40 Day Fast from Negative Thoughts

1 Tim. 2:15 STUDY and be eager and do your utmost to present yourself to God approved (tested by trial), a workman who has no cause to be ashamed, correctly analyzing and accurately dividing [rightly handling and skillfully TEACHING] the WORD of TRUTH. Amplified Psalm 91:1-2 He who dwells in the SECRET PLACE of the Most High [EL ELYON] shall abide under the shadow of the Almighty [SHADDAI]. I will say of the Lord, “He is my REFUGE and my FORTRESS, My God, in Him I will trust.”

d. Joshua 1:8 This book of the Law [Torah] shall not depart out of your mouth, but you shall MEDITATE on it by day and by night, so that you may be careful to do according to all that is written in it. For then you shall make your way prosperous, and then you shall act wisely.

e. 1 Timothy 4:15 MEDITATE on these things; be in these things in order that your improvement may appear to all.

c. 1 Cor. 10:13 No TEMPTATION has taken you but what is common to man; but God is faithful, who will not allow you to be TEMPTED above what you are able, but with the TEMPTATION also will make a way to escape, so that you may be able to bear it.

d. James 1:12-14 Blessed is the man who endures TEMPTATION, because having been approved, he will receive the crown of life which the Lord has promised to those who love Him. Let no one being TEMPTED say, I am TEMPTED from God. For God is not TEMPTED by evils, and He TEMPTS no one. But each one is tempted by his lusts, being drawn away and seduced by them.

Step 3 – APPLY THE PRINCIPLES OF YOUR TEXTBOOK [THE WORD OF GOD]:

a. Rom 2:13-15 For it is not the hearers of the Law who are just before God, but the DOERS of the Law will be justified. For when the nations, who do not have the Law, do by nature the things of the Law, these, not having the Law, are a law unto themselves, who show the work of the Law [Torah] written in their hearts, their conscience also bearing witness, and the thoughts between one another accusing or even excusing one another.

b. James 1:22-25 But become DOERS of the Word, and not hearers only, deceiving your own selves. For if anyone is a hearer of the Word and not a DOER, he is like a man studying his natural face in a mirror. For he studied himself and went his way, and immediately he forgot what he was like. But whoever looks into the Perfect Law of liberty (The Law [Torah] is Perfect” – Psalm 19:7) and continues in it, he is not a forgetful hearer, but a DOERS of the work. This one shall be BLESSED in his doing.

Think It, Say It & Do It!:

I READ, MEDITATE & STUDY THE PRINCIPLES OF MY TEXTBOOK, the Word of God, as I SEE MY TEMPTATIONS AS SIMPLY A TEST, and APPLY ITS PRINCIPLES in Yeshua’s Name! Shalom Y’all!

5 Simple Ways to Respond to Negative People

Many of the most valuable lessons I have learned have come from people I most definitely do not want to be like. You know the type.

For example, I have a family member who is the embodiment of cynicism, doom and gloom. He rarely has anything positive to say and his dark jokes revolve around someone else’s misfortune.

Whenever asked, "How’s it going?" he details his latest job woes in a manner that reflects his view that the world is out to get him. He can also talk for hours about his dark conspiracy theories.

Being around him can be draining, to say the least. Most family members suffer in silent resignation, head for another room, or step out into the garden for some fresh air to get away.

I often do the same. At other times, I feel compassion and attempt to share the benefits of seeing life from a more elevated perspective while also hinting at the importance of taking ownership of one's shadow.

There are also times when, if I am not careful, I find myself getting drawn into the gravitational pull of his dark energy. When this happens, he unloads his grievances and walks away with a light spring in his step while I am left feeling like I need a shower.

In other words: this man is a fantastic ally. He has taught me incredible lessons about where and why I allow myself to be pulled off center and out of my heart. Through him, I have woken up to when this happens.

As a form of protection, I have created an internal checklist to respond to people both at work and at home who are negative or stuck in a dark mood. The checklist goes like this:

1. What does this person need?

Is there a chance that a positive input is being sought? If the answer is yes, then share something to lift the mood. If the answer is no, keep the interaction brief and walk away.

2. Are they acting as a mirror?

The answer is yes if we are being sucked in. When there is a pull, there is a resonance. Someone or something "out there" shows us where we are resisting the flow of life. When this is the case, we can breathe in deeply and accept what is.

