Jesus Within ... Love and Beauty

“When you look upon another human being and feel great love toward them, or when you contemplate beauty in nature and something within you responds deeply to it, close your eyes for a moment and feel the essence of that love or that beauty within you, inseparable from who you are, your true nature.”



Eckhart Tolle

The stillness, beauty, and peace that arise in this very moment.

Emmons also strongly recommends a variety of stress management techniques, such as learning meditation to self-regulate thoughts, called mindfulness.

“People with recurring depression tend to get triggered very quickly -- almost like a track is laid down, a slippery slope,” he says. “It pays to put some real effort into learning to recognize this immediately and to learn ways to steady yourself.”

Jon Kabat-Zinn "Intimacy with Self"

Tips for Managing Wandering Mind

"Examination is the first step: becoming alert to what passes through your mind. And there is constant traffic -- so many thoughts, so many desires, so many dreams are passing by. You have to be watchful; you have to examine each and everything that passes through the mind. Not a single thought should pass unawares, because that means you were asleep. Become more and more observant." -- An excerpt from Osho’s teachings. He was and is a very wise man. Here are some helpful tips on how to be “the watchful observer” of your very own mind.

1. You are not your mind. You know that, right? The mind is a mere tool, an instrument to the functioning of the entire system of the body. Humans have about 65,000 thoughts a day, 90% of which thoughts of yesterday, repeat today. That’s a lot of clutter and noise to navigate through! Especially if they’re negative thought loops or patterns that just repeat- over and over and over again. You are a human being with thoughts, with the capacity to think, BUT you are not your mind. You are the thinker, but not which is being thunk.

2. Start to notice your patterns. So you’ve become aware of the fact that you’re not your mind—great. Now, check out the inner monologue your mind is having with itself. What are the things you think about most? Are they from the past? Are they worried on the future? What’s the noise in there that is preoccupying you from being fully present in the moment? Start to watch the stories your mind creates and WHY they even get created in the first place. Crack the code to your subconscious and unconscious thought patterns!

3. What are you thinking when you’re in conversation? This is the best way to tell how present you are with the person in front of you. Are you actually taking in what they’re saying—really listening? Or is your mind too busy conjuring up what to say as soon as this person in front of you closes their mouth? Is your mind spacing out and not receiving information that is being given right in front of you? Do you repeat the same story over and over again? Are you mindfully relaying of the language coming out of your mouth when you speak? Is your mind in conscious connection with your throat, tongue and lips? Or is your mouth enslaved to the inner workings of your mind? If your mind your dictating master or your humble servant?

4. Meditation. The ultimate technique on becoming friends with your mind and coaxing it to work with and for you versus against you is via meditation. Your mind can either be your greatest enemy or your greatest companion. It might be scary at first -- acknowledging the noise in your brain. It’s okay. Everyone goes through it. We all have to start somewhere. Find a teacher to show you how to do it properly. Yes you can learn how to do it on your own, DIY, I’m a huge fan and firm believer in creating your own experiences BUT there are some things you might miss out on that someone who has had experience and does it for a living. They might be able to teach you a thing or two. But remember, the #1 Guru is YOU.

5. Read up on it. Check out this link on the brain. It’s fascinating.

6. Honor and Respect. Your mind does so much for you. Take care of it. Wash it, clean in, purge it of all damaging and hurtful thoughts. Feed it nutritious food, water its soil, give your mind sunlight, love, care, attention and care. The more you respect your mind, the more it will serve you to it’s highest degree and potential. Your brain, along with your spine facilitate for the workings of you entire body. Your brain and nervous system communicate with one another so you can do things like read, walk, talk, listen to music, eat food, sleep, wake up, function, etc etc. Treat your mind with honor and respect.

