1. Isolation
Of all the research out there, social connection is one of the most proven ways to prevent and cure depression. However, the problem is that depression will often tell us we’re no fun and nobody wants to hang out with us, leading us back to isolation. Acknowledge that the thought does not serve you and, given your current state, and reach out. Join a Meetup group, a team, or call an old friend.
2. Grief
Ever been through a breakup, lost a job, experienced the loss of a family member or pet, or found yourself out of school for the first time? All of these situations are thick with grief. If you’ve experienced a major transition or loss in the past year (or longer if you’ve suppressed your grief), chances are your depression might be tied to that. Grief mimics depression, so feeling unmotivated, low, irritable, disinterested in things you used to enjoy, disconnected, unable to focus, and experiencing disturbances in your sleep and diet are likely related to your adjustment to the transition or loss.
3. Sleep-deprivation
Ever noticed how much more fragile and lethargic you are after a bad sleep? Exhaustion affects our mood, our energy levels, and our cognitive functioning. The problem is, depression can cause sleep disturbances, so it can become a vicious cycle. Speak with your therapist about ensuring proper sleep hygiene, learning cognitive behavioral strategies for managing insomnia, and, if you believe you might have a sleep disorder, consider getting a referral to a sleep specialist. Some sleep disorders are highly-correlated with depression.
4. Missing meaning
From an existential perspective, we require meaning in our lives for happiness. According to Viktor Frankl, we can find this meaning through work, relationships (romantic and otherwise), helping others, learning, creative endeavors (e.g. writing, music, art/design), and spirituality, to name a few. If you’re in a career you despise, or feel “lost” in life, depression has likely come about to tell you that the way you’re living your life does not align with your values and desires. Take it as a positive sign that change needs to happen, and consider how your life would look if you felt fulfilled in some (or all) of the aforementioned areas.
5. A critical inner voice
Imagine how worthless you’d feel if you had a verbally-abusive friend, partner, or parent beside you at all times. Well, this is how it is for many people who are highly self-critical. Pay attention to your internal voice. What’s its flavor? If you find you’re saying things to yourself that you would never say to a friend, it’s time to make a change. Several studies have shown that learning self-compassion can be an effective intervention in treating depression. Therapy can be a wonderful place to learn this language of healthy striving.
6. A lack of exercise
Along with social connection, exercise is another variable that is highly supported in its relationship to depression. There’s no need to join a CrossFit gym or to sign up for a marathon (although you can do that, too), but you’re likely to notice a difference in your mood from doing 20 minutes of yoga on your lunch hour, or getting out for a walk around the block after work. No time? Combine it with #1 and ask a friend to go for a walk.
7. Not enough nature
Recently, several studies have supported the benefits of “ecotherapy” or “green therapy” in treating depression. It fosters mindfulness and feelings of calm. When’s the last time you got outside and were surrounded by green? Try to fit this into your daily routine—even if it’s for only five minutes! If you live in a big city, make a point to hit up a park or shoreline.
8. Poor diet
More and more research is emerging that suggests nutrient deficiencies and food allergies are linked to depression. For example, studies have shown vitamins B and D are negatively correlated with depressed mood, while gluten is positively correlated (in those who suffer from intolerance). Every individual is different, but getting a blood test and seeing a naturopath, dietician, or holistic nutritionist might benefit you.
9. Stress
Studies have shown that chronic stress can lead to depression. Some stress is good, but when it outweighs coping, it might be a factor in why you’re feeling depressed. If you can’t cut some of your responsibilities, consider assessing where the expectations you feel are coming from (i.e. someone else, or yourself), and take some of the pressure off. Permit yourself to lower your expectations for performance, make mistakes, quit, and ask for help. In other words, stop treating yourself like a machine and let yourself be a human being.
10. All work & no play
Many people are under the (false) impression that once we reach adulthood we no longer need or deserve “fun.” Or that we’re only allowed to have “fun” once our work is done. Well, given the fact that there will ALWAYS be something more to do—another bill to pay, another project to complete, or another load of laundry to do—chances are you’re setting yourself up for a life that’s not very enjoyable. Allow yourself to carve some time out of your daily schedule to do something you enjoy. This could be an activity, or it could be lying on the couch watching Netflix.
11. Imbalanced hormones
Imbalances or deficiencies in estrogen, progesterone, and cortisol are all correlated with depression. Consider checking out these areas to ensure the depression you’re experiencing is not related to one of these!