3. This too will pass.

While we can offer compassion and point to other alternatives, we are not responsible. Suffering is a choice. When we maintain our state, we are part of the solution rather than adding to the illusion. In this way, we create space for an opening of awareness to happen, which is more than enough.

4. Avoidance is O.K.

We can protect and safeguard the sanctity of our internal state by making sure we are with people who nurture us. On other occasions, when we have no alternative as a consequence of work or family obligations, we can remain upbeat and keep turning every negative comment into a positive. Do it for long enough and it works wonders. If the other person cannot get you on his or her negative side, they will eventually give up.

5. Love really is the answer.

Everything always comes down to love. If we love and respect ourselves, we do not give ourselves away so cheaply. We do not come down from our state. We do not concede who we are for the sake of someone’s need to off-load. We can listen with love. We only get dumped on when we allow ourselves to become part of the drama.

**

The next time that person comes your way, be grateful. No matter how mean, dark-spirited or negative they may be, they are here to teach us how to love, honor and respect who we are and what we have to offer the world.

I would say that is an invaluable gift wouldn’t you?

http://www.mindbodygreen.com/0-6472/5-Simple-Ways-to-Respond-to-Negative-People.html

A place for negativity.
"Life is like photography. We develop from the negatives."
~Unknown

Ah, man. I just fell in love with this one, the moment I saw it. How's this for a perspective shift: What if that horrible thing you are going through right now or that awful person you can't stand... what if all that negativity is meant for your DEVELOPMENT. Meant to really teach you something? Make you stronger? You may not know what it is yet. It may take some time. But, if you find yourself stuck in a murky place, start toying with the idea that you WILL be a stronger person because of it. What if you start looking for the lesson instead of focusing on how shitty it is? Or better yet, what if you start CHOOSING that this will not define you. Not destroy you. And CHOOSING that you WILL overcome. You're move, ace.

***Simple Technique to Stop Negative Thoughts***

In my early 20s I experienced a personal breakdown as a result of storing repressed memories and emotions associated to various incidents over the years. My mental health decided that one day it was giving up and went into self sabotage and desolation. I would wake up every day feeling numb and exhausted. I would have terrible visualizations that something bad was going to happen. I even had flashes of harrowing pictures involving the people I deeply cared about. Every day seemed like an uphill struggle and lacked any feelings of excitement about anything. It never used to take much to get me excited (as I was such a positive person), but during this time I could never get into that excited, happy state. I would go out and spend money on a whim in the hope that it would give me a buzz, make me feel a bit more alive inside. Of course, it never did

I was very conscious that as a naturally happy person I was feeling very different. I remember vividly looking out into my garden and seeing a dark and grey border around the edges of my vision. It was like I was in a tunnel, and all I could see was what was in front of me. Every time a happy thought came into my mind, something horrible took it away by replacing it with something unpleasant. I put up with it for three years, and things started to get better as I took a course in homeopathy and naturally weaned myself off anti-depressants. The strange, sporadic flashes kept continuing, however, and I was worried that I was going to create or experience them. I was unable to fully control my thoughts, and I began to understand why a few years later.

I have always had a deep fascination with the psychology of the mind and decided to qualify in Neuro Linguistic Programming. During my studies, I began to understand how my mind was working, and the realization that I could literally manipulate my thoughts amazed me. I became a master of my own mind, and I am going to teach you how you can re-wire yours as well.

I am sure some of you reading this have experienced similar bizarre thoughts and visualizations. The unconscious mind is very powerful, dominating the conscious mind, playing tricks on us and causing us to think in negative ways. Of course, a common issue is the lack of serotonin in the brain which can create negative feelings, and many people turn to pills to try to balance it out. But, pills really only act as a plaster (I am not a doctor, though, and do not suggest that you stop taking them if you are on them). In my experience, I had terrible side effects from taking anti-depressants: my body would often reject them, and I tried out about six different types. Finally, I turned to an amazing therapist and homoeopathist who weaned me off them; I will always remember him to this day for that very reason.

Your deepest healing must start with identifying the root cause of your unhappiness. Many people are not even aware of their root causes, fighting against themselves but feeling mentally defeated and worn out. That is why it’s so important to work with a professional who can help you draw out the deeper underlying triggers; do not suffer alone.

