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Use Your Heart as a Wall: Make It Stronger Instead of Shutting Down

“The pain you feel today will be the strength you feel tomorrow.” ~Unknown

In Your Own Defense

That sense of an empty heart is something all of us are familiar with.

When we are hurt, we immediately want to protect ourselves. We change some behavior to act as a defense mechanism for the “next time.” These mechanisms compound to build a thicker and thicker wall “protecting” our heart.

For me, it took forever. The pain began to have breaks, yet came back with the same intensity. After more forever, the breaks became longer until the pain began to be only spikes during memories. Finally, the pain began to slowly subside in intensity.

Leaving only emptiness.

What About the Emptiness?

It turns out that emptiness is atrophy. When there is no love in the heart, it is like a precisely tuned machine with nothing to produce. It just sits there and begins to rust.

So, I, as do many of us, waited for the pain to subside behind the walls built from heartbreak. All the while, my heart sat rusting.

Hmmm. Now I’ve got a rusted heart and a bunch of walls to break through.

There’s got to be a better way…and there is.

A Different Kind of Wall

It is said that there are two ways to deal with pain. One is to shut your heart off so it won’t be hurt; the other is to open it bigger to allow more love to find it.

These are odd phrases, you know? Your heart is a muscle. It has inherent strength that can be made stronger, like every other muscle, by using it.

Choose to use your heart as the wall to protect you.

Even when hurt, continue to build the heart muscle from use. Yes, it’s weakened by the sting, but it’s still capable of all the strength it had before.

A strong, loving heart is more prepared to absorb hurtful blows than weak attempts to hide it from the world. Even a broken heart continues to feed the body.

Grow your heart by learning from the pain and continuing on. Continue on as before, loving as deeply as you can. The more you love, the more strength your heart retains and builds.

Love. Learn. Love more.

Imagine your heart as a castle. When something approaches, let it in just as a castle’s drawbridge lets in its guests. Let your still loving heart’s strength protect you from emotional attacks, catapulting letdowns, and poisonous relationships, like the stone walls of those castles.

You see, walls are built stone by stone. Let your stones be loving acts both given and received, instead of compounding defense mechanisms. Give and be grateful for receiving each piece of strength to your wall, knowing there’s still a drawbridge.

Un-loving Is Impossible

I loved “her” dearly, you know? No matter how much it hurt, though, I couldn’t un-know that love. The pain subsided, but the love was just as strong—just still there.

Those that I meet now that approach my castle are greeted and welcomed with the love I learned from her. Sure, some may aim to hurt, or do so unintentionally, but they have no idea the strength they’re up against.

Love after love, my heart becomes stronger. With each loss, a new layer of muscle rebuilds over the last. With a stronger a heart, a stronger love, and a new, different, more beautiful cycle is born.

Of Nothing

So, what was the point of the defense mechanism walls? Nothing. They only served to contain, block, and otherwise stifle the beautiful strength the heart could build.

The more you compound your defenses, the more you stifle your heart. The longer you wait to love, the more your heart rusts. Conversely, the more you simply love, the stronger your heart-wall becomes and the more able you are to absorb the hurt and build again.

Crazy In Love

The pain still comes, soft and far between. My eyes still tear. But now, it’s for the memory of that time we shared, the gratitude for the biggest lesson, for the little piece of my heart that tells her it’s okay when she’s staring at the ceiling in the middle of the night.

Crazy, isn’t it? I left a piece of my heart with her. My heart shouldn’t be as strong as it was, let alone stronger.

But it is, because the heart, like any other muscle, gets strong with use.

Build your heart. Love with every opportunity. Be readily prepared to open that left ventricle when the charming knight or beautiful princess arrives.

Or even the pizza guy.

http://tinybuddha.com/blog/use-your-heart-as-a-wall-make-it-stronger-instead-of-shutting-down/

just wanted I needed... thankful for the benevolence of the Almighty

The good news is that fear is merely an illusion. Fear is something we invent. The only thing that gives it any power is when we listen to it.

So since we create fear, that means we can destroy it. Fear loses its power over us if we stop listening to it.

When it creeps into our head, we can acknowledge its presence, look for what we can learn from the fear message, thank it for its concerns, and then refuse to listen.

It’s a choice that we can make.

How empowering is that?

I am begging you to break the bondage of fear in your life and start to live your life free. Free to live and breathe your dreams and receive your blessings from the universe that loves you, and wants to help you be successful and happy. This freedom can be acquired and granted to us through TRUST.

When we decide to trust in the universe, we create a sacred space that surrounds us like a shield that keeps the fear out.

When we trust—no matter what—that...
-Everything will be OK.
-Everything will work out fantastically if we walk our unique paths toward our dreams.
-We will be led to add our own unique talent to the world.
... then fears melts away.

Once we start trusting, and commit to trusting, life begins to really open up. We are like roses unfolding in bloom.

When you are trusting the universe, you feel lighter. You feel beautiful. You begin walking with passion and purpose. And you feel great because you know the universe has your back.

It feels amazing. It makes you feel like a kid again.

Remember when you were a child and you didn’t have to worry about anything? Without worrying about it, you were automatically clothed, and fed, and had a roof over your head. All you cared about was where you were going to ride your bike, the next neighborhood game, who would be available to play the next day, where to build your fort….

When you decide to trust in the universe to lead you on your way and take care of you, your playful nature is restored. When you opt to trust, the universe swallows up your worries. And your troubles. And LET'S YOU PLAY!

You are free to play when you have no worries. It’s the greatest feeling!

If I wake up on any given day with a heavy heart and feel the blues because the very thought of certain situations in my life and the uncertainties surrounding them are serving me pillaging thoughts of angst and worry--that is a clear indication that my trust in the universe is currently low. Instead of continuing down that self-destructive process of thought, I can stop myself right there, close my eyes, and start breathing.

As I slowly inhale, I breathe in trust, and slowly exhale fear. I breathe in trust, and bring it down into the bottom of my stomach and then alllllll the way down to my toes. As I exhale fear, I expel it from my lungs.

I continue to do this simple meditation exercise until I can feel the energy shift within and around me. I draw in light to myself as I focus on and renew my trust in my higher power.

After I am centered, I move into my day with positive energy and a knowing that everything is going to be alright. If I feel myself start to slip back into those mopey feelings, I begin to breathe in trust all over again, until the feeling subsides.

I would love to know how this meditation works for you! I would also like to know if there are any other exercises you do to renew your trust with the universe.

Get rid of the fear illusions, friends. Lighten your load of worries by trusting in the benevolence of our universe.

Bliss out and go play!

http://www.mindbodygreen.com/0-6728/An-Exercise-to-Get-Rid-of-Fear-and-Start-Trusting-the-Universe.html

When you set out to release a habit, first be kind to yourself and thank your subconscious for creating the protective mechanism. It did its best to help, but its way of going about it was not useful. Acknowledge the cause of the need for this protection and decide how you could replace the protection in a more constructive way.


http://www.mindbodygreen.com/0-7673/are-you-your-own-worst-enemy-how-to-stop-sabotaging-yourself.html