A COUPLE OF THE LARGEST ELEMENTS I'VE OBSERVED AS PART OF THIS HUMAN LIFE.

REACTING AND COPE. OUR CHOICES TO DETERMINE OUR LIFE'S COURSE THE BEST WE CAN IN THE MIDST OF WHAT WE CAN CONTROL.

Love and peace,
Jess

Coping

Coping is thus expending conscious effort to solve personal and interpersonal problems, and seeking to master, minimize or tolerate stress or conflict.

Proactive coping - a coping response aims to head off a future stressor.

Coping responses are partly controlled by personality (habitual traits), but also partly by the social context, particularly the nature of the stressful environment.

Hundreds of coping strategies have been identified.[6] Classification of these strategies into a broader architecture has not yet been agreed upon. Common distinctions are often made between various contrasting strategies, for example: problem-focused versus emotion-focused; engagement versus disengagement; cognitive versus behavioral. The psychology textbook by Weiten has provided a useful summary of three broad types of coping strategies:

~ appraisal-focused (adaptive cognitive),
~ problem-focused: Any coping behavior that is directed at reducing or eliminating a stressor, adaptive behavioral
~ emotion-focused: Directed towards changing one's own emotional reaction to a stressor

Appraisal-focused strategies occur when the person modifies the way they think, for example: employing denial, or distancing oneself from the problem. People may alter the way they think about a problem by altering their goals and values, such as by seeing the humor in a situation: "some have suggested that humor may play a greater role as a stress moderator among women than men".

People using problem-focused strategies try to deal with the cause of their problem. They do this by finding out information on the problem and learning new skills to manage the problem. Problem-focused coping is aimed at changing or eliminating the source of the stress.

Emotion-focused strategies involve releasing pent-up emotions, distracting oneself, managing hostile feelings, meditating or using systematic relaxation procedures. Emotion-focused coping "is oriented toward managing the emotions that accompany the perception of stress".

Typically, people use a mixture of all three types of coping strategies, and coping skills will usually change over time. All these methods can prove useful, but some claim that those using problem-focused coping strategies will adjust better to life.[9] Problem-focused coping mechanisms may allow an individual greater perceived control over their problem, whereas emotion-focused coping may sometimes lead to a reduction in perceived control (maladaptive coping).

“No magic potions, no fairy dust. No one to push you. No one to do it for you. just one determined foot in front of the other.” – Unknown

"The more you know who you are, and what you want, the less you let things upset you." - Bob Harris, 'Lost in Translation'

Brooklyn

Buildings of brick
Stick in my memory
The formation of my earliest memories
Consist of glass, gun, ash, and snow
Glass
Guns
Ash
Snow
Raising children aint easy
Especially in a city in the 90s
My mother got punched in the face on the street
Because she couldn't speak English
And gave off the "wrong" expression,
Inviting a blow to the face
And a final blow to the city of my birth, New York City, borough of Brooklyn

It's funny when stories turn to suffering
Words to pain
Knowledge to tears
When what was normalized and adjusted to causes great tension
And pain
Well, I've woken up that things are not normal anymore
And now I have to cope
Years later