My moment of clarity came when I realized that thoughts were simply that – a thought. I wasn’t going mad, but I had unconsciously anchored some very negative thought patterns because I was in a state of self sabotage. I had unconsciously learned to punish myself with a negative thought, whenever I was starting to feel positive again. I had simply learned a habit of thinking negatively during my experience of depression, and my mission was to undo this detrimental behavior.

The magic to finally alleviating this way of thinking came by being able to detach myself from the thought itself. I would acknowledge when one popped into my head, really notice the detail, thank it, and then let go of it. I removed any anxiety or fear around my thoughts, and by simply accepting them as thoughts, they disappeared over time.

Before I mastered NLP, the above process was extremely effective for me. I was actually achieving my own re-wiring without really being aware of what I was doing. The great news for you is that I am about to share an NLP technique which may speed up the process a bit:

When you find yourself thinking a negative thought, going back into a past memory or saying something which is detrimental to your well-being, follow this simple technique:
Find a quiet place where you can sit and not be interrupted, and close your eyes (you can keep your eyes open if it’s easier).
Bring in the thought, words or feelings that are causing you upset or discomfort.
Notice how they are making you feel, what you see, hear, smell or taste.
Decide what you would like to replace the thought, word or feeling with. Perhaps it might be something which smells nice, tastes nice or feels good. Perhaps you have a past happy memory which you could use to replace this thought. Really connect to the state.
Imagine or pretend to release the thought, word or feeling, so it is separate from you. Maybe you might want to imagine that it’s a particular color, shape or person, and see it as though it’s in front of you on the floor like an object.
When you are ready, using your imagination, bring in the positive thought or feeling which you’d like instead, and saturate the negative thought you see in front of you. Soak it, dowse it, drown it, and suffocate it!
Remain in that wonderful state of positivity until the negative thought has disappeared.
Come back into the room, look at the time, and do a quick jog on the spot… (trust me on that bit!).

Re-Train your Brain to Think More Positively

http://forthhorizons.com/re-train-your-brain-to-think-more-positively/

When Your Inner Critic Stifles Your Creativity: 4 Helpful Truths

“The reason we struggle with insecurity is because we compare our behind-the-scenes with everyone else’s highlight reel.” ~Steve Furtick

We live in an artistically enriched country. The world is already full of all kinds of music, so much art, and so many books. With the Internet, you can experience art’s many forms at the click of a mouse.

In my heart, I am an artist. Ever since I was a young girl, I have loved creating artwork. Writing stories, drawing illustrations, playing the piano, painting, sculpting…

The unfortunate thing is that I am paralyzed—not in the medical sense. I have working limbs, imagination, training, experience, and the resources to “actualize my potential” as an artist. The thing I lack is confidence.

I am crippled by my own self-doubt.

When I was young, I didn’t seem to care about what other people thought. But the older I get, the more apprehensive I become. My fear of failure is greater than my fear of never creating anything ever again.

All artists, to some extent, have a very tough self-standard. The fear of falling short of your expectations can easily prevent you to create, particularly if you lack confidence.

Each time I see a beautiful painting, hear a moving song, come face to face with a realistic sculpture, or read an inspiring autobiography, I become immobilized. Instead of being stimulated by what I see, I get discouraged, and I am way less likely to create anything on my own. “The world doesn’t need anything else,” I think, “because it already has those.”

“What do I have to offer to the world? Why would anyone want to hear my voice? What original, unique art can I possibly create that doesn’t already exist? I might as well give up…”

I think this negativity comes from the bad habit of listening to my “inner critic” instead of focusing on “reality.”

If I let the pessimistic thoughts of my inner critic control my life, then I would never become the artist I want to be. My inner critic loves to put down my individuality and threaten me with failure. I’ve come to the conclusion that my inner critic doesn’t want me to succeed.

With that powerful information, each time I am tempted to belittle my individuality, I remember these four encouraging truths:

1. I am me, and there is no one else who is me. No one else can create what I can create.

2. Having courage doesn’t mean you’re not afraid. Having courage is taking action in spite of being afraid.

3. Your imperfections are part of who you are and part of what makes you beautiful. Be proud of being you, even with all your flaws and failures.

4. If you fail, so what! If you create art for the world, you will never be satisfied. Create art for yourself.

I often repeat these things to myself when I am doubtful, when my inner critic is running the show and ruining my life.

Becoming an individual artist can be very scary, especially if you have been paralyzed by fear for a long time. It’s comfortable to go along with the flow, to conform to the culture, and to continue on in the old ruts in road.

