Things have been very difficult for me the past few weeks but especially the past few days, especially since Friday. Fell in love and lost- heart-broken and at a loss of confidence. Interview and wasn't my best. Finals next week. Drunkenness at home. So much negativity. So much to be depressed about. Head pulses, headache abounds, the mind is stressed, the body suffers, clarity is gone, the heart is tense, purpose is confused. The home is broken. It's hard to also not fall apart. My best friend deployed. He was the one who understood my pain and took it away, who gave me confidence and made me feel beautiful when I didn't have it for myself and wanted more. Yes, I am not well right now, but I will overcome. I will not spiral downward like the times before. I will not lose myself. I will be strong. I will overcome. I will borrow the energy of others. I will be supported and loved by my friends and family I have. I will be pushed forward by the care of others. I will regain strength from music and taking of myself, from believing better horizons, from pursuing my dreams and goals (YES I HAVE THEM). I HAVE THEM AND I DESERVE THEM. I DESERVE TO BE HAPPY AND FREE AND NOT STRUGGLE AND SUFFER SO MUCH. I NEED TO NO LONGER ALLOW MYSELF TO PEOPLE WHO AREN'T RIGHT FOR MY LOVE. I NEED TO PRACTICE INDEPENDENCE AND CONFIDENCE AND SELF-LOVE.

Onward from here,
Jess