http://www.mindbodygreen.com/0-3987/6-Tips-to-Manage-Your-Wandering-Mind.html

The Space Between Self-Esteem and Self Compassion

Self-esteem
-Global judgment of self-esteem: Am I good person or a bad person?
If you hate yourself, you're going to be depressed and hate yourself, will have anxiety and psychological problems
To have high self-esteem, you have to feel special and above average
To all feel above average, we have to put ourselves up and put others down to feel better by comparison
--Epidemic of narcissism in this culture
--Epidemic of bullying by kids who are forming their sense of self-esteem to feel stronger and more powerful
--People are prejudice in order to enhance their own self-esteem by feeling their group is better
--Will only feel good about oneself when one succeeds and will feel lousy and like a failure when fails
--Women invest in their self-esteem in how attractive they are

Self-compassion not about judging ourselves kindly but about relating to ourselves kindly.

Self-compassion has three core components:
1. Treating ourselves with kindness instead of harsh self-judgment: Patience, kindness, gentleness, compassion
2. Common humanity: How am I the same as others (instead of asking how we are different). To be human means to be imperfect as people and in our lives - that is the shared human experience. When we struggle in lives, we can feel abnormal and that we shouldn't be failing. The feeling of abnormality that is so psychologically damaging.
3. Mindfulness: Being with what is in the present moment. turn toward, validate, and accept that we are suffering in order to give ourselves self-compassion.

Treat ourselves with the same kindness, care, and concern we treat our friends
Intentionally try to be more compassionate to myself - it will make an immediate difference
Self-compassion offers a lot of benefits other people don't
Making ourselves feel isolated makes things so much worse when in reality that is what connects us to others.
When we criticize ourselves, we tap into threat defense system - our bodies prepare for the fight or flight response, releasing cortisol and adrenaline.
Threat not to our actual selves, but to our perception.
We feel threatened by problem so we attack ourselves - we are attacker and attacked.
If you are a constant self-critic, you will have constantly have high levels of stress and for the body to protect itself, it will shut down and become depressed to deal with all the stress.
We can think we need to criticize ourselves to be motivated but the opposite has found to be true.

TO FEEL SAFE:
Tap into mammalian care-giving system: oxytocin and opiates
Our bodies are programmed to respond to warmth, gentle touch, and soft vocalizations
When we give ourselves compassion, we actually reduce our cortisol levels and release oxytocin and opiates
When we feel safe and comfortable, we are in our optimal state to do our best

Self-compassion strongly related to mental health, life satisfaction, connectedness with others (interpersonal relationships), better lifestyle choices
Self-compassion offers benefits of self-esteem without the pitfalls - not associated with narcissism or constant social comparison
When self-esteem deserts you, self-compassion steps in and gives you a sense of being valuable because you are a human being worthy of love in that moment - Be a friend to yourself in that moment

Practicing self-compassion will open your heart to be compassionate to others

Mindful Self Compassion

How do you typically react to difficulties in life—work stress, feeling rejected, physical problems, or financial hardship? As human beings, most of us instinctively fight negative experiences and find fault in ourselves when things go wrong: “This shouldn’t be happening!” “What’s the matter with me!?” Unfortunately, this tendency just adds stress to our lives and the critical self-talk defeats us before we know what’s happening. For example, the more we struggle to fall asleep, the harder it is to sleep; fighting with anxiety makes us feel worried all the time; and blaming ourselves for feeling bad just makes us depressed. But what would happen if, instead, you took a moment to calm and comfort yourself when you felt bad, just because you felt bad—much like you’d do for others? In other words, what if you learned the art of mindful self-compassion?

Self-compassion is a skill that can be learned by anyone, even those who didn’t receive enough affection in childhood or who find it embarrassing to be kind to themselves. Self-compassion is actually a courageous mental attitude that stands up to harm—the harm that we inflict on ourselves every day by overworking, overeating, overanalyzing, and overreacting. With mindful self-compassion, we’re better able to recognize when we’re under stress and face what’s happening in our lives (mindfulness) and to take a kinder and more sustainable approach to life’s challenges. Self-compassion gives emotional strength and resilience, allowing us to recover more quickly from bruised egos to admit our shortcomings, forgive ourselves, and respond to ourselves and others with care and respect. After all, making mistakes is part of being human. Self-compassion also provides the support and inspiration required to make necessary changes in our lives and reach our full potential.