However, there is extraordinary life beyond the paved road. There is a giant wood, a great green meadow, an infinite horizon, and countless things to explore. If you always live your life according to the norm, then you will be missing out.

Life changing advice: You don’t have to believe what your inner critic tells you.

Do you have the strength to swim against the flow, to be an individual, to create your own art? Maybe not right this moment, you think, but there is something you can do to help yourself out. You can retrain your thoughts and learn to control your inner critic to allow reality have a rightful place in your life.

If I am experiencing an artist’s block, when I realize my inner critic has taken control, I take out a piece of paper and make two columns.

One reads “inner critic,” and the other reads “reality.” Underneath each header, I make lists (kind of like a pros and cons sheet), distinguishing one thought from the other.

One way to help determine which category to put your thoughts in is to listen to the tone of the thought’s voice (how you talk to yourself). If the tone is anxious, nervous, babbling, stereotypical, and offers you no way out, then it is your “inner critic.” If the tone is optimistic, unemotional, constructive, and practical then it is “realistic.”

Below is an example of a recent list I made while having trouble finishing a painting:

Inner Critic

You can’t do it; you are a “nobody.”
What if you make a mistake? No one will like you if you produce bad art.
You will never be famous. You’re ugly and fat; ugly and fat people cannot produce good art.
Artists are irresponsible. The world hates artists.
Reality

I have artistic talent.
Sometimes I let perfect get in the way of good.
Most days I enjoy creating art.
I am loved no matter what I do, even if I am not perfect.
No else can be me; therefore, no one else can create what I can create.
This mental exercise will take practice, but over time, you will begin to see positive results in your life and your creativity.

At first, it will be difficult to distinguish your self-critic from reality, especially if you have obeyed your fears for a long time. If you try it, I guarantee that you will begin to enjoy a more nourishing, creatively enriched life in the process.

I have been utilizing this practice for a while now. After the first few months, I didn’t have to make physical lists anymore; I could separate the thoughts in my head. Even though, I am still a long way off from where I want to be, I am a lot closer to my goal than I was before.

What are some of your hurdles as an apprehensive artist? How do you overcome your obstacles?

Veneers.

"You may not realize it when it happens, but a kick in the teeth may be the best thing in the world for you."
~Walt Disney

If you haven't noticed, oftentimes the quotes I choose to share with you, are lessons I am currently learning myself. This one is no exception. The thing that I've been realizing lately is that sometimes, when life kicks you in the teeth, you're just being set up for a gorgeous, mouth-full of veneers. Veneers that you would have never seen coming. You probably would have never pursued. So, you can stare at your broken teeth in the mirror and feel sorry for yourself, or you can begin dreaming about how you are going to get yourself a beautiful new set of veneers. And I really think we are far more creative about our life's circumstances when we are forced to. When we didn't see that knock-out comin'. When we just have to figure out a new set of pearlies. So, if you're in a rough one, feeling like your teeth just got smashed, how creative can you get? In what ways are you being pushed? Go get those veneers, baby.

Monday Kick-Butt Quote

“It takes a lot of courage to show your dreams to someone else.” ― Erma Bombeck

So, what are yours, Jesskah? Your dream lives in your head, yes. But, even just telling one person gives your dream power. I invite you today to tell one person about it. Just one!

Joy Junkie Monday Motivation

Egged.
"If egg is broken by outside force, life ends. If broken by inside force, life begins. Great things always begin from the inside."
~Jim Kwik

So... stop searching outside of yourself for all the answers. It's not in the job. The baby. The relationship. The whatever. It starts internally. Allow yourself to still want what you want. But know that your self-worth doesn't have to be defined by what you attain in life. What it's defined by is up to you. How 'bout it's defined by who you ARE. How you show up. Yeah... that feels better.

4/25/13

3 Ways to Feel Good When Things Seem Bad

“It isn’t what happens to us that causes us to suffer; it’s what we say to ourselves about what happens.” ~Pema Chodron

Here are 3 insights that helped during those “you’ve got to be freaking kidding me” times:

1. There’s a healing side to pain.

When a challenging event happens—a break-up, a sickness, or having your leopard pink car seat covers stolen—the human mind, being what it is, thinks this is why you feel badly.

You hear it all the time: “Oh, you poor thing for losing your car seat covers.” Or, “She’s such a rat to do this to you.”

