Romantic love can be an enjoyable and harmless emotional game
—as long as we do not attempt to construct our lives around it.
When we look deeply into the causes of romantic love,
we see that it is a complex, conventional set of feelings
implanted in us by popular culture.
This emotional response is private and self-contained,
sometimes stimulated by another person or an image of our Dream Lover.

But instead of 'falling in love',
we can create unique, singular relationships
—reality-based interactions, free, loving commitments,
based on knowledge, respect, and mutuality.

http://www.tc.umn.edu/~parkx032/NWL.html