrow.

I used to hate the saying “find what you love and go do it.” As if it’s so easy. But each day, don’t be afraid to attempt something new. In Puerto Rico, I have learned that I actually like oysters. I love being in the water. I am more creative than I thought I could be.

I still haven’t found what I love in life or what my “purpose” is, but trying is the only way to find it.

http://tinybuddha.com/blog/when-you-dont-have-a-clear-purpose-4-helpful-mantras/

more perfection for me.

For security: Seek self-assurance
Rather than always looking to the other person to make you feel secure in your relationship, get into the habit of reassuring yourself. Start to challenge your own fears and imaginings rather than just accepting them. Ask yourself: "Hold on a second. What real evidence is there for this fear?" At the same time you can focus on the thought: "Okay, nothing in this life is certain and I can live with that. And even if this relationship did end, I'm strong enough to go through it and ride it and will have learnt things from it." We all need to go with the flow in relationships. What we fear will be 'the end of the world' if it happens never really is.

Sit down, close your eyes, and strongly imagine feeling relaxed and secure around your partner. This will train your brain to feel that "whatever happens, I'll be okay."

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Focus on the good
Relationships are meant to be fun (at least some of the time). Insecure people look for signs of what's not working. I want you to look for signs of what is.

Doing this will get you and your partner feeling naturally more positive.

No meaningful relationship will always totally work all the time. Being too black or white about relationships spells trouble. There are always some difficulties, but keep focusing on what is good.

This doesn't mean that you have to accept anyone who will accept you, even if they are obviously not right for you. But it does mean that if there are occasional problems, you don't have to 'throw the baby out with the bathwater' and become so destructive that the relationship ends or so clingy that your partner ends it for you.

Emma learned to relax and enjoy her relationship. She stopped feeling she had to control what her partner thought or did and her new laidback attitude made it easier for their love to genuinely blossom.

A good relationship is there for you to enjoy together, to share resources and develop together in healthy ways. If someone really does treat you badly or lies and cheats, then feeling insecure is a natural and justified response. However, if you're actually in a generally good relationship, then follow these tips because what you have is precious.

But possibly not as precious as the knowledge that whatever happens, you can relax because you'll be okay.