The truth is, it’s your perception of the situation that makes you feel bad. This means that no matter how crumpled-in and dysfunctional you feel, you’re not. It’s just your thoughts that are a bit wonky. And actually, your thoughts on this were always wonky; the situation just exposed them.

Take my situation. Everything I’d based my self-esteem on was gone: work, grades, friends, boyfriend, the ability to sit up straight for more than half an hour.

I thought I was upset because I was sick, when the truth is, my situation had triggered every negative belief I had about myself. Things like:

“I’m only lovable if people like me.” “I’m only worthwhile if I’m busy doing things.”

I so strongly identified with all the things I did that when you took them away, I felt miserable. I’d been given the opportunity to see what I really thought about myself.

Someone could have told me “you’re worthy and lovable,” and I might have intellectually known this, but I didn’t feel it.

What I began to realize was that behind the pain, over time, my faulty beliefs were shifting. My sense of self-worth was beginning to heal by itself.

The pain is the faulty belief system being ripped out by its roots. You feel like you’re losing something dear. The trick is to understand that it’s just a faulty belief going away. And beneath it lays a pocket of self-love that you haven’t previously been able to access.

As poet Kahlil Gibran says: “Your pain is the breaking of the shell that encloses your understanding. Even as the stone of the fruit must break, that its heart may stand in the sun, so must you know pain.”

2. Pain fades when we let go of expectations.

Most of us live in an intellectual way. We make plans for our life and then we try and follow them through. We think we know the best way for our life to proceed.

The truth is, a large part of our pain is caused by an attachment to our expectations.

For example, one of the reasons I felt so bone achingly sorry for myself was because I had a plan for how to have a good life—and it didn’t include Dr. Quinn.

I thought success came from going to college, getting a good job, and having a family. No one said anything about spending all this time in bed. But actually, it was the best thing for me.

To illustrate you how powerful your expectations are, try this exercise:

First, imagine you’re me.

Now, imagine you’d grown up thinking the best way to have an awesome life was to spend five years in bed cross-stitching cushions. That it was something everyone did.

“Oh yeah,” you’d say to your friend, “I’m just off to do my five-years-in-bed years.”

And they’d be like, “Oh cool. I hear you learn such amazing things, like how to feel self-assured, and you get clarity on your life direction, and you start to feel that inner calm we’re always reading about. “

Seriously.

Now think about your current situation and imagine that for your whole life, you believed that what is happening to you was going to happen. And not only that, but it’s the absolute best thing to happen.

So much of the pain we feel is because we can’t let go of how we think life should look. Your mind thinks it knows the best way for your life to work out—but simply put, it doesn’t; the plan it had was flawed in the first place.

Your mind can only see your life as it’s showing up right now. There is a bigger picture.

3. You’re doing fine.

Learning about personal awareness and healing can be such a helpful thing, but remember, there’s no right or wrong way to feel.

Feeling grateful and “being positive” and so on is perfectly fine, and sure, it can be helpful, but if you don’t feel like it all the time, don’t worry about it.

Instead of attaching a judgment to how you’re feeling or what you’re thinking, try just noticing it.

I believe the act of simply noticing and accepting how things are, right now—no matter how messy and dysfunctional they seem—is the most powerful, healing thing you can do.

http://tinybuddha.com/blog/3-ways-to-feel-good-when-things-seem-bad/

How Learning to Be Positive Saved My Life

Easy ways you can become more positive:

Gratitude. Start a gratitude journal in order to focus on the positive. List five things per day in which you are grateful. Getting into this daily habit forces you to appreciate more out of your life, and subsequently conditions your thinking to be on the look out for the positive. You will begin to start looking for things that will go on your daily list, and expecting them to show up. Even if some days you can only think of the basics such as, enough food to eat, a comfortable bed, or the sun shining, no matter how bad a day is you can always be grateful. I remember when my mom told me a story about how her car broke down and she was stranded for three hours in the rain, waiting for AAA to pick her up. When she told my brother about her awful day, he (the eternal optimist) replied, “At least you have a car to break down!”