Research has shown that self-compassion greatly enhances emotional well-being. It boosts happiness, reduces anxiety and depression, and can even help you stick to your diet and exercise routine. And it’s easier than you think. Most of us feel compassion when a close friend is struggling. What would it be like to receive the same caring attention whenever you needed it most? All that’s required is shift in the direction of our attention—recognizing that as a human being, you, too, are a worthy recipient of compassion.

mindfulness

Cultivating a different relationship with stressful things

MINDFULNESS:
1. Moment to moment non-judgmental awareness
2. Cultivating a more comfortable way of relating with stressful things

Can create struggle over things we can't change
We have these human brains that can think about the past and the future and prevent us from being in this present moment
This very moment, here and now, is what we have
We can add insult to injury if we judge ourselves to be a failure because we add pain
Is my judgment serving me well? Can add to discomfort and stress
Only we can change things is if we are aware: Our habits, thoughts, sensation, emotions
There is a benefit of being aware of experiences moment-by-moment
Cancer itself is not stressful - It's how people deal with it
The stress arises out of how a person RELATES to something
How we relate is the source of struggle and suffering

We have pain and then we add this bad feeling about it
Just allow experience to happen - don't judge it
AWARENESS is the foundation
Not about just having stressors in life, but about how we relate to them
Cannot control what happens - it's here - where we create stress is about how we relate to the reality of the situation - the struggle over the actuality of the experience

Amazing... Mindfulness

Mindfulness is defined as cultivating exquisite attention to the present moment—with openness and without judgment.

Since mindfulness first was studied over 30 years ago, it has become increasingly recognized as a therapeutic remedy to stress and anxiety, and studies have shown many mental and physical health benefits, including chronic pain relief, increased learning potential, greater compassion and happiness. Mindfulness brings about mental clarity, concentration and calmness.

And the practice of mindfulness allows us to become fully alive. Here’s how:

By paying attention to the smallest of detail in our existence, we learn to stay with our experiences, positive or negative, without attachment or struggle. And by staying with our experiences, we find peace, as we release ourselves from the need to control how we experience life.

By engaging fully with the present moment, we deeply experience life – its love, joy, contentment, even the pain and sadness. Our awareness evolves and softens, and we learn to enjoy the entire experience of being alive. Not lost in the past, or in the future, but truly alive in this moment.

By recognizing our thoughts and emotions, we see their transient nature. We realize we do not have to be captive to thoughts and emotions, that we simply can hold an awareness of them. The inner landscape becomes peaceful, allowing us to access our inherent wisdom and intuition.

While the world around us is constantly changing, mindfulness gives us the opportunity to be present with ourselves just as we are. We find stillness, no matter what is going on inside or outside of us. We let go of judgments, and we find wisdom, compassion and equanimity that result from letting go of emotional reactivity.

You can begin to experience mindfulness right now in this moment. Read through the following paragraph and try this simple exercise:

Close your eyes for a few minutes. Bring awareness to your breath. Observe the breath and the body. When the mind wanders, bring it back again to the breath, without judgment. Enjoy the spaciousness of resting in this place of awareness with your breath, and enjoy the stillness of the mind.

Notice what is happening in the moment: any sounds, smells or sensations, and let the breath be the anchor of your attention. Just breathe and be for a few minutes.

When you open your eyes, notice the calmness of body and mind, and note any shift in perception of the things around you.

With practice, mindfulness truly will change your experience of life.

http://www.mindbodygreen.com/0-7735/why-mindfulness-will-change-your-life.html

Mindfulness and meditation