12. Not dealing with emotions
We have primary and secondary feelings. Primary feelings are the ones that we feel at the core—for example, sadness or anger, anxiety or loneliness. Secondary feelings what we feel when we judge ourselves for having the primary feelings. Imagine you’re feeling depressed, but then you beat yourself up for feeling depressed and tell yourself you’re broken and need to stop feeling depressed. Now you’re not just feeling depressed; you’re also feeling shameful, pressured, and frustrated. By giving yourself permission to feel the feelings that come up (whatever they may be) with compassion and without judgment, you may notice a weight lifted off your shoulders.
Showing posts with label choice. Show all posts
Showing posts with label choice. Show all posts
Wednesday, March 12, 2014
Friday, July 19, 2013
What Matters Is the Choice You Make Right Now
Those changes are the result of changing my inner monologue from, “Why did I make such bad choices?” to “What’s the best choice I can make now?”
The biggest difference between me now and me then is that I no longer sit alone in shame, compounding negative feelings with self-judgment, which only keeps me feeling stuck.
I accept that I am human, and that a part of that is going through highs and lows. I know I will go through tough times, and I know I can bounce back when I do, even if it takes a while.
I have learned that we are not powerless. It may not always seem like it, but we have a say in what happens—and when events seem beyond our control, we have a say in how we respond to them.
That’s all we can ever control, and that’s what really matters: the choice we make right now.
The biggest difference between me now and me then is that I no longer sit alone in shame, compounding negative feelings with self-judgment, which only keeps me feeling stuck.
I accept that I am human, and that a part of that is going through highs and lows. I know I will go through tough times, and I know I can bounce back when I do, even if it takes a while.
I have learned that we are not powerless. It may not always seem like it, but we have a say in what happens—and when events seem beyond our control, we have a say in how we respond to them.
That’s all we can ever control, and that’s what really matters: the choice we make right now.
Tuesday, June 11, 2013
Those self-help email subscriptions? There when I need em!
Thankful.
Socrates believed that human choice was motivated by the desire for happiness, ultimate wisdom comes from knowing oneself and the more a person knows, the greater his or her ability to reason and make choices that will bring true happiness.
Read each quote slowly and soak up the learnings from a man with a truly great mind.
Socrates believed that human choice was motivated by the desire for happiness, ultimate wisdom comes from knowing oneself and the more a person knows, the greater his or her ability to reason and make choices that will bring true happiness.
Read each quote slowly and soak up the learnings from a man with a truly great mind.
Monday, May 20, 2013
Lean into Your Life While You Can
“Learn to appreciate what you have before time makes you appreciate what you had.” ~Unknown
I was standing there crying harder than I had ever cried before in my life. I was so emotionally moved that I totally lost control and was even drooling. It’s a good thing I was wearing a surgical mask.
I was witnessing my wife giving birth to our first-born child.
A nurse had to remind me to take pictures when she saw me standing there with a camera in my hand, crying more than a…well, a baby. It was the happiest moment of my life. I felt joy with a touch of relief and a sense of responsibility toward my wife and son.
It was the most intense rush of emotions I had ever experienced, until…
Fast-forward a year minus five days later. I experienced the saddest and most difficult feelings of my life. It was the same intensity of emotions I felt when my son was born, but it was pure sadness, grief, and emptiness I felt.
I was standing in a small room in a different hospital in a different section. A large man opened a freezer door and rolled out a body wrapped in white sheets. He opened the sheets while I stood there in disbelief. A few seconds later, I began crying uncontrollably.
I was looking at my dead father (even writing this sentence hurts).
His nose was a little wrinkled to the side from the pressure of the sheets. I turned around and walked toward the wall weeping uncontrollably. I wanted it to be a bad dream, but it wasn’t.
My cousin embraced me as I cried more. I turned back around and asked the large man to wait, because I wanted to see my father again. I stood there looking at him, hoping silently he would say it was all a huge mistake. I would have forgiven the hospital if that had been the case. But it wasn’t.
Later when we were burying him, he still didn’t wake. I knew it was silly, but I had hope.
A Changed Perspective On Life
These two experiences had a huge impact on me. For one, they triggered the most intense emotions I’ve ever felt. They also gave me a new perspective on life.
Redefined Priorities
Having a son changed my priorities. I resolved to do anything and everything to ensure he has the happiest life possible.
I choose to shower him with unconditional love, protect him from harm until he can fend for himself, teach and guide him so he can navigate his way through life, and open doors for him so he has choices and possibilities.
Most importantly, I savor every moment I have with him. I decided to balance life and work better. Although work is important, it will not come at the expense of people I love. Working 15-hour days no longer makes sense.