Affirmations. Begin repeating affirmations. Many of these still amuse me with their annoying level of optimism, or cheesy phrasing. But, they work. Telling yourself such extreme phrases of positive thought teaches your brain to reprogram your thinking to highlight the good in life. Louise Hay is the master of positive affirmations. Simply adding one or two to your wall or bathroom mirror can shift your thinking. Google “positive affirmations”, and there are tons of sites out there that give you a new, daily positive affirmation. Finding ones that go with aspects of your life that you are struggling with also help tremendously. I have found that they can ease anxiety, even if I don’t believe the affirmation 100%. You can’t think two thoughts at once. Only one thought can go through your head at a time (though it may be at lightening speed!)… so while you are saying a positive affirmation to yourself, the thoughts of negativity or anxiety are incapable of existing at the same time. That is the beauty of positive affirmations

Surround yourself with positive people. Keep the naysayers at a distance. We all have people in our lives that seem to always find something to complain about. It’s never their fault, and they always get the worst hand dealt to them. Whether they are family or friends, keep them at a distance. Once you begin to recognize negative thought, you instantly raise your awareness of how negative the people are around you. Your tolerance level for others being negative in your life instantly goes down as soon as your awareness of it goes up. You DESERVE to be happy, and it takes effort to surround yourself with others that are happy. Being happy takes effort, as does depression, but it is the most worthwhile endeavor.

Live in the present. So many people preach this recently… but what does it really mean?? It means don’t expect negativity. Don’t think about some future event and assume a negative outcome. Yesterday, my mom was talking about moving and said to me “If that garage isn’t cleaned out and organized before the move, I will have major stress!!”. Don’t assume that a situation will cause anxiety or stress, otherwise you will absolutely make it a self fulfilling prophecy. Even if you have to force it at first, tell your self it will go smoothly and easily. Don’t look back on past negative events and assume that it is the way a future even will end up. Stay in the now, for this present moment is all we have. Today is all there is. Assume good things will result.

Choose to be positive. I did. Life is so good, you just have to let yourself be able to realize it.

http://dreaminthelife.com/2009/06/hello-world/

“The world is full of a lot of fear and a lot of negativity, and a lot of judgment. I just think people need to start shifting into joy and happiness. As corny as it sounds, we need to make a shift.” ~Ellen DeGeneres

Positive thinking: Reduce stress by eliminating negative self-talk

Positive thinking: Reduce stress by eliminating negative self-talk
Positive thinking helps with stress management and can even improve your health. Practice overcoming negative self-talk with examples provided.

By Mayo Clinic staff
Is your glass half-empty or half-full? How you answer this age-old question about positive thinking may reflect your outlook on life, your attitude toward yourself, and whether you're optimistic or pessimistic — and it may even affect your health.

Indeed, some studies show that personality traits like optimism and pessimism can affect many areas of your health and well-being. The positive thinking that typically comes with optimism is a key part of effective stress management. And effective stress management is associated with many health benefits. If you tend to be pessimistic, don't despair — you can learn positive thinking skills. Here's how.

Understanding positive thinking and self-talk

Positive thinking doesn't mean that you keep your head in the sand and ignore life's less pleasant situations. Positive thinking just means that you approach the unpleasantness in a more positive and productive way. You think the best is going to happen, not the worst.

Positive thinking often starts with self-talk. Self-talk is the endless stream of unspoken thoughts that run through your head every day. These automatic thoughts can be positive or negative. Some of your self-talk comes from logic and reason. Other self-talk may arise from misconceptions that you create because of lack of information.

If the thoughts that run through your head are mostly negative, your outlook on life is more likely pessimistic. If your thoughts are mostly positive, you're likely an optimist — someone who practices positive thinking.

The health benefits of positive thinking

Researchers continue to explore the effects of positive thinking and optimism on health. Health benefits that positive thinking may provide include:

Increased life span
Lower rates of depression
Lower levels of distress
Greater resistance to the common cold
Better psychological and physical well-being
Reduced risk of death from cardiovascular disease
Better coping skills during hardships and times of stress
It's unclear why people who engage in positive thinking experience these health benefits. One theory is that having a positive outlook enables you to cope better with stressful situations, which reduces the harmful health effects of stress on your body. It's also thought that positive and optimistic people tend to live healthier lifestyles — they get more physical activity, follow a healthier diet, and don't smoke or drink alcohol in excess.