Life is Transient; Make it Worthwhile
Losing my father made me realize how transient life is. He was a figure of strength for me when I was a child. I assumed he would always be there. Time passed and now he’s gone.
His death reminded me to live a meaningful life. It reinforced my resolve to savor it. When my time comes, it won’t be the material possessions that I will miss. It will be the people I love and the experiences I had with them.
I choose to go after my dreams rather than just think about them and waiting for the right moment. Whenever I catch myself hesitating, I choose to either get started or drop it and pursue something else. Hesitation is not an option.
I realized that I don’t necessarily have to risk it all and drop everything to pursue my dreams. That might work for some, but I don’t want to subject my family to the hardship of the dip until things work out.
The journey can be longer. The important thing is to keep moving toward it and savoring the trip along the way.
Lean Into Life
I realized we have three choices in how we approach life and life’s events: we can either go with the flow (i.e. lean back), walk away (quit), or make the most of it (lean in).
I decided to lean into life and things I choose to pursue. Instead of just going with the flow, I choose to set course toward something worthwhile to me and fight for it when I face resistance. Something I’m good at (I will get good at it if I wasn’t already). Something that fits my values. Something I love so much that I lose track of time while doing it.
I choose to do things I’m proud of. I choose to read and learn new things that will light my way and fuel my mind.
Choose To Be Happy
I choose to help others even if they don’t ask for it. I choose to take care of myself. I choose to be around people who add to my life and ignore those who don’t. I choose to experiment with new things and constantly evolve my self, my life, and my work. I make time for my hobbies.
I choose to breathe and relax when I’m stressed about something. In good and bad times, I remind myself that “this too shall pass” and focus on what I can control.
Focus On What’s There, Not What’s Missing
I enjoy the moments I have with my son. I watch him every night while he sleeps. I kiss his chubby feet and play with his toes as he giggles. I relish the rare moments when he settles down and sits on my lap. I savor the moments when he wraps his hand around my finger.
I also cherish the good memories I have of my dad. I feel warmth and joy each time I do.
I encourage you to do the same and lean into life. Prioritize what’s important in your life. Pursue and protect your dreams. Nurture your relationships with people who matter to you. Don’t waste energy on what isn’t important. You can start today
I was standing there crying harder than I had ever cried before in my life. I was so emotionally moved that I totally lost control and was even drooling. It’s a good thing I was wearing a surgical mask.
I was witnessing my wife giving birth to our first-born child.
A nurse had to remind me to take pictures when she saw me standing there with a camera in my hand, crying more than a…well, a baby. It was the happiest moment of my life. I felt joy with a touch of relief and a sense of responsibility toward my wife and son.
It was the most intense rush of emotions I had ever experienced, until…
Fast-forward a year minus five days later. I experienced the saddest and most difficult feelings of my life. It was the same intensity of emotions I felt when my son was born, but it was pure sadness, grief, and emptiness I felt.
I was standing in a small room in a different hospital in a different section. A large man opened a freezer door and rolled out a body wrapped in white sheets. He opened the sheets while I stood there in disbelief. A few seconds later, I began crying uncontrollably.
I was looking at my dead father (even writing this sentence hurts).
His nose was a little wrinkled to the side from the pressure of the sheets. I turned around and walked toward the wall weeping uncontrollably. I wanted it to be a bad dream, but it wasn’t.
My cousin embraced me as I cried more. I turned back around and asked the large man to wait, because I wanted to see my father again. I stood there looking at him, hoping silently he would say it was all a huge mistake. I would have forgiven the hospital if that had been the case. But it wasn’t.
Later when we were burying him, he still didn’t wake. I knew it was silly, but I had hope.
A Changed Perspective On Life
These two experiences had a huge impact on me. For one, they triggered the most intense emotions I’ve ever felt. They also gave me a new perspective on life.
Redefined Priorities
Having a son changed my priorities. I resolved to do anything and everything to ensure he has the happiest life possible.
I choose to shower him with unconditional love, protect him from harm until he can fend for himself, teach and guide him so he can navigate his way through life, and open doors for him so he has choices and possibilities.
Most importantly, I savor every moment I have with him. I decided to balance life and work better. Although work is important, it will not come at the expense of people I love. Working 15-hour days no longer makes sense.
Life is Transient; Make it Worthwhile
Losing my father made me realize how transient life is. He was a figure of strength for me when I was a child. I assumed he would always be there. Time passed and now he’s gone.
His death reminded me to live a meaningful life. It reinforced my resolve to savor it. When my time comes, it won’t be the material possessions that I will miss. It will be the people I love and the experiences I had with them.
I choose to go after my dreams rather than just think about them and waiting for the right moment. Whenever I catch myself hesitating, I choose to either get started or drop it and pursue something else. Hesitation is not an option.
I realized that I don’t necessarily have to risk it all and drop everything to pursue my dreams. That might work for some, but I don’t want to subject my family to the hardship of the dip until things work out.
The journey can be longer. The important thing is to keep moving toward it and savoring the trip along the way.
Lean Into Life
I realized we have three choices in how we approach life and life’s events: we can either go with the flow (i.e. lean back), walk away (quit), or make the most of it (lean in).
I decided to lean into life and things I choose to pursue. Instead of just going with the flow, I choose to set course toward something worthwhile to me and fight for it when I face resistance. Something I’m good at (I will get good at it if I wasn’t already). Something that fits my values. Something I love so much that I lose track of time while doing it.
I choose to do things I’m proud of. I choose to read and learn new things that will light my way and fuel my mind.
Choose To Be Happy
I choose to help others even if they don’t ask for it. I choose to take care of myself. I choose to be around people who add to my life and ignore those who don’t. I choose to experiment with new things and constantly evolve my self, my life, and my work. I make time for my hobbies.
I choose to breathe and relax when I’m stressed about something. In good and bad times, I remind myself that “this too shall pass” and focus on what I can control.
Focus On What’s There, Not What’s Missing
I enjoy the moments I have with my son. I watch him every night while he sleeps. I kiss his chubby feet and play with his toes as he giggles. I relish the rare moments when he settles down and sits on my lap. I savor the moments when he wraps his hand around my finger.
I also cherish the good memories I have of my dad. I feel warmth and joy each time I do.
I encourage you to do the same and lean into life. Prioritize what’s important in your life. Pursue and protect your dreams. Nurture your relationships with people who matter to you. Don’t waste energy on what isn’t important. You can start today
Tuesday, May 14, 2013
5/14/13 Pain.
Pain in the...
"Pain makes people change, but it also makes them stronger."
~Unknown
This quote couldn't be truer for me at the moment. And, I'm pretty sure I'm not alone. The Universe has been toughening me up over this past weekend, and you know what? I feel pretty badass that I rose to the occasion. Here's the thing that I always come back to: No matter how bad a situation is, there is almost always something that could be worse. And no matter what, we always, ALWAYS have the conscious choice of how we view our situation. We can wallow in the pain and label ourselves victims. Or, we can allow ourselves to feel what we feel and CHOOSE an empowering perspective that catapults our healing. Even if more pain is on the way. We forget how much choice we have in how we view our circumstance. But choice is never broken. And, it's always our call. I dig.
"Pain makes people change, but it also makes them stronger."
~Unknown
This quote couldn't be truer for me at the moment. And, I'm pretty sure I'm not alone. The Universe has been toughening me up over this past weekend, and you know what? I feel pretty badass that I rose to the occasion. Here's the thing that I always come back to: No matter how bad a situation is, there is almost always something that could be worse. And no matter what, we always, ALWAYS have the conscious choice of how we view our situation. We can wallow in the pain and label ourselves victims. Or, we can allow ourselves to feel what we feel and CHOOSE an empowering perspective that catapults our healing. Even if more pain is on the way. We forget how much choice we have in how we view our circumstance. But choice is never broken. And, it's always our call. I dig.
Monday, April 22, 2013
4/22/13
“People are always blaming their circumstances for what they are. I don’t believe in circumstances. The people who get on in this world are the people who get up and look for the circumstances they want, and, if they can’t find them, make them.”
~ George Bernard Shaw
It's so easy to fall into the "whoa-is-me" trap. Look at all this shit happening TO me. Successful people aren't those who never have hardship. Successful people see that hardship as an obstacle... something to surmount... not something that defines who they are. You circumstances will come and go... but who do you want to BE in the process? Rain or shine, shitty or amazing... who do you consciously choose to BE?
-Joy Junkie
~ George Bernard Shaw
It's so easy to fall into the "whoa-is-me" trap. Look at all this shit happening TO me. Successful people aren't those who never have hardship. Successful people see that hardship as an obstacle... something to surmount... not something that defines who they are. You circumstances will come and go... but who do you want to BE in the process? Rain or shine, shitty or amazing... who do you consciously choose to BE?
-Joy Junkie
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