Identifying negative thinking

Not sure if your self-talk is positive or negative? Here are some common forms of negative self-talk:

Filtering. You magnify the negative aspects of a situation and filter out all of the positive ones. For example, say you had a great day at work. You completed your tasks ahead of time and were complimented for doing a speedy and thorough job. But you forgot one minor step. That evening, you focus only on your oversight and forget about the compliments you received.
Personalizing. When something bad occurs, you automatically blame yourself. For example, you hear that an evening out with friends is canceled, and you assume that the change in plans is because no one wanted to be around you.
Catastrophizing. You automatically anticipate the worst. The drive-through coffee shop gets your order wrong and you automatically think that the rest of your day will be a disaster.
Polarizing. You see things only as either good or bad, black or white. There is no middle ground. You feel that you have to be perfect or that you're a total failure.
Focusing on positive thinking

You can learn to turn negative thinking into positive thinking. The process is simple, but it does take time and practice — you're creating a new habit, after all. Here are some ways to think and behave in a more positive and optimistic way:

Identify areas to change. If you want to become more optimistic and engage in more positive thinking, first identify areas of your life that you typically think negatively about, whether it's work, your daily commute or a relationship, for example. You can start small by focusing on one area to approach in a more positive way.
Check yourself. Periodically during the day, stop and evaluate what you're thinking. If you find that your thoughts are mainly negative, try to find a way to put a positive spin on them.
Be open to humor. Give yourself permission to smile or laugh, especially during difficult times. Seek humor in everyday happenings. When you can laugh at life, you feel less stressed.
Follow a healthy lifestyle. Exercise at least three times a week to positively affect mood and reduce stress. Follow a healthy diet to fuel your mind and body. And learn to manage stress.
Surround yourself with positive people. Make sure those in your life are positive, supportive people you can depend on to give helpful advice and feedback. Negative people may increase your stress level and make you doubt your ability to manage stress in healthy ways.
Practice positive self-talk. Start by following one simple rule: Don't say anything to yourself that you wouldn't say to anyone else. Be gentle and encouraging with yourself. If a negative thought enters your mind, evaluate it rationally and respond with affirmations of what is good about you.
Here are some examples of negative self-talk and how you can apply a positive thinking twist to them.

Negative self-talk Positive thinking
I've never done it before. It's an opportunity to learn something new.
It's too complicated. I'll tackle it from a different angle.
I don't have the resources. Necessity is the mother of invention.
I'm too lazy to get this done. I wasn't able to fit it into my schedule but can re-examine some priorities.
There's no way it will work. I can try to make it work.
It's too radical a change. Let's take a chance.
No one bothers to communicate with me. I'll see if I can open the channels of communication.
I'm not going to get any better at this. I'll give it another try.

Practicing positive thinking every day

If you tend to have a negative outlook, don't expect to become an optimist overnight. But with practice, eventually your self-talk will contain less self-criticism and more self-acceptance. You may also become less critical of the world around you. Plus, when you share your positive mood and positive experience, both you and those around you enjoy an emotional boost.

Practicing positive self-talk will improve your outlook. When your state of mind is generally optimistic, you're able to handle everyday stress in a more constructive way. That ability may contribute to the widely observed health benefits of positive thinking.

Mayo Clinic

How to Minimize Negative Energy in Your Life

I am all about giving second, even third chances, but sometimes there just comes a point where cutting someone out of your life is the ticket to your self esteem and happiness. No one deserves to drive away all of your positive energy, so don’t let them.

Never forget that what you chose to focus on gets lit up with the spotlight that is your intention, and you have the power to decide where that spotlight is pointed. Try to tackle hardships with sensibility rather than letting them get the best of you, because most things in this life can be overcome if we chose to do so. I see our energy as an internal flame that can be burning bright or barely flickering. Commit to grabbing the steering wheel of your life and driving towards the things that ignite that fire, and away from the things that douse the flames.


http://www.mindbodygreen.com/0-3656/How-to-Minimize-Negative-Energy-in-Your-Life.html

What Scars Do You Let Define You?

What Scars Do You Let Define You?

Oftentimes, we don’t have control, but we can choose to react in a positive way to what life throws at us—to embrace the difficulties, to embrace the heartache, to embrace everything we face and learn and grow from it. I think that is when I began to appreciate what I have, whom I am becoming, and this beautiful world we live in. That is also when I realized that if there is something I don’t like about my life, I have the power to change it.

When I found that inner strength and began to come to these realizations and when I began to study myself and get to know myself, that’s when I stopped letting that one-inch scar define me, and that’s when I think it disappeared.